Sh** Happens

[Joey Liberal]

Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?
Buddhism: If shit happens, it is not really shit.
Zen Buddhism: Tell me, grasshopper. What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: I could swear this shit happened before.
Native Religions: Shit never happened until you people showed up.

Presbyterianism: If shit must happen, let it be done decently and in proper order.
Calvinism: If shit happens, it was pre-ordained.
Baptist: We'll be raptured while shit happens to the rest of you.
Pentecostalism: Same shit, different language.
Holiness Methodism: Holy shit!
TV Evangelism: Send in more shit.
Unitarianism: We're not really sure if shit happens, but if you think so, we respect your right to your shit.
United Church of Christ: We celebrate you in all your shittiness.
Episcopalianism: Shit only happens when the liturgical calendar SAYS it happens.
Lutheranism: Our shit doesn't stink.
Missouri Synod Lutheranism: Oh, yes it does. And so does everyone else's.
Amish: Indoor plumbing is for sissies.
Taoism: Shit happens.
Buddhism: If shit happens, it's not really shit.
Islam: If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.
Judaism: Why does this shit keep happening to us?
Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
Confucianism: Nothing can be done for the man who refuses to bring me his shit.
Jehovah's Witnesses: Knock knock, shit happens.
Sufism: Say: I am shit.
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Bahá'ism: One planet, one shit ... please.
Existentialism: What is shit anyhow!?
Protestantism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Catholicism: Shit happens because you're bad.
TV Evangelism: Send more shit.
Ayatollahism: Holy Shi'ite!
Hare Krishna: Shit happens Rama Rama.
Atheism: No shit.
Wicca: Shit comes back three times over.
Hedonism: There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit.

[mattclearing]

1. Love it. n/t

[Radical Activist]

2. You left off Mormonism

Your shit is nice, but we have the ONE TRUE shit.

That was on the version of this I got a while back.

[The Doctor.]

3. That's some good shit. nt

[TahitiNut]

4. DUism: When shit happens, hit Alert.

:silly:

[trogdor]

7. Neoconservatism

When shit happens, blame it on the Democrats.

[Radical Activist]

11. Take our shit or the terrorists will win

[TyeDye75]

5. Shinto; appreciating the natural beauty of shit

Love this list, Im going to email it to all my friends.....

[coloradodem2005]

6. That's awesome.

[CatholicEdHead]

8. Posted top part of these on a right wing board

and darn near got kicked off. One of the mods was hyper-sensitive about religon.

[lostinacause]

9. "Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?"

It's both funny and sad.

[Johnny Noshoes]

10. Catholicism: Shit happens because you're bad.

And we NEVER let you forget that EVER. Even if you walk away from them like I did the damn stuff still lurks in the back of your mind.

[Piperay]

12. TERRIFIC

THANKS! :thumbsup:

[Karenina]

13. Oh shit, this shit is the shit!

:rofl:

[adigal]

14. Very, very funny!! Thanks for the needed laugh.

[lyonn]

15. Rastafarianism

This was the perfect final description. No I don't do that S---, but I was in Jamica once and they were good at it.