I rear ended a car this morning...what a great start of a bad day.

[newcriminal]

The other driver got out of the car, and he was a dwarf.
He looked up at me and said, "I am not happy!"
So, I said,"which one are you then?"

That's how the fight started.

[ohiosmith]

1. So,.....which one was he?

:shrug:

[Recovered Repug]

8. Apparently, he was Grumpy. nt

[pokerfan]

2. So the wife walks in

and asks me whats on the telly.
I replied, "Dust."

That's how the fight started.

[rug]

3. My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said,"Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

That's how the fight started.

[bluedigger]

4. My wife was mad at me and threatened to cut me off.

I told her she couldn't, because she didn't know where I was getting it.

That's how the fight started.

[kayakjohnny]

5. My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds. So, I bought her a scale.
And that's how the fight started.....

[Ptah]

6. I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
“I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”"

Nah, she can order for herself.”

And that's how the fight started…

[ohiosmith]

7. My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,

and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She was my senior year girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And that's when the fight started....

[mikeytherat]

9. Three blondes walked into a bar. I yelled out, "I thought at least one of you would have seen it."

That's how the fight started.

mikey_the_rat

[GreenPartyVoter]

10. Oh, man! This is a funny thread!

[Recovered Repug]

11. As you know it's been really hot in Texas all summer.

Since it was too hot to wear clothes, I asked my wife what the neighbors would think if they saw me mowing the lawn naked. She said "They'll think I married you for your money."

And that how the fight started.