Another Christian preacher guilty of a felony and it doesn't involve sex or little boys

[BOSSHOG]

A Marrero, Louisiana Man (Pastor at Temple Church of Christ) pled guilty to stealing 13 thousands dollars from a Federal Credit Union ATM machine which was malfunctioning due to damage by Katrina. He faces up to 10 years in jail.

http://www.wwltv.com/local/stories/wwl050307khpastorbusted.324608bc.html

The good preacher spent the money in Louisiana and Mississippi. It doesn't say on what, but based on the plea I'm sure it wasn't for charitable purposes.

One can only sit back and marvel at CHRISTIAN CONSERVATIVE VALUES. I'll say this for the Rev, at least he wasn't fucking little boys (that we know of.)

[Ian David]

1. He struck the ATM Machine with his shepherd's staff and yay, money did verily gush forth.

And it was good.

And he did feast upon the lamb, and wheat and fruitbats and did go forth and purchase a shiny new Ford Expedition.

And The Lord said it was good.

[KansDem]

5. The Lord helps those who help themselves...

And having access to a malfunctioning ATM machine is very helpful, indeed.

[Parche]

2. Pastor

"He who flatulates in church, sits in own 'pew'"
Reverend Hal E. Lewya

----------------
The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.

One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.

The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"

Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the assistant pastor.

After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.

The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service."

-------------

A Christian man had just died and was on his way to heaven. When he got to the gates of heaven he met an angel. The angel asked him what God's name was.

'Oh that's easy,' the man replied, 'His name is Andy.'

'What make you think his name is Andy?' the angel asked incredulously.

'Well, you see at Church we used to sing this song 'Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me.'
--------------
A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.

'Come with me', said St. Peter to the taxi driver.

The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an olympic size pool.

'Wow, thank you', said the taxi driver.

Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.

'Wait, I think you are a little mixed up', said the priest. 'Shouldn't I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God's word.'

'Yes, that's true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.'
--------------

[rkc3]

3. It was a beautiful Sunday morning in rural America.

The congregation was enjoying the sermon, the gentle breeze flowing through the open church windows, and the chorus of songbirds in the Tulip trees outside.

Suddenly, the rear doors of the church were blown open and black smoke billowed into the church. Satan showed up to disrupt the morning service. The entire congregation save the minister and one aged gentleman ran screaming from the church.

Satan was aghast. He yelled to the minister saying, "You show great courage in the house of your lord." He saved the most wrath for the old man.

"Who are you to sit quietly in my presence while others run in terror of me?"

To which the old man quietly replied, "Don't you recognize me? I've been married to your sister for 48 years."

[louis-t]

4. Haaaa!

:rofl: