Excuse me, would you prefer a "Christmas tree" or a "Holiday tree" ....

[underpants]

shoved up your dumb ass?

You are going to get one of them IF I get ONE MORE stupid mindless email about it from you so pick out which stupid trivial name that you would like to call it while you walk around town with it sticking out of your butt. Now keep in mind that the whole tree thing is based on the Pagan celebration at this time of year not the supposedly Christian one-it was marketing by the early Christians purely business just like all the BUSINESSES doing the "holiday" thing now. Oh and while you are kidding yourself about shopping in quaint downtown mom and pop stores with wrapped packages and all that forget about it they are all out of business and they are working double-shifts out at Walmart. The only people that still go to those old stores downtown are the homeless vets sucking down liter size bottles of Robitussin in the doorway. GOD BLESS AMERICA.

You aren't persecuted and YOU never have been.
No one is telling YOU what to say or what to call YOUR tree.
Even a slightly trained monkey or cat could figure out at this point that you keep hearing about the same sort of "PC" stories about this and with some slight training and the brief time that your head is out of your ass (before I shove the damned tree up it) you should be used to recognize that the parties that are shoving this down your throat were probably the ones who initiated the whole thing in the first place.

Now bend over. You are surely used to this by now. Remember the "Too dumb to vote" thing? They were talking about YOU you just didn't realize it.

---

Feel free to e-mail this back to any and all who send you another one of those BS emails.

[savemefromdumbya]

1. I would rather they left the pine trees in place

used to be called the Paradise tree in days gone by.

[underpants]

2. OH YEAH that reminds me

Remeber how you delight in calling us "tree huggers"?? Well yeah we do know about the trees and we do know how to do this. The already over crowded sweatsuit department at Walmart is going to be a real pain to get around with all those people sporting woodland tails bumping into each other.

[liberalitch]

3. I'm just gonna drag a tree inside.... decorate it....

and worship it in hopes that spring returns....
It won't have anything to do with christmas or the holidays....

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

4. funny!

But there have been Christian churches that have been bombed or threatened-interestingly, they are all black churches invovled in civil rights activities. Also interestingly enough, the persecutors seem to be members of the KKK, a group that calls itself "Christian". Wouldn't it be nice if all these people who are up in arms about Christmas would stand in solidarity with these black churches--or are they members of the KKK?

[underpants]

5. Let us look back at history to help discern what might happen

These high and mighty types changed the RACE of their savior to make themselves feel more comfortable I don't see them running to help out "them" now for crying out loud.

-NOTE there are many, in fact most, who do still believe in the actual teachings of love humanity sharing and so forth this satire is meant for the nonbelievers who have rushed in and grabbed the pulpit for their own earthly purposes.

[wtmusic]

6. How are we ever going to destroy Christmas

with this kind of ambivalence? A HOLIDAY TREE, of course comrade!

*ouch* :P

[TlalocW]

7. I want a Chanuka Bush!

eom

TlalocW

[BOSSHOG]

8. One question

Which end of the tree are you going to shove up their asses first? I suggest the bottom with about a four inch diameter pine nub would do the trick. Or an artificial tree with a metal rod.

I guess I'm a little slow but I've yet to see any christians persecuted here in South Mississippi (except the Sunday School Teacher for having sex with one of his students, but that was just a display of christian conservative values.) Surely it is going on. Surely those who speak for Jesus wouldn't lie to us?

Wouldn't it be great if christian "leaders" tried something more challenging then leading lemmings.

[underpants]

9. google "Falwell 700 Christian lawyers"

and enjoy.

I was planning on going base first. Easier to get in AND very hard to get out.

The image of these tailed dinosaur looking people waddling around a Walmart not only adds to the mental image but throwning the dinosaur aspect in there is especially pleasing to the CHRISTIAN aspect of this.

[DBoon]

10. I want a Yule Log

What does Christ have to do with a decorated conifer anyway?

[stray cat]

11. I like my Christmas tree and since it is in my house its private

No one can take it away from me and I promise I won't invade anyone elses house and put it up.

[realFedUp]

12. Should this be posted in this forum?

:-) have the mods made Gen Discussion the
fluff forum yet?

[Rabrrrrrr]

13. Nicely said!

You have one historical inaccuracy, however - the tree was not part of early Christian marketing of the Christmas celebration. Christmas was not celebrated for the first few hundred years until the Christians coopted the winter celebration (as they co-opted many other celebrations). The Christmas Tree, however, comes even a few hundred years after that, out of a Teutonic tradition. And the giving of gifts is, considering the 2000 year history of Christianity, a very late addition to the holiday, and one which did not really take off until the mid 19th century. Count Santa also from that time.

This is very generally stated and full of some historical holes, but overall, and in a general way, this is how it went.

Other than that, your post is RIGHT ON!

I'm sick and tired of my fellow Christians - though they aren't, in many ways, really to be considered Christian - bitching about "persecution" and "destorying Christmas" and "Christian bashing" and all that bullshit.

[Norrin Radd]

16. And one slight correction of your post:

The ancient Celts--notorious year-round gift-givers themselves (if you didn't match a gift properly, things became heated)--the Romans, the Norse, etc. gave gifts around the time of the winter festivals.

http://www.loc.gov/catdir/samples/random041/99014443.html

[Kber]

14. That's how the angel got to be on the top of the tree.

Supposedly Santa was having an especially bad day when she showed up with the tree and asked him where she should put it.

[norml]

15. It's the topic on my radio show for this week.

I'm collecting material.

I might even read your rant on the air, if I've time.