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Do we have a list of the worst/dumbest quotes from the inauguration?

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Czolgosz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-21-05 02:30 PM
Original message
Do we have a list of the worst/dumbest quotes from the inauguration?
If not, let's start one here.
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kick-ass-bob Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-21-05 02:31 PM
Response to Original message
1. is there a transcript of his speech?
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Sequoia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-21-05 02:34 PM
Response to Original message
2. I was home sick from work and couldn't watch any of it
because I'd just get more angry. I was disappointed there was no blizzard when I was channel surfing and looking for "The Waltons", and had to pass up the news channels to get to Hallmark. I did catch The Daily Show at 10AM which made me feel a whole lot better.
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KamaAina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-21-05 02:37 PM
Response to Original message
3. Amazingly, the leader so far isn't even from Bush**
it's from Rich Little at the inaugural ball, giving his all in an attempt to sound even dumber than St. Raygun:

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/ArticleNews/TPStory/LAC/20050121/INAUG21/TPInternational/Americas

Earlier, master of ceremonies Rich Little, the Canadian-born impersonator, got off to a rocky start with his impersonation of President Ronald Reagan.

Sounding a lot like the old president, he recalled being asked whether the war on poverty was over. "Yes, and the poor lost," the Reagan voice said.

"They should have quit when they were ahead."

There were few laughs from the well-heeled, overwhelmingly Republican crowd.
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zappaman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-21-05 02:48 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. Rich Little
Has to be the poorest impersonator on the planet. If he was the highlight of the evening's entertainment, you know it sucked hard.
Saw his "Nicholson" on the news last night.
My 5 year old son could do it...jackass.
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Czolgosz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-21-05 02:47 PM
Response to Original message
4. Here's a link to the transcript
Edited on Fri Jan-21-05 03:05 PM by Czolgosz
http://www.cnn.com/ALLPOLITICS/inauguration/2001/transcripts/template.html

No, wait, that's the last load of crap. Here's the new load:

Vice President Cheney, Mr Chief Justice, President Carter, President Bush, President Clinton, reverend clergy, distinguished guests, fellow citizens:

On this day, prescribed by law and marked by ceremony, we celebrate the durable wisdom of our Constitution, and recall the deep commitments that unite our country. I am grateful for the honour of this hour, mindful of the consequential times in which we live, and determined to fulfil the oath that I have sworn and you have witnessed.

At this second gathering, our duties are defined not by the words I use, but by the history we have seen together. For a half century, America defended our own freedom by standing watch on distant borders. After the shipwreck of communism came years of relative quiet, years of repose, years of sabbatical - and then there came a day of fire.

We have seen our vulnerability - and we have seen its deepest source. For as long as whole regions of the world simmer in resentment and tyranny - prone to ideologies that feed hatred and excuse murder - violence will gather, and multiply in destructive power, and cross the most defended borders, and raise a mortal threat. There is only one force of history that can break the reign of hatred and resentment, and expose the pretensions of tyrants, and reward the hopes of the decent and tolerant, and that is the force of human freedom.

We are led, by events and common sense, to one conclusion: The survival of liberty in our land increasingly depends on the success of liberty in other lands. The best hope for peace in our world is the expansion of freedom in all the world.

America's vital interests and our deepest beliefs are now one. From the day of our Founding, we have proclaimed that every man and woman on this earth has rights, and dignity, and matchless value, because they bear the image of the Maker of Heaven and earth.

Across the generations we have proclaimed the imperative of self-government, because no one is fit to be a master, and no one deserves to be a slave. Advancing these ideals is the mission that created our Nation. It is the honourable achievement of our fathers. Now it is the urgent requirement of our nation's security, and the calling of our time.

So it is the policy of the United States to seek and support the growth of democratic movements and institutions in every nation and culture, with the ultimate goal of ending tyranny in our world.

This is not primarily the task of arms, though we will defend ourselves and our friends by force of arms when necessary. Freedom, by its nature, must be chosen, and defended by citizens, and sustained by the rule of law and the protection of minorities. And when the soul of a nation finally speaks, the institutions that arise may reflect customs and traditions very different from our own. America will not impose our own style of government on the unwilling. Our goal instead is to help others find their own voice, attain their own freedom, and make their own way.

The great objective of ending tyranny is the concentrated work of generations. The difficulty of the task is no excuse for avoiding it. America's influence is not unlimited, but fortunately for the oppressed, America's influence is considerable, and we will use it confidently in freedom's cause.

My most solemn duty is to protect this nation and its people against further attacks and emerging threats. Some have unwisely chosen to test America's resolve, and have found it firm.

We will persistently clarify the choice before every ruler and every nation: The moral choice between oppression, which is always wrong, and freedom, which is eternally right. America will not pretend that jailed dissidents prefer their chains, or that women welcome humiliation and servitude, or that any human being aspires to live at the mercy of bullies.

We will encourage reform in other governments by making clear that success in our relations will require the decent treatment of their own people. America's belief in human dignity will guide our policies, yet rights must be more than the grudging concessions of dictators; they are secured by free dissent and the participation of the governed. In the long run, there is no justice without freedom, and there can be no human rights without human liberty.

Some, I know, have questioned the global appeal of liberty - though this time in history, four decades defined by the swiftest advance of freedom ever seen, is an odd time for doubt. Americans, of all people, should never be surprised by the power of our ideals. Eventually, the call of freedom comes to every mind and every soul. We do not accept the existence of permanent tyranny because we do not accept the possibility of permanent slavery. Liberty will come to those who love it.

Today, America speaks anew to the peoples of the world:

All who live in tyranny and hopelessness can know: the United States will not ignore your oppression, or excuse your oppressors. When you stand for your liberty, we will stand with you.

Democratic reformers facing repression, prison, or exile can know: America sees you for who you are: the future leaders of your free country.

The rulers of outlaw regimes can know that we still believe as Abraham Lincoln did: "Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves; and, under the rule of a just God, cannot long retain it."

The leaders of governments with long habits of control need to know: To serve your people you must learn to trust them. Start on this journey of progress and justice, and America will walk at your side.

And all the allies of the United States can know: we honour your friendship, we rely on your counsel, and we depend on your help. Division among free nations is a primary goal of freedom's enemies. The concerted effort of free nations to promote democracy is a prelude to our enemies' defeat.

Today, I also speak anew to my fellow citizens:

From all of you, I have asked patience in the hard task of securing America, which you have granted in good measure. Our country has accepted obligations that are difficult to fulfil, and would be dishonourable to abandon. Yet because we have acted in the great liberating tradition of this nation, tens of millions have achieved their freedom. And as hope kindles hope, millions more will find it. By our efforts, we have lit a fire as well - a fire in the minds of men. It warms those who feel its power, it burns those who fight its progress, and one day this untamed fire of freedom will reach the darkest corners of our world.

A few Americans have accepted the hardest duties in this cause - in the quiet work of intelligence and diplomacy ... the idealistic work of helping raise up free governments ... the dangerous and necessary work of fighting our enemies. Some have shown their devotion to our country in deaths that honoured their whole lives - and we will always honour their names and their sacrifice.

All Americans have witnessed this idealism, and some for the first time. I ask our youngest citizens to believe the evidence of your eyes. You have seen duty and allegiance in the determined faces of our soldiers. You have seen that life is fragile, and evil is real, and courage triumphs. Make the choice to serve in a cause larger than your wants, larger than yourself - and in your days you will add not just to the wealth of our country, but to its character.

America has need of idealism and courage, because we have essential work at home - the unfinished work of American freedom. In a world moving toward liberty, we are determined to show the meaning and promise of liberty.

In America's ideal of freedom, citizens find the dignity and security of economic independence, instead of labouring on the edge of subsistence. This is the broader definition of liberty that motivated the Homestead Act, the Social Security Act, and the G.I. Bill of Rights. And now we will extend this vision by reforming great institutions to serve the needs of our time. To give every American a stake in the promise and future of our country, we will bring the highest standards to our schools, and build an ownership society. We will widen the ownership of homes and businesses, retirement savings and health insurance - preparing our people for the challenges of life in a free society. By making every citizen an agent of his or her own destiny, we will give our fellow Americans greater freedom from want and fear, and make our society more prosperous and just and equal.

In America's ideal of freedom, the public interest depends on private character - on integrity, and tolerance toward others, and the rule of conscience in our own lives. Self-government relies, in the end, on the governing of the self. That edifice of character is built in families, supported by communities with standards, and sustained in our national life by the truths of Sinai, the Sermon on the Mount, the words of the Koran, and the varied faiths of our people. Americans move forward in every generation by reaffirming all that is good and true that came before - ideals of justice and conduct that are the same yesterday, today, and forever.

In America's ideal of freedom, the exercise of rights is ennobled by service, and mercy, and a heart for the weak. Liberty for all does not mean independence from one another. Our nation relies on men and women who look after a neighbour and surround the lost with love. Americans, at our best, value the life we see in one another, and must always remember that even the unwanted have worth. And our country must abandon all the habits of racism, because we cannot carry the message of freedom and the baggage of bigotry at the same time.

From the perspective of a single day, including this day of dedication, the issues and questions before our country are many. From the viewpoint of centuries, the questions that come to us are narrowed and few. Did our generation advance the cause of freedom? And did our character bring credit to that cause?

These questions that judge us also unite us, because Americans of every party and background, Americans by choice and by birth, are bound to one another in the cause of freedom. We have known divisions, which must be healed to move forward in great purposes - and I will strive in good faith to heal them. Yet those divisions do not define America. We felt the unity and fellowship of our nation when freedom came under attack, and our response came like a single hand over a single heart. And we can feel that same unity and pride whenever America acts for good, and the victims of disaster are given hope, and the unjust encounter justice, and the captives are set free.

We go forward with complete confidence in the eventual triumph of freedom. Not because history runs on the wheels of inevitability; it is human choices that move events. Not because we consider ourselves a chosen nation; God moves and chooses as He wills. We have confidence because freedom is the permanent hope of mankind, the hunger in dark places, the longing of the soul. When our Founders declared a new order of the ages; when soldiers died in wave upon wave for a union based on liberty; when citizens marched in peaceful outrage under the banner "Freedom Now" - they were acting on an ancient hope that is meant to be fulfilled. History has an ebb and flow of justice, but history also has a visible direction, set by liberty and the Author of Liberty.

When the Declaration of Independence was first read in public and the Liberty Bell was sounded in celebration, a witness said, "It rang as if it meant something." In our time it means something still. America, in this young century, proclaims liberty throughout all the world, and to all the inhabitants thereof. Renewed in our strength - tested, but not weary - we are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom.

May God bless you, and may He watch over the United States of America.
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AntiCoup2K4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-21-05 03:05 PM
Response to Reply #4
8. The WhiteHouse.org version is more what Junior was really thinking.
TRANSCRIPT OF PRESIDENT'S INAUGURAL ADDRESS PROMISING GREATER FREEDOM® FOR FREEIFIED® FREEFOLK® TO FREELY® ENJOY FREETASTIC® FREEGASMS® OF FREEDOMOSITY®
President's 2005 Inauguration Speech

THE PRESIDENT: Vice President Mr. Cheney Sir, Chief Justice Deathbed, President Peanut, President Poppy, President Jizz Hydrant, assembled executives of McJesus, Inc., token worshippers of Satanic false gods, distinguished Wall Street sugar daddies, terror-phobic flag-waving provincials drowning in credit card debt, neutered Democrats in the freeze-your-buggered-ass-off seats, and of course, all the photo-friendly military bullet sponges of various dirt-poor white trash and filth races with whom I pretend I have so much in common...

IT'S PARTY-HARDY TIME! I SPENT $40 MILLION ON LONE STAR TALLBOYS FOR TODAY, SO THE FIRST MOTHERFUCKER TO SHOTGUN A WHOLE SIXER GETS A JOYRIDE ON MARINE ONE!

(Hoots and Applause.)

That's right. Because on this day, we celebrate the durable wisdom of that wrinkled old roll of 18th century toilet paper, the Constitution of Independence – whose flowery words and noble, yet impractical ideas I sometimes yack on about when drawing attention away from my passion for getting rich and killing folks. Indeed, it is a passion so powerful, it has no time for the squirrelly limitations those pansies in tights tried to impose on me back in 1876. In fact, I like to think of my new agenda as the "Constitutional Emancipation Act."

(Applause.)

Which I why I am so grateful to be standing before you now, mindful of the fact that I have bested my loser one-term-wonder daddy, and eager to kick off a second term that will make Richard Nixon's look as squeaky clean as a virgin debutante's freshly douched hoo-hoo.

Yes, at this second inaugural gathering, this holy coronation, this taxpayer-funded hootenanny validating four years of imperialistic megalomania, war profiteering, legislative faggot-bashing, blatant theocracy-building, and gratuitous corporate tax-raiding – we are led, by events and a monolithic right-wing media propaganda machine, to one conclusion: I am not only The Way and The Light, but also the very incarnation of FREEDOM®.

I'm sensing – yes, I am – that here is a lady in a stars and stripes toboggan cap up in the riff-raff seats – right near John Kerry – who has a cancer that is destroying her. HEAL! HEAL, I say! I the name of Jesus, I rebuke all demons of this cancer and ask that this woman be cured of her liberal sympathy for the poor and hungry. Glory!

And since the cameras are rolling here, and I don't want anybody to ever replay any "gotcha" clips from this speech that sound like actual plans or – Christ forbid – promises, just bear with me for the next fifteen minutes as I test to see how the same old star-spangly FREEDOM® blah-blah I used in campaign stump speeches will go over when I'm not in a hangar filled to the rafters with brainwashed military zombies I'm fixing to send overseas to be blown into sausage by that one insurgent who's causing all the trouble.

(Applause.)

Jenna, quit clipping your toenails.

For as long as there are FREEDOM®-hating regimes – withered, pathetic third world CIA puppets selfishly perched atop underground lakes of SUV vroom-vroom juice – regimes who dare to violently torment their citizens without first purchasing a "Free To Oppress" card at the US Embassy in Riyadh, America will stand vigilant, spouting easily digestible Leave it to Beaver moralisms, handing out McRibs to armless orphans for the benefit of FOX News cameramen, and cracking open the pride-inflated skulls of Arabiac trash like they were putrid brown cantaloupes covered in thick, greasy black hair.

Some, I know, have questioned the global appeal of LibertyTM. They wonder, "This LibertyTM He speaks of, is it just another queer little woman's excuse for a Jeep?" To which I say no, LibertyTM is the new FREEDOM®, and FREEDOM® is just another word for "whatever the fuck I want it to be when I don't want to say what I'm doing." Because, folks, even torture sounds a bunch better when you slap some FREEDOM® on it.

(Applause.)

Of course, for those living in other countries that have not yet been forcibly reborn in America's image, know that LibertyTM can also mean "Democracy." Yes, Democracy, that greatest floor show in history, keeping you, the citizen customers, from noticing that the drinks are watered down, the buffet is overpriced, and the hookers spackle layer upon layer of cheap lipstick over their festering cold sores. And that, my friends, is the very essence of Original Recipe Republican FREEDOM®.

In Bush America's ideal of FREEDOM®, "FREEDOM®" is a word you stick on the bumper of your pickup, or howl until you're hoarse while pumping a grubby fist in the air to the numbing beat of Toby Keith's latest patrio-fascist ballad. And all the while, the military grunts tasked with defending FREEDOM® by carpet-bombing defenseless babies and old ladies in that I-R-A-Q place I won't mention by name, are watching their own FREEDOM® swirl right down the back-door draft crapper. Never let it be said that the Lord doesn't work through Me in ways so mysterious, even He can't tell heads from tails no more.

(Applause.)

In Bush America's ideal of FREEDOM®, the public interest yields the right of way to the Mack Truck of stock price fixations – and chubby, balding bankers and trust fund demigods-turned-Congressmen prattle on about the rights of individuals, except when those rights conflict with their need for another vacation mansion, sprawling like a gilded octopus across a hilltop overlooking a squalid oceanfront village of poor people rendered picturesquely gaunt by chronic malnutrition. But it's like Pickles used to say when she was too toasted on vodka gimlets to work the oven and the twins would come in from school with the munchies: "Let them eat Little Debbie cakes!"

In Bush America's ideal of FREEDOM®, rich folks who deserve it enjoy the dignity of economic security. Because Americans hate a handout, unless of course it's a sweet Beemer convertible Daddy bought you once you'd been handed your legacy child mercy degree from Yale – or you can't compete with Airbus so you need to slurp at the Pentagon gravy boat in order to fund billion dollar executive pensions. This is the broader definition of LibertyTM that motivated the Homestead Act, the Social Security Act, and the G.I. Bill of Rights. And now we will extend this vision by reforming great institutions into tax dollar-inhaling organs of big business – where the bottom line, not conscience, is the moral dictate.

Indeed, standing before you today, I swear that I will do my omnipotent best over the next four years to liberate all Americans from disgusting Socialist notions of so-called "community responsibility" and "mercy." And instead, non-zillionaire folks will thrill to their newfound FREEDOM® to choose between working full-time at minimum wage until they slip and shatter their brittle geriatric hips on a Wal-Mart tile floor, or happily investing in the year-end bonuses of hot shot Merrill Lynch mutual fund managers, who work hard to live in $10 Million Central Park apartments equipped with high-powered telescopes for watching their fancy neighbors have kinky Jew York City sex.

From the perspective of a single day, including this day of dedication, the issues and questions before our country are many. From the viewpoint of centuries, the questions that come to us are narrowed and few. Was the word FREEDOM® effectively hijacked and exploited by narrow-minded zealots to cement their white-knuckled grip on power? And did America's ignorant, glassy-eyed lard-asses ignore the impassioned warnings of the entire once-friendly world?

These questions which might otherwise provoke or rouse thinking people from their stupors, are today rightly tossed aside like an empty Frito-Lay bag. Why? Because on Inauguration Day, Americans of every party and background, Americans by choice and by birth, subscribe to the quaint media-fueled fallacy that today, as if by magic, the life and death issues over which Hanoi John Kerry and I just fought tooth and nail, can and should be glossed over in favor of meaningless feel-good rhetoric about "unity," "fellowship," and a bunch of other pussy-sounding liberal stuff.

And so we march forward. And by "we," I mean "Me." Forward with complete indifference to any and all ideas or interests that are not in 100% lockstep with my own, confident in a strategy of wielding "FREEDOM®" as a grossly crude, yet shockingly effective polemical cudgel. Because history is written by the victors, which is why Nazi death camps got such a bad rap. And because the current victors (that's Me again) know for a scientific fact that Jesus' Daddy himself leaned over from his cloud-upholstered La-Z-Boy sectional to handpick my family as his lifetime-appointed Kings of the Earth.

(Applause.)

When America's Founders declared a new order of the ages; when soldiers died in wave upon wave for a union based on LibertyTM; when citizens marched in peaceful outrage under the banner "FREEDOM® Now" – little did they know they were mere teeny-tiny pawns in a super-long chess game whose only purpose was to set the stage for a thousand year Bush reign. History has an ebb and flow of justice, but history also has a visible direction as certain as an eight lane turnpike, and today, every last one of its road signs read "ALL TRAFFIC MERGE RIGHT." Ultra-right-wing, as it were. And that's what I call "LibertyTM!"

A wise man once said that LibertyTM is the thick, gooey corn syrup on the biscuit of human endeavor. And as I stand before you today, I swear to slather LibertyTM all over the Earth.

(Applause.)

NOW LET'S KICK OFF THAT PARADE SO WE CAN TEARGAS SOME PINKO PROTESTORS!

(Applause.)

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donkeyotay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-21-05 03:44 PM
Response to Reply #4
10. Oops, wrong place.
Edited on Fri Jan-21-05 03:45 PM by donkeyotay
self delete
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donkeyotay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-21-05 03:47 PM
Response to Reply #4
11. Who writes this shit?
Edited on Fri Jan-21-05 03:49 PM by donkeyotay
Barf-bag city. Up the medication. For an honest translation, see the next post.

Oh hell, I give up. The original sucks. The whitehouse.org version is a true and necessary antidote to that psudeo-patriotic drivel.


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AntiCoup2K4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-21-05 03:02 PM
Response to Original message
6. Well according to Jon Stewart the score was Freedom 27 - Liberty 15
Not direct quotes from the speech, but a good summation of what the Chimp droned on and on about. That being the fucked up PNAC definitions of "Freedom" and "Liberty", which used to be called "Fascism".
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Sparkly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-21-05 03:03 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. That was hilarious
He said Freedom will be facing off with Justice in the cliche play-off, or something. And Liberty's been playing wounded since the Patriot Act. :)
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Czolgosz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-21-05 03:06 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. That was hilarious!
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votedem Donating Member (14 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-21-05 03:49 PM
Response to Original message
12. Bush was talking directly to *US* here!
"Democratic reformers facing repression, prison, or exile can know: America sees you for who you are: the future leaders of your free country."
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AG78 Donating Member (840 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-21-05 04:22 PM
Response to Original message
13. Too many to choose from
"America's vital interests and our deepest beliefs are now one."

But that's the most frightening.
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Czolgosz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-21-05 04:22 PM
Response to Original message
14. Here are my top 6
1. "On this day, prescribed by law and marked by ceremony, we celebrate the durable wisdom of our Constitution, and recall the deep commitments that unite our country."

Is this the wise Constitution that we need to amend to enshrine Bush’s homophobic views?

2. "From the day of our Founding, we have proclaimed that every man and woman on this earth has rights, and dignity, and matchless value, because they bear the image of the Maker of Heaven and earth."

Really? Then what was the point of the 13th, 15th, and 19th Amendments?

3. "Across the generations we have proclaimed the imperative of self-government, because no one is fit to be a master, and no one deserves to be a slave. . . . So it is the policy of the United States to seek and support the growth of democratic movements and institutions in every nation and culture, with the ultimate goal of ending tyranny in our world."

Why does this not apply to people living in countries that are members of Bush’s “Coalition of the 'Willing'” like Eritrea and Uzbekistan or oppressive countries that we befriend because they support Bush like Saudi Arabia?

4. "Freedom, by its nature, must be chosen, and defended by citizens, and sustained by the rule of law and the protection of minorities."

But wait . . . it doesn’t seem like the Iraqi people exactly chose the freedom have given them.

5. "We will persistently clarify the choice before every ruler and every nation: The moral choice between oppression, which is always wrong, and freedom, which is eternally right. America will not pretend that jailed dissidents prefer their chains, or that women welcome humiliation and servitude, or that any human being aspires to live at the mercy of bullies. "

This applies everywhere but Abu Grabh and Guantanamo Bay.

6. "In America's ideal of freedom, citizens find the dignity and security of economic independence, instead of laboring on the edge of subsistence. This is the broader definition of liberty that motivated the Homestead Act, the Social Security Act, and the G.I. Bill of Rights.

If Bush likes the Social Security Act so well why is he’s hell-bent on destroying it?
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-21-05 06:58 PM
Response to Original message
15. "Get ready, 13th street! Wave to let them know how much you
love America! God bless President Bush and Vice-President Cheney. Thank you, thank you for your support."

That was one of the sequences that was on the loudspeakers during the motorcade from the Capitol to the White House.
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