The GOP's secret plan to abolish Labor Day is uncovered....

[Polemicist]

A anonymous policy paper, found last June in the men's room of the Minneapolis Airport, details the secret GOP plan to abolish America's Labor Day holiday and replace it with a new celebration of globalization, free trade agreements, and unregulated free enterprise. My sources, hidden deep within the cocktail weenie circuit of our nation's capitol, tell of extensive planning already underway to eliminate Labor Day and replace it with Ronald Wilson Reagan's birthday celebrations.

One of my top sources within the Republican Party, who answers to the code name "Deeply Closeted", explains the logic behind both this move and the timing. He states that "we looked at several holidays, and while many of us would prefer to replace ML King's birthday, we settled on our second choice, elimination of the Socialist and New Deal Communist Labor Day". He continued to explain, "This is a two-fer, a first step toward the eventual deification of St. Ronnie and a way to continue and strengthen the alliance between the Republican Party and Blue Dog Democrats who have worked so well together perpetuating our leader's war in Iraq".

Deeply Closeted added that "American Labor is overrated and won't matter much in the future anyway, as we are well on our way toward exporting all our jobs to China. Plus, this will give communities all over the nation a chance to dedicate statues to President Reagan, name more warships and weapons programs after the former President, and rename streets, federal buildings, and US currency after our greatest former President as well. What better way to put the commie laborists in their place, than to take their holiday away from them and give it to the man who did so much to destroy organized labor in America."

As part of the plan, President Bush will ask Congress to earmark 22 Billion dollars on an educational campaign, to be sure the Fashionistas are aware that the ban on wearing white after Labor Day still applies, but from now on will be known as "can't wear white after Reagan's Birthday".

I hope everyone enjoys their last remaining Labor Day.

[peacetalksforall]

1. K & R. Good find (i.e., good one) !! :o) !!

The truth is under there.

[NYVet]

2. Sarcasm?

I don't see Americans putting up with not having another day to drink beer and watch TV...