Here's One Piece of Legislation that I support Kerry On.....

[slinkerwink]

We can be very proud if he's the Dem nominee. He's an example of his service to America...

S.2382

Title: A bill to provide for the liquidation or reliquidation of certain entries of tomato sauce preparation.

Sponsor: Sen Kerry, John F. (introduced 4/29/2002)

Cosponsors: (none)

Latest Major Action: 4/29/2002 Referred to Senate committee. Status: Read twice and referred to the Committee on Finance.


http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/D?d1...d107query.html|

It's very important to preserve the products of the Heinz company, I'm sure......go Kerry!

[helleborient]

1. Ooooo...you play hardball! hehe (n/t)

[slinkerwink]

2. I know......ketchup is important for America's economy!

but I really like barbecue sauce for my french fries. Oh, did I mention that I make my own barbecue sauce and ketchup? ;-)

[LuminousX]

I prefer ranch dressing...

which I do not make myself.

Making your own ketchup...? I never thought about it. It is probably cheaper.

[MoonAndSun]

8. My favorite dipping sauce for my fries is blue cheese dressing...

but ketchup comes in a close 2nd!! :silly:

[Mass_Liberal]

3. oooooooooo!!!

low blow. Agh. Hehehehehe. Good one, though.

[BurtWorm]

4. S.2382

Sounds important. I wonder where Kucinich stands on this issue.

[booniapolis]

27. nice one....

n/t

[NewYorkerfromMass]

5. good start

[janx]

6. Slinkster, you're so funny!

Where did you find that? B-)

[redqueen]

7. *sigh*

why?

[HFishbine]

9. Reliquidation?

What the hell is that?

[BurtWorm]

11. Maybe it's to finally make it legal to pour water into ketchup bottles

to make the sauce last longer.

[HFishbine]

20. Ah ha!

That must be it. Waitresses across the country would no longer be scawflaws.

[BurtWorm]

21. It wouldn't be to make that illegal, do you think?

To keep people from buying fresh bottles of Hein--er, ketchup?

Nah! Kerry is a progressive. He had to have had the little people in mind.

[HFishbine]

26. Hmmm

The link in the original post is broken. I'd like to see the bill to find out.

[HFishbine]

31. I think I understand now

(Thanks to Dave29).

It looks like the law requires that one may add water to a ketchup bottle only after making a request with the Customs Service.

(b) REQUESTS- Reliquidation may be made under subsection (a) with respect to an entry described in subsection (d) only if a request therefor is filed with the Customs Service within 90 days after the date of enactment of this Act and the request contains sufficient information to enable the Customs Service to locate the entry or reconstruct the entry if it cannot be located and to confirm that the entry consists of tomato sauce preparations properly classifiable under subheading 2103.90.60 of the Harmonized Tariff Schedule of the United States.

[slinkerwink]

12. I don't know---I thought ketchup was already a liquid form anyway

;-)

[BurtWorm]

13. At certain diners in New York it is!

:hi:

[eileen_d]

10. At least you're doing research on all the candidates. n/t

[slinkerwink]

14. yes, and it's very heartening how Kerry has his wife's interests at heart

[Ficus]

15. wow this is relevant

to nothing I can think of.

[BurtWorm]

16. Doesn't it show Kerry's heroic courage to stand up for manufacturers

of ketchup? Teresa Heinz Kerry must be very proud! ;)

[slinkerwink]

17. I'll turn on the "Star-Spangled Banner" for our Kerry......

what heroic courage indeed!

[BurtWorm]

18. Hurrah for the tomato-red, white and blue!

I'm all ferklempt... :cry:

[slinkerwink]

19. I'm hearing the squashing sounds of tomatoes everywhere

being pulverized into tomato sauce to be consumed by the mass American population.....

[aldian159]

29. Ok, lady, you proved you point.

Pork legislation, it happens.

Congrats for finding some. Isn't that difficult. Now move on with you life and do something productive instead of bashing someone you loathe while still hanging on to the sinking ship that is Howie Dean.

I respect Dean, but not when people like you support him.

Have a nice day.

[BurtWorm]

34. If you can't laugh at your front runner,

I don't want to be a part of the revolution. :evilfrown:

[aldian159]

35. I can laugh, but not when this stupidity

is rehashed and rehashed.

I guess I should be thanking Jesus there was no Skull and Bones references in this post...wait, oh damnit!

Sorry, thanks for bringing me back down to earth.

[BurtWorm]

36. Just be grateful this thread is keeping us bad ol' Deanies

off the street. ;)

[Ficus]

22. I guess I don't know enough about the industry

of tomato sauce manufacturers to judge them a good or bad "special interest." Is anyone surprised, even Kerry supporters?

[slinkerwink]

23. well, Kerry's wife owns the Heinz ketchup factory

[Ficus]

25. are you sure

I don't think she does. I think Heinz was sold off a while back to another company. Not saying she doesn't hold stock, but she doesn't own the company.

[dave29]

24. which is why one wonders

why Kerry was wasting his time on it.

[dave29]

28. Text of Bill

SECTION 1. LIQUIDATION OR RELIQUIDATION OF CERTAIN TOMATO SAUCE PREPARATION ENTERED IN SEPTEMBER 18, 1993 THROUGH JULY 25, 1994.

(a) IN GENERAL- Notwithstanding section 514 of the Tariff Act of 1930 (19 U.S.C. 1514) or any other provision of law and subject to the provisions of subsection (b), the United States Customs Service shall, not later than 180 days after the receipt of the request described in subsection (b), liquidate or reliquidate each entry described in subsection (d) containing any merchandise which, at the time of the original liquidation, was classified under subheading 2002.10.00 of the Harmonized Tariff Schedule of the United States (relating to tomatoes, prepared or preserved) at the rate of duty that would have been applicable to such merchandise if the merchandise had been liquidated or reliquidated under subheading 2103.90.60 of the Harmonized Tariff Schedule of the United States (relating to tomato sauce preparation) on the date of entry.

(b) REQUESTS- Reliquidation may be made under subsection (a) with respect to an entry described in subsection (d) only if a request therefor is filed with the Customs Service within 90 days after the date of enactment of this Act and the request contains sufficient information to enable the Customs Service to locate the entry or reconstruct the entry if it cannot be located and to confirm that the entry consists of tomato sauce preparations properly classifiable under subheading 2103.90.60 of the Harmonized Tariff Schedule of the United States.

(c) PAYMENT OF AMOUNTS OWED- Any amounts owed by the United States pursuant to the liquidation or reliquidation of an entry under subsection (a) shall be paid not later than 180 days after the date of such liquidation or reliquidation.

(d) AFFECTED ENTRIES- The entries referred to in subsection (a) are as follows:
----------------------------
Entry number Date of entry
----------------------------
084-0538041-4 09-18-93
084-0538311-1 10-17-93
084-0538312-9 10-17-93
084-0538314-5 10-17-93
084-0538345-9 10-23-93
084-0538346-7 10-23-93
084-0538347-5 10-23-93
084-0538628-8 11-06-93
084-0538797-1 11-27-93
084-0538798-9 11-27-93
084-0538800-3 12-05-93
084-0538801-1 11-27-93
084-0538818-5 12-05-93
084-0538979-5 12-11-93
084-0539185-8 01-02-94
084-0539310-2 01-16-94
084-0539554-5 02-06-94
084-0539555-2 02-06-94
084-0539556-0 02-06-94
084-0539557-8 02-06-94
084-0539599-0 02-11-94
084-0539600-6 02-11-94
084-0539664-2 02-22-94
084-0539665-9 02-22-94
084-0539666-7 02-22-94
084-0539791-3 03-06-94
084-0539793-9 03-06-94
084-0539794-7 03-06-94
084-0539876-2 03-13-94
084-0540033-7 03-27-94
084-0540034-5 03-28-94
084-0540142-6 04-11-94
084-0540143-4 04-11-94
084-0540144-2 04-11-94
084-0540145-9 04-11-94
084-0540224-2 04-17-94
084-0540368-7 05-01-94
084-0540369-5 05-01-94
084-0540370-3 05-01-94
084-0540372-9 05-01-94
084-0540737-3 06-05-94
084-0540966-8 06-26-94
084-0541257-1 07-25-94
084-0541258-9 07-25-94

Yeah. I understood that.

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[killbotfactory]

32. Very impressive. Does Kerry say to-MAY-to or to-MAH-to?

While voting to eliminate most of our modern warfare capability we now rely on, Kerry was very hard at work preserving the freedom of tomato sauce manufacturers.

[chiburb]

33. OH, NO, IT'S THE ILLUMINATI!

From the Straight Dope:

Dear Cecil:
Thank you for the leg work. In case you're not aware, you've uncovered another Illuminati agent in Henry J. Heinz. Let me expand briefly. The Illuminati are an extremely secret sect, and have been among mankind practically from the beginning, originating, it is believed, in the Lost Continent, Atlantis. Being a secret, powerful, occult sect, the Illuminati gathered great mystical power from their use of the number 5. Five is an extremely strong number, still used in the worship of Satan, the power of our military, the logic of our digits, the points of our extremities, our senses, and a great many other things rooted in our collective psyche. Also important, and perhaps more powerful, is the combination of the numbers 2 and 3, equalling 5, of course. Two is the symbol for symmetry, and three, the divinity and others. It is a blatant game that the Illuminati are extremely fond of, flaunting their symbols to each other--the more bizarre the better, the more flagrant the waste of money, the better yet. Keeping this in mind, think again of the giant pickles, the man whose "mysterious" number is 57. (Remember, 7 is simply the repeating 2 + 3 cycle, i.e., 2 + 3 = 5 + 2 = 7 + 3 = 10 or 5 x 2.) Now observe the phone number--237-5757. Ergo, buying Heinz products finances the Illuminati. --Daniel K., Baltimore

P.S.: Notice how many letters in his first and last names.

Cecil replies:

Very shrewd, Dan, and just the sort of thing we expect from the sly inhabitants of your native city. I should point out, by way of amplification, that by using the digits 2 and 3 in appropriate combinations you can generate every integer (including 1, if you allow subtraction). Thus we learn that the very foundations of mathematics are mortally infected with Illuminism. Man, those guys are everywhere.

--CECIL ADAMS

http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_195

[Moderator]

37. Locking.....

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