‘Couldn’t I please just have cancer and die?’”

[Hepburn]

Cancer survivors angered by Ann Romney’s comments

WASHINGTON (CNN) – The wife of Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney is facing criticism from some cancer patients and survivors for saying in a magazine interview that, rather than continue living with multiple sclerosis, she once wished she could “just have cancer and die.”

Ann Romney, who was diagnosed with the degenerative nerve disease in 1998, said in a recent interview with People magazine, “It wasn’t as though I was suicidal, but I was at the point where I thought, ‘Couldn’t I please just have cancer and die?’”

The comment received an angry reaction from Leroy Sievers, a journalist who has been chronicling his own battle with cancer on National Public Radio.

“Cancer does not bring a quick death. Cancer is painful and debilitating,” said Sievers on his “My Cancer” blog on NPR’s Web site. “Cancer wreaks havoc on the life of anyone who has it and the lives of the people who care about them. Cancer twists the present and steals the future. Cancer hurts.”

More...

http://www.rawstory.com/showoutarticle.php?src=http%3A%2F%2Fpoliticalticker.blogs.cnn.com%2F2007%2F07%2F30%2Fcancer-survivors-angered-by-ann-romneys-comments%2F

I cannot believe that someone would blow off dying of cancer like it was something easy to do.

JMHO

[ruggerson]

I think tons of people with MS and ALS and various

neurological conditions have had exactly those same thoughts.

To rip this woman for being honest about a feeling she had in a moment of despair is truly pathetic.

[still_one]

6. I think it is a stupid statement. Obviously her ignorance is reflected by that statement

What makes her think that a carcinoma would be quick and painless

People can drag on for years with pain and suffering

What I would be interested in is her thoughts on stem cell research

[flamingyouth]

11. Some types of cancer (like bladder cancer, which I have) are chronic.

I'll be dealing with it for my whole life, although it may not ultimately be fatal. I had two surgeries within six months recently. And you're right, it's very painful indeed.

Still, I can cut her a little slack when she said this because she probably wasn't thinking about how this would sound.

[The River]

19. Same Thing Here

4 months since surgery. A few more BCG treatments then who knows.
Good luck

[still_one]

24. I hear you, still I would like to know her position on stem cell research

My argument isn't so much the way it would sound, it is her lack of understanding. None of it is easy.

Incidently, I have a first cousin who has had bladder cancer for over thirty years, I wish you the best

[comtec]

37. But you can FIGHT cancer

we have medicines that allow us to fight it.
Given the choice between MS and cancer, honestly, cancer. I can fight it tooth and nail, and i;ll die KNOWING I could fight it. Long, hard, unbearably painful, but you can FIGHT IT! MS... all you can do it degenerate and die. We have few medicines that work, and nothing can actually STOP MS. There is no real fight, just the knowledge it WILL kill you, robbing you of every joy in life you have.

Both are long, slow, horrible ways to die... But one is just that next circle of hell lower, and worse.

My grandmother has rheumatoid arthritis. She has not been able to walk as long as I've known her (im 32). She has not been able to care for herself at all for nearly 10 years (she used to be able to cook food in the microwave and live assisted in an apartment. Now it's gotten so much worse). I have gout because that kind of arthritis is strong in the force.. er.. in my family.

When you are looking down that barrel of a gun... You choose the relative lesser of two evils. I don't blame her for her sentiments. She has a death sentence. She just wants one she can do something about.

[blondie58]

38. being one that suffers from that insidious disease

It is not the end of the world. What is does to you is takes away your plans for the future and replaces them with uncertainty and fear- if you let it.

A lot of it has to do with your attitude. Now, I must have had a twisted attitude, as I remember thinking "well, I've won the MS lotto- maybe I should buy a regular lotto ticket."

But I also chose to live my life fully. I've always been a person that lives in the present, enjoying the moment in front of me, but now it is even deeper.

I don't want to have any regrets on what I didn't do- or couldn't do if I got worse.

I also remember thinking, thank goodness that if I'm going to have this damn disease, it wasn't ten years ago, as now there is hope. There are now four official approved medications that may alter the course of the disease. It is a crap shoot, to be blunt, you have a small chance of that individual drug working for you and the only way to know is to try it. I had to try three of them before I found one that seemed to work, judged by disease progression and MRI results. The next step would have been a really strong drug- a cancer drug- novatrone which can have some serious side affects, including causing in a small percentage of patients leukemia.

Now, cancer scares me. I have known people who have succumbed to it without any warning and it does cause much pain. But MS really doesn't cause death. According to Patricia McDonald, executive director of the MI MS Society, "less than one percent of the estimated 350,000 people who have the disease in the United States die from it. Fewer than 10 percent die from complications of multiple sclerosis...."


So, as one living with MS, that is my choice- ot that any of us are ever given a choice. ;-)

I am sorry about your grandmother. RA is a nasty autoimmune condition. Sorry if I got a little "preachy" but I wanted to let you know that it is not always a death sentence. It is amazing how strong you can be- when you have to be.

[comtec]

42. It's all good :)

The medicine available now for RA is far stronger than what was available back then.
And you are right about MS not being a killer. Stephen Hawking has it, and he has the most brilliant mind of us all. I just hope something is found to help him improve so maybe he can give a speech in his own voice.

I think the most important thing is to fight. Fight for life every day. Gout, while NOT RA, has taken a fair amount of mindless joy out of life for me. I can't eat without thinking what kind of food it is, and how much colchicine I might need to take. i need to remember to take my alopurinol every day. I need to be careful not to loose weight too fast!!!! (that's the sickest irony). I can't have more than one cup a day of coffee, and even that's too much.

I also know I'm looking own the barrel of RA or at least horrible arthritis when I'm old(er). I need to work, but I do try to enjoy my time off as much as I can. I'm off to Spain for two weeks next week (not the nice bits, but to see my inlaws LOL) which is even more torturous, because they eat a TON of porn in Spain, especially bacon and preserved meats (MAJOR no-no's for gout)

But hey, it's Spain, Nice weather (for someone who lived in Reno for a few years) and no work :)

But back on topic, those who don't have some kind of horrible condition or know someone who does (god are you lucky) be a little kinder when someone has a bad day and says something silly like this. It's the grass is greener concept. From my end, this is the LEAST of the conditions I could have, so I am on the greener grass side :)

[pookieblue]

57. Steven Hawkings has Lou Gehrig's disease not MS N/T

[DemBones DemBones]

71. Right, and the disease is also called ALS,

which is short for amylotrophic lateral sclerosis, but most people still know it as Lou Gehrig's disease. My mother-in-law died from ALS only six months after she was diagnosed. A friend's son-in-law died about a year after diagnosis, in his early thirties. I think it's amazing that Stephen Hawking has lived so long with it. He was diagnosed while still in college.

[DemBones DemBones]

69. People can also go to the doctor because they

just feel a bit run down, be diagnosed with cancer, and die two weeks later. I'm sure that was the sort of cancer Ann Romney referred to. Why would she want to trade years of suffering with MS for years of suffering with cancer? She wouldn't, of course, and all she meant was that she sometimes wished for a quick death.

If she were a Democrat, everyone here would be sympathetic. I suggest that she should be considered as a human being when discussing the fact that she has MS.

Chronic autoimmune diseases cause years of suffering and when the pain is bad enough, everyone wants it to end, even if death is the only thing that will end it. If you've never had that much pain, you can't understand. Pray that you never will.

[rodeodance]

10. yes, I wonder how I would respond-

[aquart]

14. Yeah. My aunt has MS.

She gets a free pass for anything she ever thought or said about it.

[Milo_Bloom]

31. THANK YOU!!

I was really afraid I was going to open this thread and see nothing but a bunch of idiots ragging on her for being honest about horrible feelings.

It gives me hope that some people can beyond politics to the people.

[caledesi]

46. Yep. When I lst knew I had MS, I did not want to live another

day. No active suicidal stuff (pills, etc). Just didn't want to go on. Hey, I get it! Now, 3 years later...I have accepted and adjusted, well, kinda, its those bad days that one just wants to give up.

[bicentennial_baby]

48. Yep

My Dad has MS and my Mom was diagnosed with ALS last week. Thanks for this post.

[renate]

52. I'm sorry

Best of luck to your parents. :hug:

And to you and all your family. :hug:

[roguevalley]

49. personally, wanting your pain all at once instead of on the installment

plan is not a problem to me. My dad had cancer. I know about it personally. SO her remarks don't bother me. It isn't like she isn't ill to start with.

[eyesroll]

I think it's normal for irrational thoughts to pop in one's head after a diagnosis like that.

That said, I wouldn't admit to those thoughts, specifically phrased like that, in a magazine interview.

[BleedingHeartPatriot]

5. The Romneys are ill prepared for the spotlight.

MKJ

[Deja Q]

1. So Ann was ignorant. She could have said any disease and she'd still get flak.

Both diseases are slow and cruel, but what she said was out of depression. I can't think of many other ways to be begging for death.

[Ian David]

2. He COULD just strap her to the roof of the car.

Anyway, I for one plan on someday protesting outside her hospital with a sign that says, "Feed Ann," should that Republick piece of shit ever try and allow her to die with dignity.

[flamingyouth]

3. I shared my thoughts here already.

Again, I'll reiterate that maybe she wasn't having the greatest day due to her own illness, but you'd think she'd be more compassionate toward other people dealing with chronic and terminal illness.

[Xipe Totec]

4. My father died of lung cancer

in my mother's presence, begging the doctor for a gun so he could shoot himself and end his misery.

My father was a brave man who endured much physical pain throughout his life. He nearly died as a teenager, being stabbed in the kidney with an icepick.

But cancer humbled even him.

This is not a death I would wish on anyone.

[still_one]

7. Hey republicans, how about stem cell research? /nt

[Name removed]

8. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[DogandPony]

9. I have been fortunate

Fortunate enough to be healthy. I won't judge anyone who has a disease.

[blondie58]

39. welcome to DU, DogandPony!

[DogandPony]

44. Hey thanks and back at ya!

[rox63]

12. As the wife of a politician running for president, it was a dumb thing to say

But I can understand how someone with a chronic, debilitating disease might wish at times that the suffering of that disease would end.

[Hepburn]

15. I can well understand that...

...but to think that a horrible disease that someone else is suffering from not as bad?? I just don't understand that. My best friend's husband died a year ago last September from lung cancer. I would not wish that death on my worst enemy. It was horrible. So maybe I am a bit touchie about anyone thinking that a death from cancer is an OK way to go.

[1monster]

13. Cancer isn't always slow and painful. Liberal columnist Diane Glass right now is

in hospice care and probably has only days or weeks to live. And yet she was only diagnosed with a rare form of bile duct cancer only weeks ago. (Just googled Diane Glass; she died this morning.)

http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003618222

A teacher in my school district, aged 52, went to see his doctor, was diagnosed with cancer, had surgery, went home, and died two weeks later.

Other cancers do move very slowly and painfully.

MS is a progressive disease that sometimes goes into intermittant remissions. It destroys the protective coating on the nerves and can cause pain, weakness, palsy, paralysis, chronic fatigue, severe vertigo, and many, many other symptoms.

I'm sure that one get very tired of fighting, knowing that all the while the disease will win in the end, leaving you helpless and at the mercy of others before you do die.

[Skittles]

16. passing on trashing her for this

she said something stupid when devastated by being diagnosed with a degnerative disease; I am inclined to give her a break

[BattyDem]

17. I'm no fan of the Romneys, but ...

as someone who has spent years suffering from severe chronic pain, let me tell you something: you get VERY depressed and sometimes you say stupid, irrational things. Of course, no one wants cancer and we all know how horrible the disease can be, but I can't fault her for saying that because I know what it's like to feel that way. Sometimes you just get so discouraged, tired and fed-up that ANYTHING seems better than what you're dealing with. Facing a disease that has a "predictable" outcome can be far more appealing than facing a disease that doesn't. :-(

[DemBones DemBones]

23. Do you get the comment

"But you look so good" from people? (Subtext: how sick can you be?)

My friend who died of lung cancer got the comment, too. We used to whisper it to each other at meetings after people said it to us.

[BattyDem]

25. Oh yeah ... I've heard that comment many times

I also get comments like, "Well, if you're in that much pain, why did you go out to dinner last week?" Apparently, sick people are never supposed to leave their homes. :eyes: They don't understand that for me to go out to dinner for a couple of hours isn't easy. I make plans, but I never know how I'm going to feel until the day arrives and I often cancel at the last minute because I'm in too much pain. If I do feel good when the day arrives, I have to rest and take it easy all day before going out. (I also have other health problems, so I have to hope that they don't flare up when I have plans.)

When I go out, I use a cane for support and I wear a TENS unit (a portable device that sends electrical signals to certain parts of my body to block pain) so I can sit through dinner without being too uncomfortable. During dinner, I have to get up an walk around a few times to relieve the pressure from my spine and hips. When I get home, it's ice packs and pain meds for 24-48 hours - just because I went out for a few hours and had dinner with some friends.

But I look good ... so I guess there's nothing wrong with me.



edited: typo :blush:

[DemBones DemBones]

50. Same for me, I never know how

I'll feel on any given day. I have to reschedule most of my appointments with doctors.

I have 2-4 good days a month, meaning I feel well enough to get dressed and go out. Of course I fix my hair and usually put on make-up. I always pay for going out, though, with lots of fatigue and pain for a week or two afterwards.

Like you, I have to get up and walk around every few minutes if I'm sitting in a wooden chair or just about anywhere except at home, where I have comfortable furniture. It's amazing how many people have uncomfortable furniture! I still belong to several groups that meet in members' homes, though I don't get to attend very often and when I do I have to be one of the early arrivals so I can get a comfortable chair -- some people only have one.

I can't go to a lot of peoples' homes because of their stairs so if I feel good on a day when a meeting is at one of those homes, I can't go. I don't expect them to put in a ramp, of course, but hand rails are a safety feature all steps and stairs should have, especially those that have more than a standard riser height (i.e., their builder didn't follow code.) Not having them is asking for a lawsuit.

People just have no idea what we're dealing with and most don't care to find out.

[BattyDem]

58. Oh, the fatigue is horrible!

Chronic pain - or chronic anything - is EXHAUSTING! Doing simple tasks is an effort. All it takes is one "busy" day and I'm stuck in bed for days! I went to a family BBQ on Saturday. It was a relaxing day for everyone there, but for me, it took a LOT of effort to be there all day long. I ended up spending most of my time in bed for 3-4 days after that. :-(

It's very frustrating and discouraging when most people think there's nothing wrong with you or you're anti-social, lazy, a hypochondriac, etc. I know how you feel. :hug:

[pookieblue]

60. I hear ya on the fatigue

I had a bad case last summer/fall. The fatigue I had was mind numbing. Most of my friends could not/would not understand. and just thought I was being lazy, etc. I had trouble just making it through the day at work. their answer was "just push yourself harder". Though, the thing was, I was having to push myself to make it through work.

They were upset because I didn't have the energy to go hang out with them after work and on weekends.

Had one friend tell me that it was just all in my head. she accused me of being jealous of her and that was the reason why I didn't want to hang out with her.

Turns out that I was having a bad MS Flare. I was luckey though, that I had a couple of good friends who did a lot to help me. bring me dinner, go shopping for me. actually helped me clean my house. and my boss at work was very understanding.

It just hurts to see that lack of support I got from friends I have known forever.

[DemBones DemBones]

63. People think they know what it's like but they don't.

There's a big difference between the fatigue healthy people feel after working hard and the fatigue that people with autoimmune diseases experience regularly and without cause.

My mother always said a person is lucky if they have one real friend in their entire life. Lots of acquaintances, but few friends. It's harder when you're sick, though, because the acquaintances you call "friends" drop you, and often don't believe you're sick.

I don't know why people can't understand that we can't go out often because of our fatigue and pain, that we're not avoiding them. If I were well, I'd see my "friends" once or twice a week, but I'm not well. I'm glad I have one friend who knows I'm sick, not lazy, and not avoiding her when I can't go places. And I'm blessed with a great husband who really meant the "in sickness and in health" part of our vows. He and our daughter are my best friends.

I found out that one "friend" of mine has been telling others about her friend in another state who has lupus and does all sorts of things and therefore I should just push myself harder. As it happens, she's told me about this amazing woman before and I asked some questions and learned that 1) the woman works part-time, setting her own schedule and 2) her lupus has been in remission for 25 years!!!

Hello! My lupus is active. I'd love to be in remission. It would be great.

I still can't believe that this "friend" doesn't get it that active lupus and lupus in remission are not the same at all. :shrug: She's an R.N., too!

[pookieblue]

67. it's good to have that one friend...

who sometimes seems like an angel.

my one friend, had to sit down and "deprogram me". She told me that it wasn't a matter of being lazy. That it was the MS. In fact, she even went to the neuro with me during that time and talked with her about what was going on with me.

she is one who gets it. more so than I do. strange to say, huh? that it took me awhile to learn that the fatigue was real. It was just so hard to wrap my mind around that fact. took me a while to accept it.

[DemBones DemBones]

61. Nobody expects cancer patients to feel energetic but

those of who "only" have autoimmune diseases like MS and lupus destroying our bodies are considered lazy if we can't do what we could before we were sick.

I wonder if they even know that we have autoimmune diseases, or that this means that our immune systems produce antibodies to attack our bodies.

People complain about being allergic to a food or pollen, etc. We are allergic to our own bodies. It would be nice if they would try to imagine that. Pollen seasons end and foods can be avoided. We can't exactly avoid our own bodies!

At least we understand each other, even if others don't. :hug:

[tavalon]

36. Yeah, I think she was expressing the concept that Jesus expressed

when he asked that the cup pass by his lips. It wasn't a diss on cancer, it was a desire to not suffer with the specific and debilitating disease she has.

[DemBones DemBones]

56. Ding! Ding! Ding! You got it, and said it very well.

:toast:

[BattyDem]

59. Exactly!

:toast:

[ripple]

18. She was despondent, as many of us would be

if faced with her diagnosis. I doubt she meant to demean the plight of cancer patients. At the time, death probably seemed preferable to her than the cards she had been dealt.

There is plenty about Romney to make us :scared:, but this isn't an issue for me.

[PurityOfEssence]

20. Let's leave her alone on this one, folks...

Barring a really heinous statement--which this isn't by a long shot--it's wrong to judge until you've limped a mile in her hospital gown...

[DemBones DemBones]

21. Unless YOU have a painful chronic disease, you have no right to judge her.

I have a painful, chronic disease, systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE or lupus) and I understand exactly what she meant; that she sometimes has wished she had a cancer that would take her quickly. Some cancers do that, you know. Some people are dead a month or two after diagnosis. I've had cancer, too, BTW. They say they got it all. We'll see.

My mother, and a friend of mine, each died ten months after being diagnosed with lung cancer, each had a couple of months of pain, and I've already suffered more than ten years of pain. Sometimes the pain makes you think you can't take it any longer. I wouldn't kill myself, either, but I know exactly what Mrs. Romney meant. We're both looking at many hard years ahead. And so are our husbands and children.

A chronic disease is something you have for the rest of your life. My doctor has told me that I could be very sick, requiring nursing care, for a very long time. That's why I can't get long term care insurance while a friend who's had cancer was able to. The insurance company knows she's unlikely to live long if her cancer recurs while I could live a very long time, being very sick, so I'm not a "good risk" for the insurance companies; I might cost them money. My husband worries a lot that he'll die first and I won't have enough money to get proper care.

“Cancer does not bring a quick death. Cancer is painful and debilitating,” said Sievers on his “My Cancer” blog on NPR’s Web site. “Cancer wreaks havoc on the life of anyone who has it and the lives of the people who care about them. Cancer twists the present and steals the future. Cancer hurts.”

Everywhere he said "Cancer," you can plug in MS or lupus or ALS or a number of other chronic diseases and the statements will be true. But Mr. Sievers is obviously all about him and his cancer, and apparently hasn't known anyone with chronic diseases or he wouldn't make such ignorant comments.

It's not a contest. Cancer is bad. MS is bad. SLE is bad. ALS is bad. AIDS is bad. Any of them can kill you. They may not kill you because you may have a heart attack or get hit by a bus first, but they are all killers.

If you can afford it, get long-term care insurance before you're diagnosed with something they'll use as an excuse to turn you down.

[AnotherGreenWorld]

26. well said

[DemBones DemBones]

53. Thank you. I wish more people would understand

what chronic diseases are like. It's easy enough to look them up, read the symptoms, and gain some understanding.

The Lupus Foundation of America (LFA) estimates between 1.5 - 2 million Americans have a form of lupus, but the actual number may be higher. Yet there is little funding for lupus research, compared to other diseases, some of which affect far fewer people but have had better publicity.

I suspect that's because 90% of people with lupus are women, and primarily African-American and Native American women.

There's a bill in the House now, but it hasn't made it out of subcommittee. DUers can help! It won't take but a couple of minutes to do.

The Lupus REACH – Research, Education, Awareness, Communication, and Healthcare – Amendments of 2007 (H.R. 1192), was recently introduced by U.S. Representative Kendrick Meek. This bill will significantly enhance efforts to understand and treat lupus.
The REACH Amendments will increase lupus research, support vital lupus epidemiology studies and data collection, and authorize programs to heighten public and professional awareness of lupus. We need YOU to take immediate action to help this legislation become law. Please go to http://capwiz.com/lfa/issues/alert/?alertid=9533171 to send a letter to your U.S. Representative urging him/her to co-sponsor the Lupus REACH Amendments of 2007. (If you would like you can modify and personalize the letter.)

more at

http://www.lupus.org/webmodules/webarticlesnet/templates/new_empty.aspx?articleid=665&zoneid=99

And here you can find out if your rep has co-sponsored the bill. Mine hasn't and he's an M.D., who's going to hear from me about this! Of course he's a Republican.

http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/z?d110:HR01192:@@@P

[Colobo]

22. I can't criticize the woman for saying such thing. After a diagnosis like that

I would be really depressed and probably would say very awful things. My barber was recently diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease, and to see his quick physical deterioration destroy his spirit is truly awful.

So, let's be compassionate here.

[w4rma]

27. More usual stepford wife ignorance of reality. (nt)

[jgraz]

28. Probably why she's a Rethug

Why have cancer when you can be the cancer?

[tuvor]

29. You've walked a mile in her footsteps, have you?

If so, I'm sorry, and I'd be interested to read some elaboration.

If not, give her a break.

[mcctatas]

30. I posted this in the thread in GD, but here it is again...

when I was diagnosed with MS one of my first thoughts was "Thank God it isn't a brain tumor". I figure MS I can live with and even on my worst days I am grateful that I will be around to see my kids grow up even if I might have to do it from a wheel chair! Ann Romney should be thankful that there are decent medications (developed by scientists who probably believe in evolution) and she has the money to get the best treatments available while many poor people will "...just have cancer and die" because they can't afford even the most basic medical care!

[blondie58]

40. I think that is the key point, mcctatas

It is how you choose to look at things. When I was dx, I remember thinking, "well, I won the MS lotto- maybe I should buy a real lottery ticket."

It just gives you a lot of uncertainty about the future. And I do remember my first neurologist mentioning how many of her patients faced their spouse leaving them, as the man couldn't seem to handle it.

You have to be optimistic- life is always a gift.

"Hope is the personification of spring."

Susan Bichonette

[DemBones DemBones]

68. When you are in terrible pain and the drugs aren't working,

which was the case for me for many hours today, it's pretty damned hard to be optimistic.

Maybe you and mctattas haven't experienced that yet, or the terrible fatigue, or friends abandoning you because you can't do what you used to be able to do.

After I was dxed with lupus, I got back in my car and when I started the engine, Jimmy Buffett was singing,

"Life takes its toll, As we head for the pole, And nobody dies of physical fitness."

I thought that was very appropriate and I have had a good attitude about it, I've been brave and cheerful and true. . . but I have still had a lot of pain and fatigue and developed other autoimmune conditions as well.

It's fine to talk about optimism and hope but when the pain gets bad enough, I doubt there's anyone alive who won't wish for an end, and soon.

Ann Romney is a Republican I will defend because I understand her pain.

[Hippo_Tron]

32. Maybe she ought to persuade her husband to support Stem Cell Research

[Maraya1969]

33. I wouldn't be too hard on her. She might have believed at the time

that cancer would be an easier death. I'm sure she did not set out to hurt anyone by what she said. Sometimes cancer patients die within a few months. And I have seen the slow degeneration of MS patients. They lose the ability to move and can languish in a wheelchair for years.

There is really no empirical way to judge what type of death is easier. She was probably just despondent over her situation. I would be.

[Indy_Dem_Defender]

34. I think it's silly to rag on her about it

It was an ill informed ignorant comment, made because a lot of people (including her) associate cancer more as a clear path to death then survival.

[tavalon]

35. That wasn't what she was expressing at all

Anyone who deals with having a debilitating chronic disease has had thoughts that they might rather a swift death. I'm no great fan of Ann Romney or her asinine husband but I'll not rip on her for this one.

[Vinca]

41. I agree with you. Add to that the fact everyone says something

dumb at some point. The Hillary Clinton "baking cookies and standing by her man" comment, for example. It's a distraction not worth dwelling on.

[Marrah_G]

43. As much as I despise the Romneys, I just can't get upset by this

People with debilitating disease say lots of things they don't really mean. I'll cut her some slack on this one.

[pookieblue]

45. as much as I don't like her husband...

I'm not going to rag her on this.

I know how she i feeling...because I have been there. In fact, I have said the same thing. Not to a reporter mind you. But sitting on my bathroom floor in tears. The pain from the spasicty was so bad, that it was actually hard to breathe. Those w/MS has heard or has had the MS Hug.

Was is a stupid things to say... you bet. But it was how she was feeling at the time. Don't knock her on that.

I had some of my less supportive friends tell me that it wasn't that bad...that MS wasn't that serious. and oh yeah, that my doctors were wrong about the fact that I have some cognitive issues due to the MS. So I really wasn't at one point getting a lot of support. Except from a few of my freinds. One has epilepsy and another was a cancer survivor.

but I do have to deal with depression now. It was really bad at one point. so bad, that I finally had to go off the Rebif.

I'm hoping that the copaxone works for me. because if not...I have no other choices, then I can't go back to the interferons.


Anyhow, don't know her for what she said. as I said, it was stupid yes. But she wasn't saying it to be mean. and she wasn't doing a Barbara Bush either. She was being honest about how she sometimes feels living with MS.

[pookieblue]

47. from the actual people interview

"was a lot of education we had to absorb about the disease. When he really helped me was when I was going through this really depressed period where I felt like I was 80 years old, there was nothing I could ever do again and life was over for me. I was of no use to anybody. It wasn't as though I was suicidal, but I was at the point where I thought, Couldn't I please just have cancer and die? "

there so there you have it. she was telling about how she was feeling when she was at low point with her MS.


http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20047924_2,00.html

[TankLV]

51. Fucking clueless UNCARING repuke...

I am not surprised...

[Like It Is]

54. What a piece of absolute dog crap you are! n/t

[DemBones DemBones]

55. YOU are the one who's clueless & uncaring. Read my post #21 and

learn more about chronic painful disease from someone who has one.

I saw my mother and a friend die from cancer and have had cancer myself, but I've suffered more than ten years of pain from lupus, and I understand what Mrs. Romney meant.

Many cancer patients die quickly -- and many of them wish for death when the pain is bad. She was just expressing the fear of years and years of pain ahead. People in real pain want it to end.

[Irishonly]

62. She's an Idiot

Cancer hurts. Her stupidity ranks up there with the fool that told me it was a good thing I had breast cancer because it was easy to cure. My tumor was resting on my chest wall and I had months of chemo before having surgery.

[DemBones DemBones]

64. MS hurts, too, as do all chronic autoimmune diseases.

Read my post 21, please, and get some perspective.

[Irishonly]

65. I Do Have Several Chronic Conditions

My perspective is just fine, thank you. I didn't have any of them before the cancer.

[pookieblue]

66. she was speaking about a time....

she was going through a deep depression and how she felt at the time when she was first diagnosed. the interview in people magazine gives the whole quote.

I would like to believe that most people know that we don't always think and speak rationaly.

cut her some slack. I remember having thoughts like this, when I was going through a rough period. as I said, there was a time, where I was sitting on my bathroom floor crying, begging god to take me.

It's a human emotion.

she was in no way saying this is how she feels now.

I'm thankful that she was honest enough to share this, since it seems like mainstream socity think and acts like Depression is something to be ashamed of and hide.

Perhaps her comments will help others to open up and speak to their doctors/friends/family about how they are really feeling. They will seek help. no one should have to fight this alone. and no one should be made to feel ashamed for how they are feeling. sometimes living with an illness like Cancer, ALS, MS, Lupus...etc... can be overwhelming..and it's worse when one feels like they are having to deal with this on their own.

[DemBones DemBones]

70. Very well said. Anyone who has cancer or any chronic disease

should be glad she spoke out like that. Any time that a well-known person speaks out about an illness, people learn from that. Happy Rockefeller and Betty Ford spoke out about breast cancer when it was a topic never discussed in public. Betty Ford later spoke out about her struggle with alcoholism. Mike Wallace and Art Buchwald and others have spoken out about depression. Brooke Shields has spoken out about post-partum depression.

What Ann Romney said will draw attention to MS, and may encourage others to speak out and campaign for more funding for research. Lupus and MS are given only small slivers of the federal research money pie and I have to think it's because they primarily affect women. If you're female, you have a risk of developing them, just as you have a risk of developing breast cancer. Males can also develop Lupus, MS, or breast cancer so they concern all of us.

[Irishonly]

76. Believe It Or Not I Understood What She Was Saying

I understand the feeling of wishing you could just stop hurting and the depression of seeing yourself not being able to do the things you used to not think a thing about doing.

I have seen too many people die from cancer and it's not a peaceful death. My breast buddy group has been asked by children why we got to live and their mom didn't. I can't explain it to them because statically I shouldn't be here.

I do apologize if I offended you. I almost died twice while in cancer treatment and I fought with everything I had to beat it back. As I said I suffer from several chronic conditions and believe me I understand the sense of hopelessness and the fatigue of fighting pain all of us have. I have just seen too much suffering from cancer.

[mhatrw]

72. Do not go there.

What's next, channeling Anne Coulter?

[pookieblue]

73. found this interesting

<snip>
Multiple sclerosis is not a fatal disease. Some data suggest that it shortens the average life span by only about 6 or 7 years. Still, in about half of MS cases, patients die of complications of the disease, and the disease has significant negative emotional and physical consequences. Suicide rates among patients with MS are higher than average. <snip>


<snip> Depression
Between 40 - 60% of patients suffer from depression at some point over the course of the illness, and studies have reported risks for suicide ranging from 3 - 15%.

There is some evidence that depression in multiple sclerosis is not only due to the social and psychologic impact of MS but to the disease process itself.
Depression may have biologic effects, such as increasing production of inflammatory cytokines, that could exacerbate the disease itself. Doctors should assess patients for depression, even if there are no obvious signs of it. The risk for suicide may be present even in patients who are not obviously depressed.
People at highest risk for suicide are those who live alone, those with a history of an emotional disorder (depression, anxiety, alcohol abuse), a family history of mental illness, and people with high social stress. <snip>

http://www.umm.edu/patiented/articles/how_serious_multiple_sclerosis_000017_6.htm


as it was said, in the actual interview, she said she was going through a very dark period when she first made that comment. she was open to what she was feeling at the time, when she was having a lot of trouble with the MS.

Don't knock her for saying that. Considering that the suicide risk is high for those MS. As well as Depressin is common amongst those with MS. (some times, the depression as is stated comes from the disease process itself). I think by her opening up about what she went through can only help those who are going through or feeling the same things now.

One should not be ashamed of being depressed. too often people are made to feel that they are weak. they are told "To snap out of it".

Well sometimes, it's just not that easy.

I will say again, my doctors saved my life. I was also going through a very dark period. I had wanted to die.

I finally opened up to my doctors. We did some tests, as it turns out that one of the MS meds that I was on (Rebif) has Depression has a side effect. If I had not opened up and talked to my doctors. We would not have done some tests. I would have stayed on Rebif. and there is no telling where I would be know.

So, don't knock her for being honest. knocking her, is also knocking me...because there were times, I was actually crying to god to please let me die. that I would have rather have a fatal disease then to live like I was.

Looking back, I was very depressed. I still have to deal with it, even though I'm off the medicines. The MS itself has done some damage to my brain. I have some cognitive issues. I know though, I'm lucky. I just look stupid. people only treat me like I'm stupid. but it could be worse, at least it's not so bad, that I can't hold down a job and take care of myself.

[Mass]

74. Your lack of compassion is appalling - She obviously said that out of depression,

but you cannot even understand that.

I have known people dying of both diseases, and I know how difficult it can be for the patients and the families. Ann Romney seems to be in remission for now, good for her. As much as her husband was a lousy governor, I hope she stays like that for a very long time.

[mrgorth]

75. I suffered from depression

while going through my divorce and I wished cancer (or some other terminal illness) on myself many times. Hell, I'm not sure I still don't wish it. Lots of people feel this way all the time. Get over it.

note: I've lost many people to cancer. This isn't about that.