(original at
http://911blogger.com/node/3781)
By John J. Jenerik
TMNS Exclusive
Monday, October 16, 2006
NEW YORK: Though their opinions may differ, American politicians and commentators of all persuasions seem united in their resolve not to let Dick Cheney's 9/11 confession turn their world upside down.
Mr. Cheney used a White House press conference last Tuesday to extol his own role as a "primary architect of the events of September 11, 2001." In an extended response to an unrelated question, the Republican vice-president unexpectedly told reporters that the aerial attacks on New York and Washington were orchestrated by "a network of experienced covert operatives" under his command.
In Mr. Cheney's words, this "shadow executive" subverted a "Red Team" participating in US military maneuvers. "They used the routine wargames scheduled for September 11th as the cover for a 'real-world' attack. I can't say much more than that because as you can guess, we did our best to keep me out of the loop. By the time the day arrived, all I really had to do from the bunker downstairs was to make sure there was no interference from the genius at the top," he said, chuckling as he added: "The boys in the field were magnificent."
A second team under separate command had been assigned to assure the destruction of the World Trade Center itself, Mr. Cheney said.
The intent of the action was to blame the resulting carnage on the "false flag" of the shadowy al-Qaeda network, itself largely a construct of Western and allied intelligence services, according to Mr. Cheney. "Our motive was to justify a long-planned global war of aggression, and to remove all limits on executive power at home. The Islamic fundamentalists made for irresistible patsies," he said. "We knew the operation would leave a lot of loose ends, but we relied on you guys in the media to ignore those and patch up a telegenic narrative."
"You came through, and the nation thanks you for it," Mr. Cheney told the assembled press corps.
Refusing further questions, Mr. Cheney announced he was returning to his underground complex in Pennsylvania, where he intends "to oversee the next steps in the program we initiated on 9/11."
Democracy Vibrant As Ever,
Debate Among Sophists ProvesWith mid-term elections just three weeks away, Democratic leaders chose a restrained response. Hillary Clinton and Charles Schumer, speaking at a Capitol Hill press conference Wednesday, avoided making direct references to Mr. Cheney. Announcing a proposal to beef up Homeland Security spending, the Democratic senators from New York instead urged the administration to be more effective in fighting "the common enemy."
"All this should finally spur the White House to hurry up and prosecute a more focused and vigorous war on terror," Ms. Clinton said. "9/11 was a terrible tragedy for so many hard-working, ordinary people who lost their loved ones in the great state of New York. They don't need to have those memories dredged up again by those who have so manifestly proven their incompetence elsewhere, from Iraq to New Orleans. Our homeland needs better protection now."
"This is no time to dwell on the past," said Senator Joe Biden of Delaware, echoing a broad consensus of his colleagues in the Democratic Party.
Intellectuals on the right greeted the news with a touch of realism. "9/11 was a bold, geopolitically savvy move, and I can't wait to see what's coming next," William Kristol of the Project for a New American Century said in an appearance on FOXNEWS.
"To save America, our leaders knew they had to go large," Kristol added. "Without 9/11, would people in this country have understood the threat in time? I have no doubt that history will judge the vice-president as a man of imposing foresight and courage."
On the left, many directly questioned the truth of Mr. Cheney's confession.
"That's just not how the intelligence world works," said David Corn of <i>The Nation</i> magazine. "It's ridiculous to see Cheney, who has no formal command over the US military, as some kind of James Bond villain who could pull off an attack on that scale all by himself. He's just a forgotten old man holed up in a cave somewhere, and now he's reaching for the political Viagra."
Chip Berlet, a leading critic of the "paranoid corrosion" of American politics, stated that "Cheney is a right-wing conspiracy theorist who has lied many times in the past. He lied about weapons of mass destruction and the 9/11 link to Iraq. Why should progressives trust him when he claims something even more outrageous?"
The moderators of the ultra-liberal DemocraticUnderground.com announced the site would maintain its policy of transferring all threads linking to news of Mr. Cheney's confession to a specialized 9/11 forum, called the "conspiracy dungeon" by many of the members.
A website that specializes in debunking urban legends published a page linking to several videos, allegedly of Osama Bin Ladin, in which the al-Qaeda leader describes orchestrating the 9/11 attacks. "Bin Ladin confessed to this crime almost five years ago," said Barbara Mikkelson, editor of Snopes.com. "Cheney's belated jump on the bandwagon changes nothing about that."
Meanwhile, the heavyweights of punditry devoted little attention to an issue they privately characterized as old news.
"Everyone from Bangalore to Silicon Valley knew 9/11 was an inside job," according to Thomas Friedman of the New York Times, who said he had not considered mentioning the matter in his column. "Why chew up crucial mental RAM about it now, when Korea and Iran are on a horse that's gone nuclear, and shiny red Ipods are ka-zapping that news to all five corners of the flat world, a hundred Google-times faster than before? Gosh, do you know how big a hundred Google-times is? It's big!"
Syndicated columnist Maureen Dowd discerned a pattern of fear-mongering by the administration. "Just when we as a nation had grown comfortable with the idea of an omnipresent, shadowy foreign enemy never resting in its determination to kill us all suddenly, anywhere and by any means, Boss Cheney has to go and tell us the real enemy is inside our own government," Ms. Dowd wrote. "All he ever does is raise new specters to keep us frightened."
Smelly Eccentrics Provide
for Additional Rustic ColorEven 9/11 conspiracy buffs sought to downplay the news, with many noting that Mr. Cheney had said nothing they have not already claimed for years. "We were the first site to prove definitively that the government orchestrated 9/11, back on the afternoon of September 12th," said Darrin Smart of MacrameFuture.com (formerly TheReallySmart911Website.org). "In the meantime, we have moved on to more pressing issues, like sustainable culture to overcome the imminent resource Apocalypse. Cheney's confirmation is welcome, but it's also late and off-point."
Other, more radical conspiracy theorists characterized Mr. Cheney's confession of orchestrating 9/11 on behalf of a group of moneyed imperialists and Bush administration business cronies as "a limited hangout" - a partial revelation of apparently damaging information, in reality designed to cover up the role of yet darker and more powerful forces behind the scenes.
"Cheney is just the same old LIHOP gatekeeper LOL cover-up to prevent the armed revolution that would come immediately, if only Amy Goodman and WorldNetDaily would finally tell the truth that everything that happened on 9/11 was physically impossible," said Frederico Head, spokesperson of DestroyAllGatekeepers.net, a fast-growing nationwide campaign devoted to exposing all other 9/11 conspiracy sites as CIA fronts. (Mr. Head claims to have definitively proven "9/11 was a globalist inside job" by midnight on September 11th.)
"What about the connection to reverse-engineered extraterrestrial flight technologies? When are you going to tell us about that, Mr. Cheney," asked Professor Jonathan U.R. Betters, secretary-general of Endoctorated Experts for 9/11 Truth, a group claiming 3.5 million accredited scientists as members.
"Cheney is paving the way for his true masters in a Hegelian dialectic - problem, reaction, solution," said Richard Stones, Supreme Leader of the Total MIHOP Warriors Alliance and host of the "Galactic Deathcamp" radio program. "Before you celebrate that 9/11 has been exposed, remember that the UN-led Chinese Army is poised along the Mexican border. This is all leading inevitably to a one-world government by Jimmy Carter, Hillary Clinton, Nelson Mandela, George Soros, Gorbachev, Zionists, euthanasiasts, Freemasons and Bilderbergers. And make no mistake: They will take our guns away!"
Radio talk kingpin Rush Limbaugh shot back in kind, describing 9/11 as a "necessary sacrifice" and "a gift" to the American people, and saying it was a shame that Mr. Stones was not also among the victims of the attacks. "Most of those killed were Democrat defeatists who would have otherwise been massacred in even greater numbers by the Islamofascist animals. And now these lily-livers have the gall to attack President Bush's team because they acted too boldly to protect them," Mr. Limbaugh said.
According to Mr. Limbaugh, Mr. Cheney's bombshell proves that the Bush administration has prevented any foreign attack on the American homeland throughout its entire term in office.
A caller from Ohio typified sentiments among Mr. Limbaugh's listeners: "Okay, so it was an inside job. The liberals need to shut up about it. We pay our leaders to know more and better than we do."
Law and Orderly,
Business Proceeds ApaceNew York Stock Exchange indices rallied starting Tuesday morning, spurred by the perception that Mr. Cheney's clear statement would end the 9/11 conspiracy speculations that had undermined consumer confidence. Arms-makers, security companies and pharmaceuticals led the way. The aerospace sector spiked again Thursday after Warren Buffet's surprise announcement that he and his financial empire would relocate headquarters from Omaha to a new mansion aboard the International Space Station.
But the Dow Jones Average was down again Friday, on the heels of a world-wide plunge in the US dollar. Manhattan shoppers seemed unperturbed as canned goods, first-aid kits and crank-powered radio/flashlight sets flew off the shelves. Talk of a possible World Series appearance for the New York Mets filled the EPA-certified air.
At the offices of Eliot Spitzer, the attorney general of New York state, staff members declined to say whether Mr. Cheney's revelations suggest probable cause for a criminal investigation. A spokesman noted only that Mr. Cheney's comments did not constitute a legal deposition. Mr. Spitzer, on the campaign trail for New York governor, was unavailable for comment.
In Chicago, federal prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald announced his crack team would launch an inconclusive three-year investigation to determine whether Cheney had illegally revealed any state secrets during last Tuesday's press conference.
Leave it to veteran journalist Geraldo Rivera to put the big picture in proper perspective. "One question still has all of America abuzz," he said Wednesday at the top of
Geraldo at Large, his half-hour daily program. "Do we have any news about pretty Natalie Holloway, missing for almost two years since she was last seen drinking and dancing at a teenie-bopper bar in Aruba? We'll be wading into the shark-infested waters of the Carribbean, right after the break."
Ya gotta love America!
(ends)
Copyright © 2006 by THE MAJOR NEWSWIRE SERVICE. All rights reserved. If you can't figure out satire, this disclaimer will be of little help to you.
(DU MODS - above text is mine. Thanks. "JR")
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