Bush Joke...

[scheming daemons]

Forgive me for lightening the mood... we've got 10 days until Super Tuesday, plenty of time for big issues.

Anyway... here's the joke:


Bush, Einstein and Picasso at the Pearly Gates

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can
you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.

Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.

Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"

Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."

Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk.

Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"

Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove
yours?"

George W. looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"

Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George."

[Langis]

1. LOL thank you

I needed that

[4morewars]

2. Excellent !!!

click, drag, right click, copy !!!

[Feanorcurufinwe]

3. George Bush gets into Heaven?

:wtf:

[scheming daemons]

4. haha... good point n/t

[atre]

5. Yeah, it'd be better with a happy ending

nm

[Virginian]

6. Bush was allowed in?

Alternate Punch Line:

"Lucifer has been expecting you."

"Come on in, George, let me show you to the down elevator."

[Goldom]

7. I have another George/heaven joke

While walking down the street one day, George "Dubya" Bush is shot by a
> disgruntled NRA member. His soul arrives in heaven and he is met by
> St.Peter at the Pearly Gates.
>
> "Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem: We seldom see a Republican around these parts, so we're not sure what to do with you."
>
> "No problem, just let me in; I'm a believer." says Dubya.
>
> "I'd like to just let you in, but I have orders from the Man Himself: He says you have to spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you
must
> choose where you'll live for eternity."
>
> "But, I've already made up my mind; I want to be in Heaven."
>
> I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to an elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell.
>
> The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a lush golf course; the sun is shining in a cloudless sky, the temperature a perfect 72
degrees.
> In the distance is a beautiful clubhouse. Standing in front of it is his dad...and thousands of other Republicans who had helped him out over the years: Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Jerry Falwell.... The whole of the "Right" was there...everyone laughing...happy.... casually but expensively dressed.
> They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at expense of the "suckers and peasants". They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.
>
> The Devil himself comes up to Bush with a frosty drink, "Have a Margarita and relax, Dubya!"
>
> "Uh, I can't drink no more, I took a pledge," says Junior, dejectedly.
>
> "This is Hell, son: you can drink and eat all you want and not worry, and it just gets better from there!" Dubya takes the drink and finds himself liking the Devil, who he thinks is a really very friendly guy who tells funny jokes and pulls hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like a Yale Skull and Bones brother with real horns.
>
> They are having such a great time that, before he realizes it, it's time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves as Bush steps on the elevator and heads upward.
>
> When the elevator door reopens, he is in Heaven again and St. Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit Heaven," the old man says,
opening the gate. So for 24 hours Bush is made to hang out with a bunch of honest, good-natured people who enjoy each other's company, talk about things other than money, and treat each other decently. Not a nasty prank or frat boy joke among them; no fancy country clubs and, while the food tastes great, it's not caviar or lobster. And these people are all poor, he doesn't see anybody he knows, and he isn't even treated like someone special! Worst of all to Dubya, Jesus turns out to be some kind of Jewish hippie with his endless 'peace' and 'do unto others' jive.
>
> "Whoa," he says uncomfortably to himself, "Pat Robertson never prepared me for this!"
>
> The day done, St. Peter returns and says, "Well, then, you've spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Now choose where you want to live for eternity."
>
> With the 'Jeopardy' theme playing softly in the background, Dubya reflects for a minute, then answers: "Well, I would never have thought I'd say this -- I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all -- but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends."
>
> So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell.
>
> The doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren
scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic industrial waste.. kind of like Houston.
>
> He is horrified to see all of his friends, dressed in rags and chained together, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. They are groaning and moaning in pain, faces and hands black with grime. The Devil comes over to Dubya and puts an arm around his shoulder.
>
> I don't understand," stammers a shocked Dubya, "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a clubhouse and we ate lobster and caviar... drank booze. We screwed around and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and everybody looks miserable!"
>
> The Devil looks at him, smiles slyly, and purrs, "Yesterday we were
> campaigning; today you voted for us."

[Mairead]

8. LOL! Great one!

[NV1962]

9. ROFL!

So true.