In light of revelations that the Bush Administration has posted dangerous nuclear secrets on a Government website, the United Nations has approved a resolution authorizing the invasion of the United States.
Kofi Annan, the UN Secretary General, stated at a press conference that “the UN believes that violence normally doesn’t solve anything, but something has to be done to stop these crazy mofos from destroying the planet.”
The UN, under the leadership of the French, was able to avoid a U.S. veto in the Security Council, by having the Russian delegate bang his shoe on the desk, and yell out “Free Mustache Wax on First Avenue,” thus ridding the chamber of U.S. Ambassador John Bolton long enough to hold a vote.
The Democratic Party has come out in support of the invasion. As DNC Chairman Howard Dean said, “the GOP has gone from outing Valerie Plame, to outing the secrets of uranium.” “Besides,” Dean added, “a UN invasion of this country is really right out of the Bush-Cheney playbook — getting rid of a dangerous dictator in order to spread democracy.”
John Kerry also chimed in, asserting “that if you don’t get an education, you get stuck with the UN.”
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