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Here is a little fable I wrote in July of 2004 to explain how and why Bush got us into this war. I hope you enjoy it.
Junior and the Hornet
A Fable by Ace Opp
(a.k.a. Robert Ingram)
Once upon a time there was a little boy named Junior. Junior was a lot like most other little boys in his neighborhood. He was reasonably good looking, healthy, extremely rich, and average in intelligence. He was not stupid, but he was no Einstein either.
Junior was color-blind. He could not see colors. To him, everything looked either black or white. He could not even see shades of grey—only black or white.
Junior loved to play games like baseball and spin the bottle. That was his favorite—spin the bottle—and he became very good at it. Sometimes he played soldier, too, but he decided that soldier was really not so much fun, so he went back to spin the bottle.
Junior came from a very loving family, but he never quite “bonded” with his father. Senior had been very successful in life, but Junior never quite measured up, or so he thought. More than anything in the world, Junior wanted the approval of Senior, but it was not to be. So, Junior came up with a plan. He created an imaginary friend to replace his real father. Deep down inside, though, it was the approval of Senior that he really wanted. Some of the kids in the neighborhood suggested that Junior had an Eddie Puss complex, but Junior had never heard of any Eddie Puss, so he just ignored it.
One day during a conversation with his imaginary friend, Junior came up with an idea. He would become the leader of all the boys in his neighborhood (the girls, too, but they didn’t really count, of course). Junior’s father, Senior, had once been leader of the neighborhood, but he had not been very popular, and the people had chosen a different leader. Now, Junior would avenge his father’s loss and in the process would prove to Senior who was really the better man. Most of the kids in the neighborhood felt that Junior really wasn’t qualified to be their leader, but that’s another story.
In Junior’s neighborhood there was a beautiful park, and because the neighborhood was very wealthy, the park contained one of the most beautiful treehouses to be found anywhere. The treehouse was the pride of the neighborhood.
Then, something terrible happened. A group of mad dogs, led by a particularly mean wolf dog, attacked the treehouse and destroyed it. All the people in the neighborhood were furious, and they vowed to find the mad dogs and destroy them. Junior sent a team of kids to track them down, and the team found some of the mad dogs, but not the wolf dog. Junior liked this new game. Though he had never really enjoyed playing soldier, he decided that playing commander-in-chief was a lot more fun.
For a very long time, Junior had had a bad dream. He dreamed that his father, not his imaginary father, but his real father, Senior, had been attacked by a hornet. In fact, his father had once been stung by a hornet, but to Junior, it was a major embarrassment to the family. He had always wanted to find that hornet and destroy it. With the attack on the treehouse, Junior saw his opportunity. He ordered his soldiers to attack the hornet’s nest.
“But the hornets didn’t destroy the treehouse,” said many people in the neighborhood. One of the people even pointed out that the mad dogs who destroyed the treehouse had entered the neighborhood from the north. “If we’re going to attack the hornet’s nest,’ he protested, ‘we might as well attack Canada! After all, the Canadians had about as much to do with the destruction of our treehouse as the hornets did.”
“Oh, but the hornet is evil,” said Junior. “I know because my imaginary friend told me so.”
Other kids, some of whom were very close to Junior, tried to tell him that the hornet was not important, but Junior would not listen. (Remember, to Junior, everything was either black or white.)
“But the people in the neighborhood do not believe that the hornet is a problem,” said the others.
“Then we will tell the people that the hornet’s sting is poisonous.”
“But we have no proof that the hornet’s sting contains poison.”
“Bring in my spies,” said Junior. “They will get the proof.”
“We have studied the problem,” said the spies, “and we cannot find any proof that the hornet’s sting contains poison.”
“Then study some more,” said Junior.
So the spies went back and returned with a new report that warned the neighborhood about poisonous hornets.
“But the hornet is inside of the nest,” said the others.
“Then we will destroy the entire nest,” said Junior, “and we’ll keep destroying hornets’ nests until we find the right one.” And so he did. He ordered his soldiers to fire many shotguns at the nest, and they obeyed. Of course, they stirred up lots of hornets. Eventually, they captured the one hornet that had stung Junior’s father, and Junior was very pleased.
Junior traveled all around the neighborhood bragging to everyone how he had avenged the destruction of the treehouse.
But as time passed the people became more aware of what had really happened. “The hornet had nothing to do with the destruction of the treehouse,” they said. “What is more, the neighborhood is now swarming with mad hornets, the mean wolf who destroyed the treehouse is still running loose and is planning more attacks on us, and nearly 1000 of our soldiers are dead!”
“Nonsense,” said Junior. “The neighborhood is safer today than it was before, and if you don’t believe me, just ask my imaginary friend.”
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