Transcript of Colbert Speech: You Be the Judge (By E&P Staff)

[norml]

Transcript of Colbert Speech: You Be the Judge

By E&P Staff

Published: May 03, 2006 10:25 AM ET

NEW YORK Four days after the event, the controversy over Stephen Colbert's routine at the White House Correspondents Dinner on Saturday night--and the media's reaction to it--continues to build, with followup stories in The New York Times, Los Angeles, and dozens of other places, including MTV.com.

E&P published the first account of the affair on Saturday night, and has presented numerous stories--and dozens of letters to the editor--since. But you be the judge. Here is a transcript of his speech, delivered in his usual faux-Bill O'Reilly voice. It closed with a video segment, not transcribed here.

***

COLBERT: Wow, what an honor. The White House Correspondents' Dinner. To actually sit here, at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush, to be this close to the man. I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You know what? I'm a pretty sound sleeper -- that may not be enough. Somebody shoot me in the face.

Is he really not here tonight? Dammit. The one guy who could have helped.

By the way, before I get started, if anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Somebody from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail.

Mark Smith, ladies and gentlemen of the press corps, Madame First Lady, Mr. President, my name is Stephen Colbert and tonight it's my privilege to celebrate this president. We're not so different, he and I. We get it. We're not brainiacs on the nerd patrol. We're not members of the factinista. We go straight from the gut, right sir? That's where the truth lies, right down here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than you have in your head? You can look it up.


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[skooooo]

1. This was a real "Lenny Bruce" moment for Colbert..

...and it will be a long time before people forget it, imo.

[Warpy]

2. It's fun seeing the major media try to ignore it as long as they can

while we out here in computer land are keeping it alive and laughing our asses off at their pretense that it never occurred.

It happened. It hurt. It will be remembered.