I just heard some great new!!!

[Bucky]

The four ministers tending to Ted Haggard have cured his gay!

Haggard Pronounced ‘Completely Heterosexual’

One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is "completely heterosexual."

Haggard also said his sexual contact with men was limited to the former male prostitute who came forward with sexual allegations, the Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur told The Denver Post for a story in Tuesday's edition.

"He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."

Ralph said the board spoke with people close to Haggard while investigating his claim that his only extramarital sexual contact happened with Mike Jones. The board found no evidence to the contrary.

"If we're going to be proved wrong, somebody else is going to come forward, and that usually happens really quickly," he said. "We're into this thing over 90 days and it hasn't happened."

[Skittles]

1. what's the cure for sanctimonious religious pricks?

that's what I want to know :o

[orleans]

5. lol. n/t

[illinoisprogressive]

2. It's a Miracle I tell ya!

[Syrinx]

3. he's registered at Home Depot

I'm sending him a power tool of my choice.

[anitar1]

4. he has had a "laying on of hands", obviously.

Sorry, I couldn't resist it.

[Faux pas]

6. Just like Alan Shore said on Boston Legal tonight,

If homosexuality was a disease, the drug companies would have made a cure for it a long time ago.

[Tellurian]

21. yes, the ssads condition..

hahaha! James Spader is excellent. The soap box prop was priceless.
All the better, Spader is a Bostonian. My favorite tv show!

Denny Crane (R) cracks me right up.

[Faux pas]

23. It is my favorite show! I love the way the writers stick it to the

'right' every week. Sometimes it's subtle, last night it was in your face. Long live Boston Legal!

[Kiouni]

7. How is this newsworthy

I saw this on every news outlet. who gives a shit.

[Prophet 451]

8. You couldn't make this shit up

More and more, reality resembles an Onion headline.

[Evergreen Emerald]

18. That is true!!!

It is through the looking glass scary.

[NV1962]

9. Hallelujah, pass the K-Y! (n/t)

[133724]

10. This was Prophesied on DU last year...

sorry I don't have the link...

But some one among us is a Prophet of Biblical proportions!!!

[donheld]

11. I can't cure my cough in 3 weeks, but

he can cure his "gayness" in three weeks. Who do they think they are fooling? The bible beaters may be fooled, they're always fooled. I'm gay and tried just about every cure known to exist. It just doesn't work. May as well try to cure a zebra of his affliction of stripes.

[MADem]

12. So, as some wag said on late nite TV, from now on, he will only sleep with

"completely heterosexual" men!

[Dogmudgeon]

13. Good news for the gays, I suppose

They have enough problems with homophobia and whatnot. They don't need a Fundy drama queen to add to their hassles.

--p!

[EST]

15. Is ubuntu a "linux on a cd" self contained rascal?

I am wanting to do a linux distro and don't know which. I already do a dvorak keyboard, just moved the keys around and used the dvorak keyboard option in windows.

[dweller]

17. lol!

i must be punchy at 5am...

do the dvorak!
dp

[Dogmudgeon]

24. It's a real Ubuntu system, "Dapper Duck" I think

The Dvorak integration in Ubuntu Linux is much smoother than in Windows. It's also much easier to redefine keys.

The keys on my keyboard are glued on, so I had to make my own stick-ons. I think it's been worth it. I've only been using DSK for five days and I'm already back to 50% of my speed on Sholes (QWERTY). Since I was used to typing at 60 WPM, there's been a formidable sense of "oh my gawd suppose my brain can't make the changeover ..."

Linux is also more responsive than Windows, at least on my old machine -- I'm running a 0.9 GHz Pentium 3 "Coppermine" processor and it absolutely drags on WinXP.

The "live distro" ("a 'linux on a cd' self contained rascal") is a good way to start. You just have to pay a little extra attention to saving files so you don't lose them. The easiest way is to reinstall your hard disks in those little drawers so you can swap operating systems. Then get a new or spare hard disk and install Linux on it. It's not a lot of work and makes life much easier.

Avoid, if you can, a "dual boot install", where you have both OSes on one hard disk. It often destroys the Master Boot Record (MBR), which can leave you with a useless computer. So make sure to make a copy of the MBR. Nay, make THREE, keep them on DIFFERENT floppies, and keep the floppies in different rooms in case a stray cosmic ray gets through the walls. You should do this anyway in case you encounter a virus that toys with the MBR (or kills it outright). There are many MBR free utilities for Windows and the different Linuces. WinXP has an MBR backup program built in, too, but you have to run it manually, so do it right away.

So therefore, unless you've already done it, spend a couple days reading up on Linux installation. Collect a bunch of URLs you like. There's also a Linux forum here at DU where you can ask questions.

Irre Ngjt! ("Good Luck!" in Sholes.)

--p!

[EST]

14. I don't think anyone questioned his "heterosexuality,"

just about his being a sanctimonious, hypocricical peter puffer and a drug addict on one of the meanest drugs on the market.
I really don't think he needed to be "cured" from anything except his personality flaws, his inability to tell the truth and his self loathing that seems to boil over into a loathing for others and creates problems for them, not just for him.

[Vickers]

16. omg!!!!!!!

Praze Jayzus!!!

[cooolandrew]

19. OH R EALLY, does he take us for Republicans or something.

Haggard needs to go away disappear biggest fraud out there.

[tinfoilinfor2005]

20. "If we're going to be proved wrong, somebody else...will come forward."

So, I don't get this. You can have sex with one male prostitute and remain straight, but were twenty more to show up, it might constitute a problem?

This wasn't a one time event...like a high school sleep-over that ended in experimentation.

Mr. Haggard now needs to be honest with himself and his family. And he needs to remove himself from that PR group that label themselves as "four ministers".

[npincus]

22. they hosed him down with Gay-B-Gone?