More * jokes: How dumb is * ?

[mwooldri]

I remember this old one but it is a goodie. I'm sure it's duplicated but anyway...

HOW DUMB IS GEORGE W. BUSH?

G.W.Bush was very depressed that people were saying he is stupid. So he calls his good friend Queen Elizabeth, who says, "Now George, what you need to do is to surround yourself with smart people. Let me show you."

She calls Tony Blair in and asks, "Tony, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

Tony Blair replies, "It's me!"

So G.W. calls Dick Cheney and says, "Dick, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

And Cheney says, "Wow, that's a tough one. Let me get back to you."

So Cheney calls Colin Powell and says, "Colin, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

And Colin Powell says, "It's me!"

So Cheney calls Bush and says, "It's Colin Powell."

And Bush says, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

Source: http://www.kaos2000.net/archives/backpages/bushdumb.html

[GrpCaptMandrake]

1. That's a classic!

Thanks for bringing it back onto my "current" brain.

:rofl:

[begin_within]

2. Mmm Hmmh. OK, tell me the rest. - GWB

[mokawanis]

3. Great joke! n/t

[The Animator]

4. I heard this one at work...

In an effort to combat the flood waters plaguing New Orleans, G. W. Bush has ordered the construction of a dam... in Arizona.

When reporters reactions were a mix of confusion and skepticism, President Bush patiently continues, "See the plan it is to fight the flood waters over there, so we don't have to fight them here."

[mwooldri]

5. ehe :) I like.

... however I think President Hoover beat GWB to that one.

[thereismore]

10. it's from the Daily Show. n/t

[LastDemocratInSC]

6. Here's another ...

Bush calls Cheney and tells him that he has started working jigsaw puzzles to take his mind off all the messes he has created. He tells Cheney how proud he is that he finished his first puzzle in record time. "Oh?", says Cheney, "How do you know it was in record time?" Bush says, "Because the puzzle box says 5 to 7 years and I finished it in just 2 months!"

Cheney sighs and starts to tell Bush what "5 to 7 years" really means but decides to not complicate the situation. He does, however, ask if Bush has started a new jigsaw puzzle.

"Why yes, Dick, I have started a new puzzle but I can't make any sense of it." Cheney asks why he doesn't understand it and Bush says, "None of the pieces fit together. I've got all the pieces out of the box on my desk and nothing matches up. They just don't fit at all!" Cheney, sensing Bush's frustration, says "Well, George, you can always get some clues about the puzzle from the picture on the front of the puzzle box. Look at the box and tell me what's on it."

Bush looks at the box and says, "The box has a beautiful picture of a big red rooster." Cheney thinks for a moment and then says, "Now, George, before anyone sees anything, put all the cornflakes back in the box."

[prescole]

7. Man dies and goes to heaven...

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's President Bush's clock?" asked the man.

"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

[politicat]

8. So Cheney walks into the Oval Office one day and finds Bush

wearing a pair of headphones. "George, you have to take those off. You've got a press conference coming up, and you'll look like an idiot if you're wearing headphones."

Bush shakes his head. "I can't take them off. Karl told me to put them on and leave them on, and he said if I took them off, I'd die."

"George, he was fucking with you. Take them off. You won't die." After some further convincing, Bush finally takes off the headphones, and then promptly falls over, thrashes about for a bit, and dies.

Cheney picks up the headphones, a bit worried about whatever Karl had done, and wanting to make sure it's not actionable. He gives a listen, and hears, "Breathe in..... Breathe out. Breathe in..... Breathe out. Breathe in.... Breathe out."

[joefree1]

9. Piling on

As the President is getting off the helicopter in front of the White House, he has a baby pig under each arm.

The Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes, and says: "Nice pigs,sir."

The President replies: "These are not pigs, these are authentic Texan
Razorback Hogs. I got one for VP Cheney, and I got one for Defense
Secretary Rumsfeld."

The Marine again snaps to attention, salutes, and replies, "Nice trade, sir

http://www.ediablo.com/ediablojokes.html

[joefree1]

11. More?

Little Hannah on the corner holding a box. Curious, he
runs over and says, "What's in the box, kid?"
Little Hannah says, "Kittens, they're brand new
kittens."
Bush laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?"
"Republicans", says Little Hannah.
"Now that's cute", Bush says and goes on his way.
A few days later, Bush is running with the Vice
President Cheney and he spies Little Hannah with her
box just ahead.
He says to Dick, "You gotta check this out.", and they
both jog over to Little Hannah.
Bush says, "Look in the box Cheney. Isn't that cute?
Hey, kid, tell my friend what kind of kittens they
are."
Little Hannah replies, "They're Democrats."
"Whoa!", Bush says, "I came by here the other day and
you said they were Republicans. What's up?"
"Well", Little Hannah explains, "their eyes are open
now."

[prescole]

12. Cheney...RUNNING?

Get some new tires for that crash cart.