What would you do if Kerry as nominee offered the VP slot to Ralph Nader?

[Iverson]

It's my first poll, and America wants to know!

[Dookus]

1. Other

take out my steel umbrella to protect me from the pigshit sure to be falling from the skies.

[union_maid]

42. That's about the size of it. n/t

eom

[mdmc]

2. oh, I was the first vote!

`:kick:

[tom_paine]

3. Liquor cabinet

Right away.

Do not pass go, do not collect $200.00.

[IndianaGreen]

4. I will watch in amusement as the Kerry supporters rationalize this one!

I expect Kerry to pick Gephardt as his running mate.

[Jim Sagle]

5. I'd wake up from that really silly dream.

[eileen_d]

56. Definitely!

Or maybe I'd roll over and snooze a bit longer, waiting for the line of William Shatners doing "Riverdance" to show up...

[jpgray]

6. As a Democrat, his hypocrisy would at least be familiar. :-)

My main problem with Nader is his netting of idealist folks combined with his investments in some of the worst corporations this nation contains. As a Democrat, such investments wouldn't single him out, so long as he didn't lambast anyone else for holding them. I would support that ticket as heartily as another.

[Cuban_Liberal]

7. Get a mirror

I'd want to actually SEE those purple monkeys flying outta my butt...

[sangh0]

8. I would check my pig's ass

and make sure monkey's weren't flying out of there

[Iverson]

26. I didn't know you owned a pig!

As long as you're both consenting adults, I really have nothing to say in that matter.
;-)

P.S. - Please wear a glove.

edited for good advice

[sangh0]

54. If you own a pig

you also won gloves. You must be a city boy!

[Iverson]

55. exactly right

It doesn't get much more urban than Detroit, and although while I was growing up the term "pigs" was in frequent use, it didn't refer to the farm animal variety.

[BeachBuckeye]

9. I would think Kerry had lost his mind

And then go have a good stiff drink while figuring out what to do with my vote.

[Tank in Texas]

10. Kerry Isn't the Nominee Yet.

Well, Kerry is not guaranteed the nomination just yet. Let's wait until he is, OK?

[Iverson]

11. Oh, I know. Note the "if" in the title.

It should be OK to discuss a little "what if?" I think.

[sangh0]

14. Sure

Your "what if" has as much chance of happening as monkey's flying out of a pig's ass.

Better?

[Tank in Texas]

15. what would you do IF Edwards as the nominee did the same?

Just a bit "pre-emptive" of you there Iverson.

[Iverson]

19. tricky

You're as much as asking me to give away my vote. Sorry, but a gentleman has to have some secrets.

[kanrok]

12. I would get a strong net

to catch the monkeys flying out of my butt.

[Zynx]

13. I would really question Mr. Kerry's sanity.

Luckily, he's smart and skilled and would never do such a thing.

[Mobius]

16. other silly poll

Please, Kerry might as well pick Paris Hilton.

[Iverson]

17. now look!

If you want to construct a poll with Paris Hilton in it, I am not stopping you.

[Mobius]

25. I don't think there is much chance of Nader being asked to be VP

At least if he picked Miss Hilton, we might get the college frat boy swing vote:P

[mmonk]

18. It would then be time for Kerry to be taken to the

rack or to be drawn and quartered.

[buddhamama]

20. i'd vote democratic

and hope that DK would be part of the Administration too.

i mean, come on, if Kerry can choose Nader for VP,
DK can have a well deserved position too.

[Maddy McCall]

21. When I awoke, I would say "Wow, what a fucked up nightmare!"

Because the only place such a scenario would transpire would be in an imaginary world.

[scheming daemons]

22. I'd respect Kerry even less than I do now....

...as he would have done the impossible - made Bush look like and ethical and responsible man in comparison.


Ralph Nader should be part of NO American administration ever. He's a nutcase egomaniac.


This would be the absolute worst, and I mean worst, possible thing Kerry could do.



...which is why he won't. And neither would Edwards.

[SangamonTaylor]

23. THERE IS NO SPOON. n/t

[mot78]

24. ABB while holding my nose

Not because Kerry would be on the ticket, but because of Ralphie.

[CBHagman]

27. I'd check for hockey practice in hell.

NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Kerry's surely aware how much we all hate Saint Ralph. I'm sure the entire Democratic Party, including Jimmy Carter, would rather swim through raw sewage than give Nader a spot on the ticket.

[Ysabel]

28. explain...?

um...

well - i've already changed my mind - i voted "other" - but i think perhaps instead that i might feel reified in the hermeneutics of indeterminacy - that is if i knew exactly what that meant - so i asked htuttle - in the meanwhile i thought perhaps i might just like to re-rent the matrix - htuttle said he'd have to go look some things up before he could give me an answer on that - but he'd rather just watch the matrix - so it might be awhile before i make my final decision...

[Iverson]

29. It's OK.

You can phone a friend. You can even ask the audience!

[mitchum]

30. I would worry that some Birkenstock-ed trustfunder...

would shoot Kerry

[djg21]

31. I'd vote for Shrub.

While I have always been ABB, I must say that I've grown to despise Ralph Nader as much, if not more than, than I do Shrub.

Shrub is a stupid puppet who has no clue.

Nader, on the other hand, fully comprehends, and utterly disregards, the consequences of his decisions and actions. He is a truly despicable person who places his own self-aggrandizement above the welfare of this country, and above the "progressive" values he supposedly champions.

Perhaps we at DU should take up a collection to purchase a car for Nader in appreciation for all his efforts to recast out party -- we can find an old ford Pinto that only goes in reverse, and we can give it to him with a full tank of gas! :grr::grr::grr:

[Piperay]

35. along with a set full set of Firestone 500

tires.

[West Coast Democrat]

32. I would vote Democratic, of course

but I'd wonder, why in the heck is Kerry picking this 70 year-old, crazy guy as a running mate?

[Padraig18]

33. Sell snow shovels in Hell.

They'd need them the day Nader got offered the VP slot by Kerry...

[Piperay]

34. Vote Democratic

and hold my nose while punching in for ralph.

[Lefty48197]

36. I'd write in Hillary Clinton and John Sweeney

ok, just kidding. I'm voting for the Democrats in November and I WILL be at the polls, even if I have to crawl five miles on my hands and knees to vote.

[RichM]

37. How could anyone NOT feel reified in th' hermeneutics of indeterminacy?

This is an absolute slam-dunk. ANYONE, at ANY TIME, who is given an option like that and doesn't choose it - is an unappreciative heathen, & will regret missing his one shining chance for the rest of all eternity.

[carpetbagger]

38. Liquor cabinet, then walk to polls to vote Kerry/Nader.

I swallowed my pride in a Nader swap with a guy from Oregon, so I've proven my loyalty to the cause, even to the point of voting for that weirdo.

[library_max]

39. I would look around for Alan Funt or Rod Serling. /nt

[blondeatlast]

40. Hold my nose and vote Dem.

[GreenPartyVoter]

41. I'm holding my nose and voting Dem anyway, so..

[cryofan]

43. Great Poll....Nader as VP == Bush as Ex-President

That would be a GREAT option for the Democrats: put Nader on as VP.

[andym]

44. Laugh when Nader turns him down

[Phelan]

45. Other: Laugh

[Iverson]

46. RESULTS ANALYZED TUESDAY. VOTE WHILE YOU CAN.

That would be Tuesday, Feb. 24, probably between classes.
Stay tuned to this space!

[Mr. Brown of MD]

47. Break into the liquor cabinet

Then vote Democratic.

-CollegeDude
In that exact order

[NoPasaran]

48. Other

Finally find out if there's a limit to the number of threads you can have on "Ignore"

[Shanty Oilish]

49. Group hurl

Not gonna happen, Kerry doesn't make mistakes like that.

[DebJ]

50. I'd try to get out of the alternate-reality universe I found myself in

[Iverson]

51. REPORT ON RESULTS

Here's most of the letter from P.P.Pundit Associates, edited for clarity.

"All right, (Iverson), your check cleared. Here's what it all means.

The pluriality in your scenario would vote Democratic, but 42% is not a majority. Taking into account the 4% who would discontinue voting Democratic, that's a net positive of approximately 38%, kind of a Regis Philbin Effect. If you want a Kerry/Nader ticket to win in November, you're going to need something else. We recommend a reality tv show.

Other was a deceptively strong 19%, but upon close examination we found a split between those who want to think about the weather in hell and those more concerned with the circumstances of pork anus. We think that this cohort may stay home on election day.

A strong third place finish, at 17%, was breaking into the liquor cabinet. This is the Hockey Night in Canada demographic, and we think that your ticket could make serious inroads here, possibly enough to push it over the 50% mark. Distributing the liquor beforehand is your best bet. Nevverthelss, you may still need to attract swing voters in other categories.

Matrix renters, tied for 4th at 7%, might be appealed to by distributing copies of The Matrix at the polling site, or else by accepting their copies of Matrix Reloaded.

Lit-crit zombies (hermenuetics of indeterminacy), also tied for 4th at 7%, could cast their ballots for Kerry/Nader if they could be persuaded that their dissertation committee wanted them to. These people will only be influenced on an individual basis, so proceed if your organization has lots of human capital.

The other groups are almost statistically insignificant. We note with interest the net loss of money to the DNC/DLC. Our research tells us that the dancers will dance regardless and are not open to influence. Appealing to them is a waste of your resources.

Our conclusion: you need instant runoff voting (IRV).

Sincerely,
P.P. Pundit
President, P.P.Pundit Associates"

[MurikanDemocrat]

52. Expect pigs to fly outta my ass next

[Iverson]

53. Read the darn report!

I believe that your concern was covered.

Other was a deceptively strong 19%, but upon close examination we found a split between those who want to think about the weather in hell and those more concerned with the circumstances of pork anus. We think that this cohort may stay home on election day.

Emphasis added.

[Iverson]

57. THANKS TO ALL PARTICIPANTS.

I'm about to leave town for a short conference, and I promise to use the results only if it gets really boring there.

I thank you, and America thanks you.

[mvd]

58. Vote Democratic..

after I'd been shocked, pleased, wary and scared in that order.

[bitchkitty]

59. Open an ice water stand in hell. n/t

[Nicholas_J]

60. Buy

A vintage corvair.