I'm not ABB anymore. I am going to write myself in on the ballot.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

Let's face it. Experience doesn't matter. If experience mattered, Bush would have never gotten elected. Bush got elected. Therefore, experience doesn't matter. I have no experience. I am qualified for the top job in the nation.

I am sick of special interest groups that undermine MY issues. The only candidate that really addresses MY issues is ME. Our highways are a mess. Everyday, I get on them and people are in my way. When I become president nobody will get in my way. Vote for me. Then nobody will get in your way except me.

I really feel that it is HIGH time that SOMEBODY DID what I WANT THEM to do.

I encourage you to do the same.

There are 300 million people in this country. This is a democracy. Anything short of 300 million names on the ballot is NOT democracy.

I am a prinicpled voter and since the only person who even KNOWS all my principles is ME...I am going to vote for ME.

[Dookus]

1. dammit

*I* was counting on your vote. sigh

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

3. You are nothing but a whore to your own special interests

[Raster]

2. It really is all about you, isn't it?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

5. See at least I can communicate my platform in less than 30 seconds

[Raster]

15. absolutely, and you make a damn good point...

...the track record for both parties is abysmal. HOWEVER, and here is the important part, at least the dems are not being run by a small group of neocon, national socialist, fascist fanatics. In three short years, anyone with half a brain--AND THAT WANTED TO USE IT--was able to discern just how dangerous this small group and their small ideas are. Whatever it takes to pry power out of their hands, we must do.

On Edit: The bush* presidency is something that PNACers and their various right-wing compatriots have been planning for a long time. They know they've got a small window of opportunity. The PNACers even acknowledge that they probably won't be able to (s)elect another candidate after the bush* presidency. They believe that if they can hold the white house for 2 terms, and have access to the judiciary and continue to stack SCOTUS with their justices, another term won't matter. The damage and long-term influence will already be done. This is perhaps the most important reason that I am ABB. Yes, there are major problems with both parties. There are problems with a two-party system. And yes, politics in this country, even our current democratic system may need an overhaul. But the most important thing is to stop $hrubco first.

[The Crow]

4. You mean you're still ABB...

I really like your post. I too am sick of special interest groups and PACs running this country. It's about time someone should say that. The only person I know of that ever did something like that was Paul Wellstone. He had no experience and then he was voted senator, and he was anti-PACS and anti-special interest.

[NewYorkerfromMass]

10. You obviously don't get it.

Paul Wellstone couldn't come close to representing nsma as well as nsma could and will.

[OKNancy]

69. Special interests

Anyone getting tired of this phrase? It's only a bad thing if the interest is not one that meets with approval.

Personally I like special interest groups:
ACLU
Amnesty International
GreenPeace
MoveOn

Anyone else have a favorite special interest group. ASPCA, PETA, AFL-CIO???

[bigtree]

6. ABM

Anybody but me. (nearly)

[Crunchy Frog]

17. NBM

Nobody But Me. I like that ticket.:evilgrin:

[sangha]

7. NSMA will do NOTHING to change the system!!

And NSMA will NOT pay any attention to representing her constituents whose principles differ from hers.

Vote for sangha. He will never substitute his principles for those of his constituents. Sangha motto is "I have no principles, so I'll have to use yours!"

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

11. NO...why? Because I am a leader who stands on principle

People respect a leader who stands on principle even if it isn't the popular thing to do.

[Maddy McCall]

21. What exactly do you plan to do to EARN my vote?

Get busy. Time's awastin'.

:silly:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

26. Earn your vote?

You OWE me your vote if you are sick of politics as usual.

What have the Dems done to earn your vote? And don't give me that stuff about equal rights, civil rights, Affirmative Action, support for organized labor, Clean Air and Water Laws, and Women's Reproductive Rights.

Give me something that actually MEANS something.

[library_max]

89. At least you got the satire.

But you seem to have missed a few basic principles from Democracy 101.

[iamjoy]

8. LMAO

For the first sentence or two I actually took you seriously.

[ulysses]

9. the Sloth & Indolence ticket is wide open

:)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

13. Sloth and Indolence is Bush-Lite

When all this was happening, by definition, they did NOTHING!

I did SOMETHING. I forget what it was and it didn't matter in the long run but at least I DID something.

[ulysses]

20. yes, but let's be realistic.

The do-somethingers are unelectable! 46.5309% of the country identifies themselves as wanting nothing done - Sloth is the only way we can go, and you do-somethingers need to just accept that you're out of the mainstream.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

27. No worries. 4 out of 10 Americans feel they are in the minority.

See?

[ulysses]

but they're the radical fringe.

You're going to listen to them?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

52. No I am going to listen to ME

Nobody is MORE fringe than ME, therefore I should easily garner their vote and mine!

[Frederic Bastiat]

12. Yawn

Nothing interesting here, moving along...

[bearfartinthewoods]

18. i suggest you vote for the 'humor deprived candidate.

this has been the most worthwhile thread if read in days.

[Maddy McCall]

31. I think he should vote for the "You just hit a raw nerve" candidate.

That is what "yawn" on a forum usually means.

[XanaDUer]

14. Don't scare me like that anymore, NSMA!

Jeez.

[Maddy McCall]

16. I am the "save the lichen" candidate...

I believe lichen has NEVER gotten the respect it deserves. Please don't tell me you have lichen on you planks. It's MY issue.

I would consider writing you in, however, if you will do something about dung beetles.

;-)

[DemBones DemBones]

25. The problem with lichens is

that they fragment into two splinter groups immediately, yet maintain an unhealthy "bipartisan" relationship. Should we really save these co-dependents? They abandoned their own parties long ago, after all.

[Maddy McCall]

29. LMAO!!

[DemBones DemBones]

19. Good idea! Screw everybody else!

It's the American Way!

[Guaranteed]

22. You'd have voted against the war, right?

You're a strong person. I'd vote for you.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

28. Yes and my vote alone would have stopped it.

It was selfish of me not to run last time around.

[Guaranteed]

32. But at least you would have opposed it.

And you would have been in that much stronger of a position for it.

On edit: For the record, it COULD have been stopped.

[Maddy McCall]

53. So you will support her now, right?

If you don't, then you are an unprincipled sheeple.

[Guaranteed]

62. Yeah, if she runs. I will.

Seriously.

[Deja Q]

23. Have fun re-electing Bush then...

(skip down to the paragraph starting in boldface if you want to overlook the rhetoric I've repeated in 500,000 other messages... the paragraph starting in boldface adds something new and refreshing.)

The NB_ crowd... sigh.

Sadly, I saw this in GD, when it should have been in GD2004: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=1147112

I didn't respond, although I should have. People who write-in their own candidate over the nominee are only helping Bush. Just as much as the Naderites are.

That's all I have to say these days and I'm going to continue saying it on a random basis as long as people continue to support write-in votes, helping * to win.

In all honesty, I do see where you are coming from: The career politicians and dipshit actor shills should all be evicted, with the commonfolk restored to levels of position and power, the way it was originally meant to be. We live in the system, so we know what's best. Those with money who currently control the politicians only work for their pocketbooks. Not people or the country. That much is clear.

[Feanorcurufinwe]

24. You missed the invisible sarcasm tag.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

30. It would be UNDEMOCRATIC of me to withhold my nomination

I distinguish myself from Bush and the Democratic party candidate by addressing MY concerns.

[NewYorkerfromMass]

33. YES!!! One for one and all for all!

because 'all for one and one for all' ain't working anymore!

[Dookus]

34. all right

you convinced me. Can I be your running mate? My toadying skills are excellent, and since my principles have never been an issue, I'd be a great choice.

[Maddy McCall]

38. Actually, subordinating yourself to the VP slot would be undemocratic

It's, like, all hierarchical and all. I don't think a true liberal progressive idealist would run as a VP.

[Dookus]

44. Yes...

but once the incriminating photos of NSMA and Arianna Huffington doing it on the hood on a Corvair show up, I'll be in prime position to take the top spot.

[Maddy McCall]

45. OMFG! LOL!!!

[5thGenDemocrat]

105. It's very simple, really

You want my vote, pay me for it.
John
Everybody else is getting some. I want some too.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

106. See post 71. I'm gonna pay you for it.

I know how to make a deal.

[littlejoe]

35. Excuse me. Experience doesn't matter? How logical.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

39. If experience mattered, how did George Bush get elected?

Being likable matters. I like me.
Having good one-liners gets elected. I have good one-liners.

[Maddy McCall]

40. Have you ever been in any branch of the military? *I* could never vote

for an army whore. If you served, sorry, but I can't support you.

Besides, all you would do anyway is talk about you being in the army, and that's just irrelevant in choosing a wartime presidential candidate.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

41. No. Therefore, I am not the candidate who will cater to the MIC

[Hav]

98. what about houses?

Are you a house owner?
We don't vore for house owners.

[curse10]

36. NSMA for Prez!!!!!!

I'm writing you in too! We'll show those dirty rascals in DC!

[fleetus]

37. Will you write in your screenname?

You have one of the more memorable ones around here, I think. But who is meany anyway? And nothing shocks him more than what? It always leaves me hanging.

:shrug:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

42. The great thing about my screen name in an election though

Is that everyone will think they are talking about THEM when they are really talking about ME.

I have tapped into the single issue voter like nobody before me.

[DjTj]

43. I challenge you to a one-on-one-on-one-on-one-on-one...debate!

round-robin style. double-elimination. 300 million entries.

We'll see who best represents my views: me, you, or someone else!

[Maddy McCall]

46. Will you cater to your constituents or are you a REAL Independent thinker

who won't consider your constituents in your actions. You know, that is PRINCIPLE!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

49. I am my special interest

[John_H]

47. I'm writing in "my conscience" since politics, like everything else,

IS ALL ABOUT ME, BABY!!!!!!!

[DemExpat]

48. This is the greatest post today!

Fabulous, NSMA......

You would get my vote is I were not running myself...

Sorry...

DemEx

[Maddy McCall]

50. SCANDAL: How do you explain THIS???????

Drudge will be all over this:



Feel free to offer some feeble explanation...even if you, Forrest, and Salma say nothing happened, we don't believe you.

It reeks of Clinton; therefore, you are unelectable.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

54. That's gonadal politics. What is it with this "unelectable" meme?

[Maddy McCall]

55. AHA! You are avoiding the subject. You didn't SAY YOU DIDN'T PARTICIPATE

Quit avoiding this. I want all the salacious details. Better for it to come out NOW than in November.

Explain this photo NOW!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

60. The Democrats are just trying to smear me because I am the superior

candidate.

[Maddy McCall]

65. This horse is still alive, and I am going to flog it until...

I get a straight answer. I always sensed that there was something fishy going on between you and Forrest. The American public will sense that, too.

And while we are on the topic, have you ever had sex with horses???

You know, voters deserve to know.

[Maddy McCall]

70. Yep, your silence is resounding....

I am emailing Matt right now!

Any interns in your past I should know about first?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

71. I plan to have sex with everybody if elected. Then they won't be able

to use that against me.

[Maddy McCall]

74. Oooo...excellent strategy!

[oasis]

51. A candidate in which you are in 100% agreement.The ultimate in "purism".

:evilgrin:

[jus_the_facts]

56. the enviornment is the principle that matters to me most......

....this is my main concern as a voter...this issue made me interested in politics...for it alone is the most important issue we face...yet nothing at all is being done to even slow down the destruction much less stop it :cry:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=1143818

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

59. Then it is your duty to run for office and stop it

Bush is bad for the environment and it's all the Democrats fault that he is the way he is. We should stop Democrats from getting elected because Bush is bad.

[jus_the_facts]

85. Yeah about as likely as Roger Clinton bein' elected Prez...

....ain't gonna happen! x( If the BFEE had been held accountable for their past crimes I seriously doubt we'd be under their control at present....the Democratic party is at fault for not being heartless enough to make these traitors be held accountable...under the full extent of the laws of our land....our forefathers saw the need for drastic measures when it comes to truly defending what we stand for...that included our own people who were to attempt to pervert our Constitution...we've stood by and let it become warped and corrupted by their greed....to the point that our very existence as a species on this planet is threated....yet we fight wars for oil and Nobel scientist are called conspiracy theorist....my vote has never counted as far as my principles are concerned. :(

[NewYorkerfromMass]

57. It's the nothingshocksmeanymore decade!!!

Al Franken will agree!

[RandomKoolzip]

58. NSMA, you have just replaced

Steve Gutenberg as my own personal diety.


I'm willing to bet money that a lot of DUers won't get the irony.


ABB, but especially ME.


Can you expand your platform to be inclusive to DOUBLE-issue voters like me? Because *I* only care about two things: Larry and Balky. To *EARN* my vote, you'd need to make sure "Perfect Strangers" is in permanent syndication on at least 60% of all cable stations 24 hours a day.

2004: This time, it'll be different, fools!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

67. Yes. I will address that in my first hundred days in office

I will pass my platform and yours no matter WHO is in the congress and senate. IT is easy to do. Those pink Tu Tu Democrats didn't because they were in the minority. I'll show you and them how it is done.

Vote for me. I'll do everything you and I want whether the votes to do it are there or not.

[not systems]

61. Great you finally quit enabling "them".

"They" will sell you out everytime.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

63. After all these threads about principles being abandoned,

I felt it necessary to back the ONLY candidate who can operate against my OWN principles in the way most explicable and satisfactory to me......ME!

[not systems]

79. You have made the "right" choice.

Why settle when you can have it "all" in a candidate.

[HawkerHurricane]

64. I, also am running

On the Non Sequitur Party ticket.

We may be irrelevant, but we do like our pizza.

[Maddy McCall]

66. Sorry, I can't vote for you. After all, weren't you in the Navy?

You are beholden to the military-industrial complex.

(you know I am kidding--although, according to some fickle DUers--pizza would be a good reason to vote for you!)

:yourock: HH!

[HawkerHurricane]

72. I was in the navy...

But I never inhaled.

[Maddy McCall]

75. LOL!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

68. Mick Jagger was the Walrus

[HawkerHurricane]

73. My position on walruses is quite clear

Only between consenting adults.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

76. My position on Walruses is clearer

I'm on top always.

[HawkerHurricane]

77. That kind of pandering

is what gives Star Trek fans a bad name.

[Maddy McCall]

78. Spoon would be the only truly democratic position...

no one on top, no one on bottom.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

82. Only a socialist would say that

[not systems]

80. What is your stand on exposing Paul death and ...

the cover up afterwards.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

81. I will point out that it was a conspiracy to cover up the fact

that Exile on Main Street was the superior album.

[HawkerHurricane]

114. I will not only uncover the cover up,

I will find out why he changed his name from Saul.

[Old and In the Way]

83. Sorry, I can only vote for you if you blackmail me.

I need to be scared into voting for you.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

84. Vote for me or Debby Boone will record again

[MurikanDemocrat]

86. Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Skull and Bones Society

And how much influence do Boners have with you?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

87. Boners have no influence with me. I am a lesbian.

[DemBones DemBones]

88. You are

so BAD, NSMA! So BAD! :7 :7 :7

[Maddy McCall]

90. LMFAO!!!

[MurikanDemocrat]

95. Aha! *gasp!*

OH MY GOD! The secret gay agenda!!

You will try to impose equal rights for all citizens! Marriage is only for “normal” couples, you see. Those naughty, naughty gay people will cheapen the sanctity of divorce! Family values will be a sham! The Falwell’s, the Phelps, and religious right will not have their hypocrisy exposed!

I shall have to consult my Skull and Bones rep to dig up dirt on you. Surely there is a clandestine Boner in your past. I know just the DUer well versed in digging up spooks and spinning them into useful paranoia to instill hysteria among the masses. I shall consult him immediately.

Mark my words; I’ll have a press release ready for Drudge by weeks end. You must be stopped. The people of this country must be saved.

[5thGenDemocrat]

119. Lesbian?!!

Heck -- let me watch and I'll vote for you.
John
Call me an old-fashioned, greaseball kind of guy.

[library_max]

91. Great post, great thread!

Only one question - how is your candidacy going to bring to the voting booth the eighty million disaffected progressives we all know would vote if only someone progressive enough would run for president? Because obviously if everyone who doesn't vote would vote for you instead, you'd win in a landslide. There's no better source of votes than people who don't vote.

[Maddy McCall]

92. Easy! See post 71

;-)

[library_max]

101. Thanks, missed it. /nt

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

94. 80 million disaffected progressives is a myth

The most disaffected voters are the poor working class. I will simply go to them and tell them I am going to make them rich rather than lie to them and tell them it needs to get worse to get better.

[Hav]

97. You you you daMn fUKKing Trad0r!

What happened to ABB? Way to split up the Dem vote, foo.
I see where your loyalty is.Only about you and you and you.

I instead am way too principled to support you.


PS
Do you have a running mate yet? I'm sure I can deliver you the heterosexual vote.

If not... one damn trad0r to our cause you are.
Fu!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

99. That does me no good, I already have a lock on the hetero male vote

Every hetero male dreams of getting two lesbians in bed with him. I will tell them I'll do it.

[Hav]

100. .

I'll vote Nader for retaliation.

Anybody but Bush except NSMA.

[eileen_d]

93. You are so... so... ELECTABLE.

I don't know how to post my praise for this thread without obviously whoring for a cabinet post. (Pssst - Secretary of State)

:loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

96. Oh honey if you only knew

you could whore for so much more with me. Stop selling youself short. Even a cabinet post needs to show up for work.

[library_max]

102. I'm still skeptical.

I think you're one of those pink tutu Democrats who won't stand on principle. You haven't called the people who disagree with you nearly enough nasty names to be a True Progressive Democrat (TM).

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

103. You want me to stand on Skinner?

That's kinky.

[buddhamama]

104. i just did actually

in another thread, wrote myself in as a candidate.

wasn't serious when i did it, was trying to give an example
but now that i have read this thread,
You're Right.

oh boy, now you're all going to be sorry
cause i know that my SO will vote for me
which leaves y'all one vote short
and me the winner.

Hope you like me :evilgrin:

[Zomby Woof]

107. NO DAMMIT!!!

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!

Or is this where I reply with "poop"? :shrug:

[buddhamama]

108. just remember you

yaks are not allowed to vote.

i'll be keeping my eye on you too, so no funny business :D

[Zomby Woof]

109. You're yakist!!!

:grr:

:hi: Buddhamama! :bounce:

[CalProf]

110. Okay, if I endorse you

what cabinet position will you give me?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

111. I have to think about it. I am going to rename some of them

For instance, Secretary of State will now be "The GUy/Gal least likely to piss off everyone else and fuck up foreign relations.

Secretary of the Interior will now be "The person unfucking up our faulty ecological practices"

Secretary of Defense will now be "Secretary of how to figure out what to do with all those bombs when we eliminate a war based economy."

Secretary of the Treasury..well...there's no money left so we'll just eliminate that in the hopes of getting the votes of people who favor smaller government.

Secretary of Education will now become "Secretary of Deprogramming" following decades of right wing revisionist history books.

What position do you want?

Make one up.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

112. Goodness my candidacy can't die yet!

[Maddy McCall]

117. You've already received more signatures here

than Nader will--you're on the ballot for November!!

[MurikanDemocrat]

113. How do you respond to the charges about you that

your sister was a thespian, and your brother is a bibliophile.

[Forkboy]

115. Well I'd rather vote for you than Kerry

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

116. me too

[mountainvue]

118. LOL

You forgot to overuse the term "lockstep" in your above campaign post.:)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

121. I always march in lockstep with myself

[Blayde Starrfyre]

120. You $%&*!!!

AHHHHHH!!!!! YOU'VE BEEN BRIBED BY THE REPUBLICANS TO SPOIL THE ELECTION!!!!! YOU LOVE BUSH!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!

</Nader basher impression>

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

122. But if all 300 million of us run, it will totally unseat Bush

Hell even Dick Cheney would rather vote for himself. Ten bucks says he can't even count on Laura, the twins and Barney.