The Icing On The Hypocritical GOP Cake

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Which pathetic GOP-loving whiner baby wins the icing on the cake award? Hm. Let's see: which male "conservative writer and activist" wants to be Ann Coulter? (For real); is it a beer or a mayoral candidate?; FOX News anchors or porn stars?; which GOPer/union member has a serious "union" problem?; which "I'm Not Gay!" (in black sequins and red stockings) Republican outed himself this week, and what's his worst "lifestyle" choice?; what's the best question to ask "values voters?" All this and more, plus DUers always do it best! Enjoy!

Soviet Or Civil? Let's Ask The Union Man!

What do you get when you ask Fred Thompson where he stands on a particularly relevant type of union? From Queerty via Jossip, the most trusted names in embarrassing news:

Have you heard? Law & Order star (and Republican presidential candidate) Fred Thompson was recently quizzed on civil unions by potential voter Edward Paul. Here's how he fared:

"I'm proud to say that in January 2008 New Hampshire has passed a law facilitating civil unions here," Paul asked. "What is your belief for federal civil unions to be passed?"

"Soviet Union?" Thompson responded.

"No, civil unions," Paul said.

"Oh. No, I would not be in support of that," Thompson said.

Cue the obligatory smart-alecky remark (like "You know the trouble with unions? They're always on strike") from wryly cynical District Attorney Arthur Branch. Oh wait a sec, that used to be Thompson's job.

And don't forget that Thompson's acting career included great union protection and benefits. Gee, I wonder why our news media types didn't jump on this juicy Republican tidbit. Wait! They were too busy NOT covering this juicy Republican election tidbit from WTF Is It Now?:

http://maruthecrankpot.blogspot.com/2007/10/detectives-investigating-gay-republican.html">Detectives investigating gay republican lawmaker

No, the other hypocritical bigot.

State Representative Richard Curtis (R-Ectum) reportedly had consensual sex with another man at a downtown hotel that later led to blackmail. However Curtis says there was no sex and he isn't gay. Now Spokane police are trying to determine if Rep. Curtis did in fact have a gay encounter here that made him a target for extortion.

Investigators are also looking for a still unnamed man who was porking the Republican. The pair reportedly had consensual sex inside the hotel and later Curtis was threatened that the liaison would not remain a secret unless he submitted to the extortion.

The alleged late night encounter is in sharp contrast to Curtis' political persona. Curtis has voted against domestic partnerships for gay couples and opposed a bill that would have outlawed discrimination based on sexual orientation.

Bonus: Curtis, who said that he did not solicit a man for sex and that he is not gay, said that he "got into this mess just trying to help someone out."

Of his pants!
Bwaaaaahahahahahaha!

Just another week, just another "I'm not gay!" elected Republican hypocrite outs himself. And news media crickets chirp. But never fear! Good As You has the blog post headline to beat all other Curtis headlines, as well as the blatant anti-gayness of Curtis' voting record:

'Republicans suck': Becoming less a slam, more a factual statement

Richard Curtis, a GOP state rep in Washington, voted this year against domestic partnerships for gay couples. He also opposed a bill that bans discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. So knowing what we know about this generation's crop of Republican lawmakers, this should come as absolutely no surprise to anyone:

Documents: Southwest Wash. GOP lawmaker had sex with man (Seattle PI)
State lawmaker blackmailed following late night adult bookstore rendezvous (KXLY)

Yes, after days of denials, it has been revealed in newly released police documents that despite his past anti-gay voting record, Rep. Curtis is (or was on at least one occasion) himself into the dude lovin'. Seriously. Another one. A Republican. We're not kidding.

Ironically, the news comes on the exact same day that the Republican National Committee revealed the blueprints for their next HQ:

There's more info in that post, mostly about Curtis' alleged blackmailer. The icing on the hypocrisy cake, though, comes via BlogActive's link to this Tom The Dancing Bug toon:


Finally, Your Right Hand Thief asks "values voters" the best question of the week:

I must ask the GOP values voters who pull the lever for these clowns: why is it that you see the gay ass sex agenda flourishing everywhere, except for when a Republican closet-case is asking for your vote? Especially during wartime, why isn't the potential for blackmail ever a concern for you?

And even if you truly subscribe to all that "family values" nonsense (which always seems to involve sex), shouldn't you be removing the phallus from your own jaundiced eye, before worrying about the speck in your brother's?

So many of you are so poisoned with self-hatred, so suffocated by ideology, so titillated by your own taboos... that the LAST thing you should be doing is monitoring other people's bedroom behavior.

Ready for a laugh? Curtis has now resigned, and GOP leaders claim the fallout will be minimal. Or was that mini mall? You know, those places with lots and lots of public toilet stalls right next to the food court? Wait! Late breaking from Editor & Publisher:

State Legislator Gave Paper False Account Of Sex Incident

NEW YORK A state legislator who denied to The Columbian of Vancouver, Wash., on Monday that he had gay sex with someone he met at a pornography store admitted to police a day later that it had occurred, the Columbian reported.

(snip)

The paper added that the police report "is filled with graphic details of an encounter that began at a porn store...and concluded miles away in Curtis' room at the city's poshest hotel." The paper posted the report on its Web site, with an editor's note that warns: "some content may be offensive to some readers."

The police report states that Curtis allegedly wore women's clothing, red stockings and "a black sequined lingerie top before engaging in a sex act at the store. He continued to wear them throughout the night under his clothing," the paper reported.

Wow! Minimal, my ass, GOP leaders. Yes, we all hate that Curtis has to live a secret life, but he doesn't have to be a Republican legislator voting against gay rights. That, my friends, is a "lifestyle choice." And a very, very bad one at that.

Ready for even more stupidity? How about some hops-laden law hoopla, with a frothing debate? Pop a bottle cap and answer this...

Is It A Beer Or A Mayoral Candidate?

This week's dumbass business marketing move comes from Sam Adams (Boston Beer Company), whose legal eagles sent a cease and desist letter to some Portland radio guys because they gave samadamsformayor.com and mayorsamadams.com to... mayoral candidate, Sam Adams. In true form, readers of the story posted at The Wall Street Journal's Law Blog actually debated the merits of both sides. Typical. Sam Adams, the walking-talking-breathing one, should enjoy the free publicity. The candidate's best rejoinder:

The mayoral candidate hinted at his legal defense: "They say they've been using this trademark since 1984. I've been using it since 1963."

News Anchor Or Porn Star?

Think you can tell the difference? Try Radar Online's 10-question quiz. (Hint: Since I don't know the FOXes from the Chicken Ranchettes, I answered "Porn Star" on all ten and scored 50% correct.)

Why Can't Ugly Betty's Evil Twin Spell?

Poor misguided girl. And she's a card-carrying member of that nasty org, CWA (Concerned Women of America), who's just landed their coveted "Ronald Regan" (sic) Internship. BlogActive invites you to read it for yourself:


Ugly Betty's way, way cuter and much, much smarter. And she already has that certain something this "Regan" girl needs. A heart. The icing on the cake: Republican readers commenting on this post are outraged (outraged, I tell you) that anyone would attack this girl's... spelling skills. Wait'll they get a load of...

Why Won't You Boo Me Like You Boo Ann Coulter?

Poor David Horowitz. He tried everything possible to get booed off the stage at Emory, thus ending Islamo-Fascism Awareness Week with a whimper instead of the bang he wanted. He's so bad, even the Republicans paying his appearance fee wanted their money back. From Crooks and Liars:

I have a message for our college campuses: People like Horowitz and Malkin speak at colleges because they WANT to be booed. Then FOX can run the video over and over all day to play the poor little Conservative victim card.

The idiotic "Islamo-fasicsts" week is pure lunacy, but David craves your disapproval. He uses the canard that he's trying to also make people aware that women are being oppressed in the Middle East too. I'm sure he's a big Feminist...

Watch the video at the link. Horowitz is an attention whore who just wants to make money spewing hate, and the kids treated him like another brick in the wall. Priceless. Sorry, Horowitz. You're no Coulter. But thanks for playing. The icing on the cake: no refund check being cut. By the way, Horowitz, guess who's getting all the attention...

Who Didn't Start The Viral?

In the words of Chance the gardener, "We love to watch." Via The MoJo Blog:

When it comes time to commemorate the pop culture of the '00s, I sincerely hope it doesn't happen via a VH1 "I Love the '90s" clone. I hope it is online, viral, and ADDed to the extreme - in short, I hope it befits this glorious decade.

Maybe it'll look something like this...

If you can identify over 75 percent of the references in that video, you are basically Perez Hilton. If you can identify 50-75 percent, you win a free Nintendo Wii and a case of Sparks. If you can identify 25-50 percent, you need to use YouTube more. If you can identify under 25 percent, you can return to your volume of Elizabeth Barrett Browning poetry and not worry about it.

Here's http://www.motherjones.com/mojoblog/archives/2007/10/5956_skateboarding_d.html">the video link. Hm. I need to use YouTube more. How about you? Let's start with the icing on the "In Your Face, GOP Hypocrites" cake video...

The Gayest Moments In "Daily Show" History?

Now that Comedy Central has opened access to every single nanosecond of Jon Stewart's The Daily Show, Queerty has compiled a great rundown of the gayest moments, aptly called Gaywatch. Watch CNN anchorbimbos let fundie fibbers skate after their outrageous anti-gay child abuse lies. Watch Republican lawmakers try to pass laws demanding the investigation of those who claim not to be gay. Just watch. And Gawd bless Jon Stewart! And while we're praising the icing...

Have You Thanked A DUer Today?

Thanks to bob_weaver for the new freeperism:


And thanks to ShortnFiery for the perfect response to the news of Karen Hughes quitting her job as our US Image Abroad guru:

You got that right! What will all those "little brown people" do ...

without this Christian Soldier to guide them?

IMO, Karen Hughes and Condi Rice are an ideal tag-team of "Anti-Diplomats."

Yes Karen, gather your Bibles and get your flock out of the Middle East a.s.a.p.
AMEN and Thank You Sweet Jesus!

In true form, BurtWorm captions this photo...

"How do you spell 'loser?' L-O...?"

Somewhere, in the bowels of the dark, dank Franklin BushCo Mint cave... minions are surely forging Hughes' Medal of Freedom.

Thanks to Javaman for the visual joke imagery in this reply to a breaking news post on a sex sting:

So a priest, a rotary club prez and a cop go into a bathroom...

And finally, thanks to my BOFF (Best Online Friend Forever), underpants, for this snarky Halloween "I told you so" post:

See I *TOLD* you we need to stop the spread of Japanese pop culture


But Nooooo you didn't want to listen.

Is nothing sacred? Guess not. Especially when it comes to pop culture and marketing to small children and Hello Kitty mania. Thanks again, DUers!

What a week of piling on the Republican icing! Thompson's sugar-coated cornpone "too confused to answer a simple question" crap melted under the light of day, the FOX girls all resemble worn out porn stars (for a reason, of course), and another gay anti-gay GOP legislator disappoints his so-called values voters. Karen Hughes resigns in failure. Again. And David Horowitz wants to be Ann Coulter. And not just for Halloween. Gee, I'd have to pick Horowitz in a black cocktail dress and dark sunglasses for the winner of the icing on the hypocritical GOP cake award this week. Or maybe the guy in black sequins. Decisions. Decisions. What do you think?

-- Delilah Boyd

[NoAmericanTaliban]

1. Lot's of good choices...my vote goes to the Curtis- another wide-stanced Repug

The more anti-gay a repug acts the more likely they are gay themselves. At least he is not a pedophile like a lot of other 'family-values' characters - http://www.armchairsubversive.org/

[Demeter]

2. I Wouldn't Give You A Nickel for the Whole Lot, Even If You Threw In Buch AND Cheney!

In fact, you couldn't offer me enough money to be in the same room with any of them....

[roxnev]

3. All Republicans would kiss a$$

for a dollar. maybe all Republicans are Gay, and won't tell the truth about it, they lie so much, no one can believe what they say.

[Gabi Hayes]

4. I think...

you crack my ass up!

post this in GD, so more people see it.

I read one of your earlier roundups, and in my usual PSD state, forgot about them

thanks for doing this; I'll have to remind myself to keep a headsup.....