New - "BRAINSHRINK" capsules available OTC!

[Snoggera]

Do you have a persistent desire to hear the truth?
YOU may benefit from the incredible action of new BRAINSHRINK!

Have you woken up during the night in a cold sweat thinking about your children's future?
YOU may no longer have to suffer such terrible thoughts when you begin using the powerful, new BRAINSHRINK!

Have you had conversations with your loved ones or co-workers that ended up in heated argument due to your errant belief system?

YOU will be amazed at how BRAINSHRINK allows you to get along with all your family and friends. NEVER have another argument!

*BRAINSHRINK has been shown to commonly cause the following side effects, and should be considered indicators of its success in alleviating your symptoms of illness:

1) You will likely suffer a severe drop in creativity. This is not a temporary result, but will cause you to be happier in pursuits less "confusing"

2) You may have a somewhat glazed-over look, and have difficulty blinking. This is known as the Pickles effect, and should be taken as a sign of the success of this magnificent medication.

3) You may have problems in making decisions. Our studies have shown that a daily dose of at least 2 hours of network news twice daily will assist you in making critical, daily decisions.

Testimonials from our satisfied customers!

Jerry in Waupeka:
I never realized what a difference, uh, what was I saying?

Mildruck in Talookavania:
Yes.

Granberry in Saskatedo:
I now know what I think! I have a tv in every room. BRAINSHRINK has saved me from being confused about everything from world events to whether or not I should eat borsht for breakfast.

There you have it! Three people can't be wrong! Now, rush out to your local Walmart and purchase your own amazing, miracle BRAINSHRINK!

***disclaimer: The owners and purveyors of BRAINSHRINK are in no way responsible for your actions should you cease taking the recommended dosage.