Stupid Roomate Stories thread.

[DrWeird]

My college roomate was a history major. We were both big Mariners fans and we had Ken Griffey Slugfest (?) for his N64. We used to play season after season on the thing.

One fine spring afternoon he comes home while I'm trying to make a trade for Barry Bonds. He looks rather disgruntled as he sat down to play a doubleheader. Apparently he just had his big final for his WWII history class, his adviser and favorite professor the instructor.

Bottom of the ninth. He's up, 4-1. I've got a runner on first, no outs.

He turns to me and says, "So... You know who Eisenhower was, right?"

Single. Runners on first and second.

"Sure," says I,"Dwight Eisenhower. Supreme Allied Commander, European theater, WWII."

Rickey Henderson pops out.

"Thirty... fourth president of the United States. 1953 to..."

A-rod hits a single. Bases loaded.

"ninteen sixty...one."

My custom built slugger "Elephant Sak" steps up to the plate.

"Shit," curses my roomate.

Swing and a miss.

"God dammit. Shit."

Swing and a miss.

"I put he was an important Japanese admiral."

I don't remember who won the game.

[JohnyCanuck]

1. That's right

And General Yamamoto was the Supreme Allied Commander who later went on to become President Yamamoto, 34th President of the USA.

[daveskilt]

2. my room mate used to complain all the time

his dad cut his allowance to $40 a week (after his dad paid all his tuition, food, housing and paid for his car and gas card) This meant he had to save for 5 weeks to buy the stereo he wanted. His dad was teaching him responsibility and he complained to me bitterly about this injustice for all 5 of those weeks.

At the time I was on a student Visa and paying my way through school with a small savings account from a year spent working construction and a $5 and hour night shift custodial job (the only one I could legally have as a non american on campus) I ate only by working a second dishwashing job a couple of hours a day where I got to take home leftover food.

He genuinly never understood why he irritated me so much until he moved back to Orange County.

Oh he also was surprised to learn that Scotland was not in fact a town next to France on continental Europe, that France was not part of the Soviet Union, and that English was my first language.

wanker.

[Red_Viking]

3. My ancestors were Scots

Well, they were Scottish eventually, starting out as Norse Vikings who liked your country and decided to stick around. The Isle of May in the Firth of Forth is named for them, or so I'm told. I have the red hair to back up my claim to Scottish ancestry. :)

Three years ago, I was able to visit Edinburgh for a few days. Found the family tartan--the Mays were part of the Macdonald clan--and generally fell in love with the place. Beautiful. I was able to take my daughter, who was 10 at the time. We both adored it and want to visit again.

OK, I'm done fawning!

PS--I lived at home during college, so no crazy roommate stories. Sorry! The only insane roommate I had was well after college. She drank all my Ouzo, a gift from a friend who traveled to Greece, and stole about $350 from me. And, she was nuts. Stole my boyfriend's toothbrush. Never could figure that one out.

:dem:

RV

[Demonaut]

9. is this thread about bush*???

[gyopsy]

4. My roommate had sex in the bed next to mine...

while I was in the room.

His name was Robert and he was an 18 year old black man who was going through some very tough times. He hated the world. He would come into our room at 3:00 in the morning and start playing loud rap music with no consideration towards me at all.

He then later almost killed himself and, in part due to that, finally dropped out of college in his second semester.

I'd like to feel sorry for him but it's very hard on me. :(

[noonwitch]

12. I had a roommate who did the same thing

She had a guy over and screwed him on the floor, when I was sleeping (not for long) on my bed.

I had another roommate who proudly called herself the BJ Queen. She told us a story about how she was at school all summer, so she went to a party for the football team when they were doing their August training. She met one of the incoming freshmen, who she described as very good looking, took him upstairs and gave him a hummer. Afterwards, she told him "Welcome to College". The BJQ was very proud of this. To be honest, she was a very, very nice person, she just liked to give head.

[LTR]

5. My former roommate used to record himself having sex

Only he used a microcassette recorder (you know, the kind used to record lectures). Faint sounds of occasional moaning.

Pretty pathetic if you ask me.

(On edit: Yes, he DID play it back for me.)

[Beaker]

6. the time i tortured my flat-mate...

I was going to be spending the night, and staying over with friends at a college town a couple hours away...
my roomate worked overnights cleaning floors in a grocery store, and was taking his pre-work shower at 2AM when i returned unexpectedly & early from my road trip...
being in the shower, he didn't hear me enter the apartment- i went into my bedroom, donned my black overcoat, a black goalie mask, gloves and black wool hat, as well as picking up a hammer- i went into his room and waited...
the shower stopped, and a few seconds later, the bathroom door opened, and he stepped thru an into his room- head down rubbing his hair with a towel...
when he saw my feet, his head snapped up, but he didn't recognize me as i thrust one gloved hand out and grabbed his throat, and raised the hammer into the air, ready to strike with the other...
his eyes got as big as saucers, he uttered a terrified "oh, NO!" and started to collapse backwards into the bathroom and onto the floor-

I was looking into the eyes of someone who honestly thought that they were about to die...this was over 20 years ago, and i don't remember whether after i pulled off the mask, if he stopped shaking before i stopped laughing -or vice-versa. and i laughed a good long time.

[FDRrocks]

7. Was he a drinker?

Seriously. A history major saying Eisenhower was a Japanese Admiral? Now I'm basically a high school dropout and I could tell you what the hell he was. I thank him everytime I get on the highway :)

[Endangered Specie]

8. Actually, you have to thank the Germans for that...

Germans built the original modern Highway or the Autobahn - once called Hitler's Road (from which we copied, when Eisenhower rolled into Germany on it)

[daveskilt]

11. for that matter thank the scots and the romans

the scots for tarmacadam (called asphalt in the US - invented by a scotsman) and the romans who invented cambered roads without which the modern highway would crumble and need repairs every few months - oh wait thats I-85 and I 15 and...

[tsakshaug]

10. my roomate

One guy thought of him self as a sports expert. we would watch boxing on Saturdays on tv. (this was pre-cable days) We would do little bets on the match. I would always win the bets. He could never figure out how I knew more than him about boxing. These matches were taped. I would read the paper during the week and look at the boxing results, sometimes cut them out so I knew the results. I would usually make $25 a week off the guy