Michael Hayden: Yet Another Motherfucker For America:
If it's time for President Bush to nominate someone for a position, it's time to hide our mothers. For, indeed, if there is one thing that is actually steady and true in the topsy-turvy landscape of the raped and desecrated body politic, it is that George Bush will select a motherfucker for the open slot. In fact, Bush will actually pass over pigfuckers, dogfuckers, babyfuckers, and corpsefuckers just to make sure that he has picked the right kind of fucker for the job: a motherfucker. So far, we've been treated to a regular carnival parade of motherfuckers.
Hell, you could make a list of just the motherfuckers named "John" in the Bush Administration: from John Ashcroft, who wept and beat himself bloody with a bullwhip made of dried aborted fetuses every time he fucked a mother, to John Bolton, who shits on Kofi Annan's desk while fucking ambassadors' mothers, to John Negroponte, who keeps jars of the eyeballs of Salvadoran village children killed by death squads in the 1980s to stare at him while he fucks their aging mothers, to John Roberts, who tries not to think about fucking fathers while fucking mothers because he wants everyone to think he's a motherfucker just like them.
The resignation of CIA Director Porter "Motherfucker" Goss is enmeshed in the mystery of a power struggle with John "the Aforementioned Motherfucker" Negroponte, wrapped in Duke Cunningham's bribery scandal - now featuring Goss's third in command, "Dusty" Foggo, covered in a sticky secret sauce that might just be spook and legislator spooge, involving a nine-fingered CIA agent with the easy-to-remember nickname of "Nine Fingers," hookers, and poker (or maybe, more appropriately, "poke-him" parties). Considering how sleazy, cynical, and contemptuous of the nation the whole thing seems, the Rude Pundit wouldn't be surprised to learn that Nine Fingers lost his tenth digit in the particularly tight anus of a Shanghai prostitute. As far as potential scandals go, the whole thing is sweet-smelling enough to make you salivate like sniffin' Granny's boysenberry pies on a window sill.
So now Bush gets to nominate a new Director of Central Intelligence, and he chooses Gen. Michael Hayden, one more motherfucker for the round table of motherfuckers. The quick rogue's gallery portrait features Hayden, as head of the NSA (a job that makes one a motherfucker by definition), carrying out and defending warrantless spying on Americans, missing little things like 9/11, and, in a precious moment, chastising a reporter for saying that the Fourth Amendment to the Constitution says that "probable cause" must be involved in securing a warrant for search, which it does, which Hayden denied it did, which, you know, explains a fuck of a lot. (By the way, what is it with Republicans only paying attention to parts of the Amendments, like the whole "well-regulated militia" thing in the Second Amendment? No wonder they're such bad fucks that they require hookers to get them off - good fucking requires nuance and attention to the full act, not dull head banging.)
http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/
Printer-friendly format
Email this thread to a friend
Bookmark this thread
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
