In honor of Senator Inhofe, I propose making the Oklahoma

[joemurphy]

dialect of English our country's "official" dialect.

Of course other dialects can be used in the home, but all public schools should teach all coursework in Okie. All broadcasting should be in Okie. All business should be conducted in Okie.

No one may be a citizen or be permitted to vote without taking an oral examination to demonstrate that he can articulate the rudiments of Okie.

No person should be permitted to hold a job without first being proficient in Okie. (Personally, I wouldn't hire someone who didn't speak Okie. If they don't have that Okie nasal twang, I really can't understand them very well.)

Ooooooooooooooooooooooklahoma where the wind goes rushing through the plains...
should be our "official" national anthem.

That, or "I'm Proud to Be an Okie from Muskogee"

Oklahoman is OK!

[Jane Austin]

1. Well, in honor of Oklahoma, why don't we make Cherokee the

official language?

[LiberalEsto]

2. Whodda ya tink ya are? New Joisey is the official!

NJ was busy finding places for George Washington to sleep and developing the world's greatest pizza back when Okies were nothing but a buncha buffalo.

We got Springsteen, we had Frankie, we got da Turnpike, we got Hoboken, we got da Shore.

Youse guys got tumbleweeds.

[joemurphy]

6. Traitor! Learn Okie or just stay in New Jersey! n/t

[LiberalEsto]

7. Mwa ha ha! I'm in Maryland

spreading New Jerseyism far and wide.

[joemurphy]

8. We're gonna fence off New Jersey soon to stop those like you!

[LiberalEsto]

9. We're already everywhere....

There are coded subliminal messages in every Springsteen song, designed to make listeners speak Jersey.

Some day all Americans will be saying kuaaaawfee instead of coffee. They'll taaaaawk instead of talk.

People in benighted states in the middle of the US will finally learn to make decent pizza and Taylor pork roll sandwiches.

:evilgrin:

[joemurphy]

10. Oh God! No! No! All those "big-haired" Jersey women...

We'll handle those who are here compassionately...an 11 year track to citizenship,
a hefty fine, demonstrate that you can hold down a job, and learn Okie. Then maybe you'll be a real American and be ready to vote!

[LiberalEsto]

11. Gee, I thought the South was Big Hair country

Mine's long but not "big".

Tell ya what. You go to NJ, go down to Seaside Heights, try a slice with extra cheese, and we'll give you a chance. Mess it up, we got a set of concrete overshoes waiting. Know whaddImean?

[joemurphy]

12. Hmmmph. There's just no talking sense to you. I'm putting you

on ignore and reporting you to Lou Dobbs!

[Chipper Chat]

3. Sounds good to me.

And Congress should pass the Santorum amendment that requires all red-blooded American high school kids to utter the great english phrase "Dude, that's so gay" at least 5 times a day.

[joemurphy]

4. Yes, but they must do it in Okie and really mean it! n/t

[Chipper Chat]

5. I'm in favor of Coburn for Head Monitor.

Oops, that sounds kinda bad. Chuckle.