Boffins issue stealth comet apocalypse alert

[bemildred]

Not content with scaring us half to death with dire predictions about killer comets, asteroids, tsunamis, plagues, global warming, floods, locusts and general pestilence, scientists have now discovered a new threat to humanity - the invisible killer comet.

According to the Independent, a team led by Chandra Wickramasinghe at Cardiff University's Centre for Astrobiology says that the chances of Earth being wiped off the celestial map are much greater than previously thought because of the presence of giant invisible comets "made up of loose material reflect so little light that they cannot be seen".

Avoiding the natural desire to panic, professor Wickramasinghe remained calm enough to say: "It's possible we need to think again about mitigating strategies," although he did not elaborate as to whether these strategies might include deploying Bruce Willis to destroy the comet with his bare hands (if he can find it) or simply retiring to the nearest piece of high ground, getting completely drunk and hoping that you'll escape the blast, the subsequent tsunami, the nuclear winter which would undoubtedly follow during which space microbes would destroy 94 per cent of survivors* in the manner of the Andromeda Strain.

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[sister moon]

1. Damn those scientists! n/t

[JaySherman]

2. Imo, that would be a merciful end.

Considerably better than continuing to live under the hatred and evil that defines our little blue world now.

[havocmom]

3. Almost enough to make this old agnostic a believer

Surly, if God exists, she would see it was time to clean the slate and try a different experiment on this little sphere.

[htuttle]

4. That's what the flu is for

[bemildred]

5. Yes, but comets leave less sticky residue. nt

[havocmom]

6. LOL, thanks, I needed that! (n/t)