The George W. Bush Presidential Library -- Gift Shop Items!!

[MethuenProgressive]

Wondering what's going to be sold in the gift shop?

G.W.B. shot glasses
Air Force One toy airplane (flies to undisclosed location after loud noises)
Andy Card autographed copies of My Pet Goat
Dick Cheney model shotguns
Saddam and Rumsfeld autographed photo (hurry, limited time offer)
Mission Acomplished Leather Flight Jackets
Condi Rice dolls - in both retro chubbi and fashion anorexi
Laura Bush crash-and-go toy cars
The Find the WMDs party game (WMDs not included)
Henry Kissenger youth tonic (smells like Napalm)
"New England WASP to Texas Drawl in 7 days" Berlitz tapes

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. These are priceless!

:rofl: :rofl:

[MethuenProgressive]

3. Forgot to add they're all free! (They just bill your grandchildren!)

:evilgrin:

[Captain Hilts]

2. Dunce Caps? nt

[TXDemGal]

4. It will be a "library," right?

Then Eric Carle's "The Very Hungry Caterpillar."

[Captain Hilts]

5. No, it will be a 'libary'. nt

[teriyaki jones]

6. No, it's LIBERRY

Where'd YOU lern how to spelle?

[xxqqqzme]

11. Actually, it's spelled

LIE-berry.

[zulchzulu]

7. Presidential Daily Briefing on August 6, 2001

Bin Laden Determined To Strike in US

[zulchzulu]

8. Yale and Andover cheerleading outfits

[Fire Walk With Me]

46. Don't be fooled- that funnel is full of gin.

Sip sip sip.

[marmar]

9. Rolling papers autographed by Jenna Bush....

Copies of "Known Unknowns" (in paperback and hardcover) by Donald Rumsfeld.

[TXDemGal]

10. George W. Bush Commemorative Crack Pipe n/t

n/t

[zulchzulu]

12. How about the biggest part of the LIEbrary: The Ego Room

It would be a very large room with a humongous 3D holographic laser show of Bush's head and he laughs awkwardly.

Don't forget that the Bush laugh would be throughout the building triggered by opening doors. There would be huge fans in the toilets giving the illusion that a certain someone's shit doesn't stink.

[Sal Minella]

13. Karl Rove punching bags???

[troubleinwinter]

14. Souvenir Presidential Coke Spoons:

[wtmusic]

15. Framed, autographed DWI nt

[WritersBlock]

16. Don't forget the Heckuva Job Re-Wind History Remote Control Chamber

Handy for those trips back into time in attempt to change what history records about the heckuva job you've done during your squattage in the Oval Office!


Sooooo useful for:

1) erasing any instance of of having ignored warnings prior to the 9/11 attacks, which you can then blame on the Clinton Adminstration

2) shifting accountability for instigating an illegal war with contrived "evidence" so you could massage your pathetic little ego by doing something Daddy couldn't do, AND please your neocon masters at the same time (Such a proud moment when you got to dress up like a real (as in non-AWOL) soldier that day on the nice pointy boat - what a big little man that must have made you feel like! We could tell by the codpiece - but didn't those straps pinch? No, nevermind, I suppose they wouldn't have....)

But since "the Democrats saw the same intelligence" on your little war, you can blame it all on them now that it's become the biggest foreign relations disaster we've ever had, thanks to those pesky cilivians who keep walking in front of bullets and living in houses situated too close to booby-trapped cars. Not to mention all those real soldiers you've managed to kill - and keep killing.

This one's got extra flashing lights and sound effects on it since the voters kicked your slimey little ass and put the Democrats back in Congressional majority during your insane-lame-duck years - what an extra golden opportunity for you to try to slither out of all responsibility for any chaos post Nov 7, 2006 - (Here's your script - start practicing now because there are three whole words to memorize, and you have to be able to say them all more than once: "The Democrat Congress... the Democrat Congress.") (You can do it; yes you can!)

3) New Orleans? Hell, you never knew it was there anyway, so why bother? You were probably too damned stoned to see it during those "good times" you had there.... and there wasn't much of it left to see after your little celebrity jam session anyway. Really not worth spending any time or attention on at all, is it? (And besides, they're really so much better off now - Mommy's always right, isn't she?)

Yes, a heckuva job indeed!



(Edited because the first version wasn't dripping with quite enough sarcasm for this time of morning)

[eleny]

17. K&R!

[Contrary1]

18. Laura Bush Emergency Face Lift Lotion

[DearAbby]

19. Special tribute to those who believed in him....

[gr8dane_daddy]

20. What about the Congressional Metal of Honor...

seems just about anyone can get it.

[AnneD]

25. Not the Congressional Medal of Honour

but Presidential Freedom Medal. THe Medal of Honour is awarded for heroism on the battlefield and we know he never made it to a battle field.

[calimary]

21. Copies of the DVD "Girls Gone Wild - The White House Edition"

How 'bout the game room - where you can get the home version of "White House Twister" - in which every colored circle contains another excuse or lie about Iraq. By the time you're finished, they give you a lovely parting gift of a bag of pretzels, in honor of the shape you put yourself in while playing the game.

[Clark2008]

23. You forgot the warning:

CHOKING HAZARD TO SMALL CHILDREN AND 43RD PRESIDENTS.

[Gregorian]

33. Presidential Pretzels. NOW IN EXTRA LARGE NON-CHOKING SIZE.

I better step away from the computer or I'll never start my day. :)

edit- Choking! Not chocking. What am I, a freeper?

[Graybeard]

22. "Cheney Challenge" Shredded Document Puzzles...

...bags of shredded WH documents for sale. Try to paste
together incriminating evidence. Comes with recording of
Cheney laughing his ass off.

[Joe Bacon]

24. I guess they won't be selling the Rick Santorum Thong anymore

:cry:

[calimary]

36. Although you might get the special Lynndie England designer leash.

Good for dogs, men, or men-on-dogs.

In small, medium, large, and XL for the self-flatterers.

[AnneD]

26. They also have cute cuddly stuffed cats

by Bill Frist. You open the velcro at the tummy and expose all the organs. It comes with an talking MRI, press the bottom of the film and you hear Frist telling you the cat is alive.

[Lowell]

27. Lets hope they have a Sears catalog

They're going to need it.

[No DUplicitous DUpe]

28. This is a GREAT Thread. I really enjoyed it!

Hats-off to all of you clever DU'ers

K&R for smiles.

[flying_wahini]

29. how 'bout the mysterious Aluminum tube bongs

[Az_lefty]

30. Stale Freedom Fries...

[ginnyinWI]

31. I have a few more:

GWB codpieces

Authentic torture devices: waterboards, electrical wires, fake blood, floorchains, etc. etc.

Rummy rose-colored glasses

purple finger ink

[Gregorian]

32. Haha! No depleted uranium candle holders?

The gift that keeps giving. For a BILLION YEARS.

[Bobbie Jo]

34. BushCo Edition, Diplomacy for Dummies....Now in paperback with easy to follow pictures.

Great thread...:rofl:

[KKKarl is an idiot]

35. I decided a while ago that

I was going to visit all the Presidential libraries. This is one that I am not very excited about.

[QueenOfCalifornia]

37. please, you forgot the refreshments

Kool-Aid with a laxitive chaser.



(you need the laxitive due to severe shit-back-up.)

[mentalsolstice]

38. The adjacent cafe will sell yellow cake

after all isn't that why he invaded Iraq? Because Saddam had yellow cake?

[Graybeard]

39. Presidential Pardon "Magic Wands"...

...replicas of wand waved over and over and over in the last
week of GWB's misadministration. (Long list of pardoned
cronies sold separately).

[Zan_of_Texas]

40. four more

1. Replica models of Diebold, ES&S, Sequoia and Hart InterCivic electronic voting machines and optical scanners, with cute little booklets accompanying each one, and how to hack them.

2. Gallon of gasoline for sale, at the real price (including military "defense" to get that gallon): $150. (Okay, I made up that number. But, I guarantee it's way over $3.)

3. Media charm bracelet, with charms. Collect 'em all, have 'em in your pocket or on your wrist -- Fox, Clear Channel, ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, Washington Post, New York Times. Collectors' items -- add the bought and paid for "journalists" like Armstrong Williams.

4. Each hour, there will be a 21-gun salute. 21 is the number of Iraqis killed each hour, every day, 24/7, since the US-led invasion of Iraq, as of a study done after 3.5 years. Triple the number of people who have died in Darfur. (Johns Hopkins study, 655,000. http://www.thelancet.com/webfiles/images/journals/lancet/s0140673606694919.pdf)

"We estimate that, as a consequence of the coalition
invasion of March 18, 2003, about 655,000 Iraqis have died
above the number that would be expected in a non-conflict
situation, which is equivalent to about 2.5% of the
population in the study area. About 601,000 of these excess
deaths were due to violent causes. ... recent estimates
are that 200,000 people have died in Darfur over the past 31 months."

[Zan_of_Texas]

41. and 2 more after that.

5. Jeff Gannon's new book {yet to be written}, What I Was REALLY Doing those 200 Times I Entered the White House (Hint: It wasn't Journalism)

6. There will be an interactive exhibit. The visitor can pick up a phone in front of a display, and listen in, just as if they were an NSA employee, to a real-time phone conversation of an American citizen suspected of terrorism, or contributing to terrorism, or perhaps guilty of being a Quaker or vegetarian.

[Imagevision]

42. On t-shirts gift shop; "George W. Bush resigns before being impeached"

Washington Post front page headlines transfered onto white bulky sweatshirt for ski-weekends at the house bar.

[MethuenProgressive]

43. Thanks DUers! :O)

I love all the add-ons - you guys are a riot!

[MethuenProgressive]

44. Hi, Jack!

Maybe you should've asked if this was me. :D

[KansDem]

45. Don't forget the "Frogs 'n Firecrackers" action figures.

Celebrating Jr's "years of indiscretion"

[AlGore-08.com]

47. The whole complex is wallpapered with uncounted Florida Gore votes

eom