Smoke-colored glasses all the rage?

[Autonomy]

Someone settle this dispute, please. Preznit Bush claims we’re fighting http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20060505/pl_afp/usattacksbushwwiii_060505220719">WWIII. Osama bin Laden insists that he’s resisting an invasion by European http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12554687/site/newsweek/">crusaders. The Russian media is depicting the world stage as a reemergence of the http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/news/archive/2006/05/05/international/i074926D65.DTL&type=printable">Cold War. Hugo Chavez is fighting a http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article9967.htm">Bolivaran Revolution against the American oppressors.

I’m not saying that the more complicated things, like what we’re actually fighting over, need to be explained, but can we please, please at least get the name of the war right? I’d like to get my anti-someone-or-something rhetoric straight, but I can’t do that with everyone switching wars every other day.

Everyone is fighting a different war, but oddly, the United States is the only player common to all of them. No wonder Bush thinks we’re in WWIII; everyone wants to be in a war (of some type) with us! So that explains that. Bush is involved in so many regional conflicts that he thinks the whole world is out to get him, and it probably is. Only it’s not the Axis versus the Allies this time. It’s a bunch of lesser powers against him. So many fiefdoms are out to fight him that even Empress-Queen Victoria’s blood would curdle trying to keep track of them all.

George would like us to think that the world is out to get us, and for good reason. Because of his belligerent unilateralism and jingoistic rhetoric, much of the world has naturally, to use a Kissinger term, tilted against us. But that doesn’t mean we’re in WWIII. There’s no alignment, agreement, pact or treaty common amongst the ever-willing enemies of America. They have their own problems at home, and Bush kindly provided them with an odious opponent on whom to focus their rage.

That’s a dangerous little game, make-pretending war. I know when I was a kid, whenever we’d get rowdy and have a mock fight, someone would get pissed off and a real fight would start. Looking at the world through smoke-colored glasses may be fashionable these days, but from my perspective they seem as in-style as hip-huggers and mood rings. So someone please tell me what war we’re in, if only so I can be in style, too.

[Cyrano]

1. It's the "War of the World vs George W. Bush."

[acmejack]

2. That pretty much makes us the axis of evil doesn't it?

I mean by definition and all...

[Autonomy]

3. hah! good point!

i may steal that one for some future post, with your permission, of course.

[acmejack]

4. By all means!

[Greyhound]

5. It's the war brought to us by the 60 million idiots that gave us * II.

How about calling it the Idiots War?