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First find a Democratic candidate who comes from a monied, influential family. Check his background to make sure he managed to avoid military service through some means or other.
Scour his background to ensure that he's been involved in some questionable business dealings (e.g. insider trading), and that he's failed at everything he's ever attempted career-wise. If he's consistently been bailed out by his dad and daddy's friends, all the better.
Hopefully this candidate has held another office or two (like being governor of a large state), where he has proven his ineptitude at every turn.
On a personal level, the candidate should have a lengthy history of drug and/or alcohol abuse (both is best), and should not be able to speak coherently on any topic, especially things like foreign policy, the country's economy, job creation, etc.
This may not be the ideal candidate -- but he would be someone familiar to the Repugs, someone who shares their values, which might lead them to vote for him.
The successful candidate would also have to be incredibly stupid, and easily manipulated by power-hungry, greedy ---
Okay, forget the whole idea. I just realized the flaw in my logic. Only Republicans have the aforementioned qualifications.
I guess we'll have to stick with running someone who is smart, honest, straightforward ... blah, blah, blah.
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