Pssst! GOP! (Act Like You Don't Know Me)

NanceGreggs

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Tue Jul-25-06 12:00 AM
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Pssst! GOP! (Act Like You Don't Know Me)

Pssst! GOP! (Act Like You Don’t Know Me)
By Nancy Greggs

I hope you guys appreciate that I’ve literally put my life on the line by getting this information out to you. You have NO idea how pissed-off people are at you Republicans, and the people on this website would KILL me if they knew I was giving you a head’s-up on the current situation this close to the mid-terms.

So the minute you read this, delete it – and don’t ever tell a SOUL where it came from.

So, here’s the scoop. I’ve compiled a list of people who you should be trying to win back. Of course, the fact that you are in total control of the government – which is pretty fu*ked up, man, no offence – is going to make it almost TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE to blame anything on the Democrats. But maybe it’s not too late to turn the tide.

Well, for what it’s worth, here goes – a list of the people who will NOT be voting for you in November:

THE PEOPLE who were victims of Katrina, their friends, their relatives, and anyone who watched the TV coverage of the non-response from the government.

THE PEOPLE who have lost children, spouses, siblings, neighbors or friends in Iraq while you voted for cutting veterans’ benefits, and voted against funding for body armor, vehicle armor and helmet-inserts.

THE PEOPLE who are seeing the utter chaos and out-of-control violence in Baghdad, while you blather on about the wisdom of ‘staying the course’.

THE PEOPLE who have been lectured about family values and honesty in government by the same Republicans they’ve seen indicted on morals, fraud and bribe-taking charges.

THE PEOPLE who have listened to Ted Stevens explain the internetz, and Brownback with his cartoons of talking frozen embryos, and think all of your party members are either (a) insane, or (b) have access to much better drugs than they do.

THE PEOPLE who have noticed that while they’re getting poorer, you are all getting richer – and like a LOT richer.

THE PEOPLE who have long suspected that Bush is an idiot – change that to the people who saw the tapes of Bush at the G-8 Summit and KNOW he’s an idiot.

THE PEOPLE who have lost their jobs, their homes, their pensions, their savings, and their medical coverage while you make speeches about how well the economy is doing.

THE PEOPLE who have woken up to the fact that while they’re paying three-bucks-plus at the gas pump, you handed out tax subsidies to the oil companies – not to mention the people who can hardly afford the gas to get to work while you fly all around the country, on their dime, to investigate the impact of gay marriage on society.

THE PEOPLE who believed you when you said you would make the country safe from terrorism, while watching you hand over the control of US ports to foreign nations with ties to terrorist organizations.

THE PEOPLE who believe in the Constitution, who are aware of the fact that you allow the president to side-step that Constitution whenever he feels like it, which is pretty Goddamned often – okay, which is pretty Goddamned ALL THE TIME.

THE PEOPLE whose kids are going to sub-standard, under-funded public schools while your kids are attending well-funded private schools – which you can afford, thanks to the raises you keep giving yourselves at the taxpayers’ expense.

THE PEOPLE who have watched their tax dollars being hand-delivered, with a ribbon on the box, to companies like Halliburton while you sign the gift card with XXXXs and OOOOs.

THE PEOPLE who have tried to explain their problems to you, while you put your fingers in your ears and sing “la-di-dah” like some really bad Diane Keaton/Annie Hall impression.

THE PEOPLE who have seen the photos from Abu Ghraib, or have read about rendition and secret prisons, while you brag about your support of this Administration based on your belief in good Christian values.

THE PEOPLE who – oh, shit, someone just walked into the office next door. I’ve gotta go – let me finish this quick, while I have the time:

THE PEOPLE who can read, THE PEOPLE who log-on to the internetz, THE PEOPLE who have an IQ over 50, THE PEOPLE who are not in a coma, THE PEOPLE who voted for you last time and realized they’ve been totally screwed, THE PEOPLE who wonder why you’re running the country when they have really dumb cats who have a better grasp of domestic and foreign policy then you do – sorry, man, but I’ve got to stop there, before I get caught.

Just one last thing before I hit the ‘SEND’ button and hope it’s not too late: I don’t want to be pessimistic about your chances this year, but I regularly log-on to a gambling website, and four out of five Diebold execs are putting their money on the Democrats.

REALLY, gotta go now – so print this, delete the original from your email Inbox, and if anyone catches you with the hard copy, just shove it your mouth and swallow it.

Oh, yeah – try not to choke to death. And remember, you NEVER heard it from me, right?

Cool. I KNEW I could trust you, man