Haiku: A Tribute to the Florida Driver

[Dappleganger]

Turn signal-less jerk!
Are you trying to kill me?
Put down the damn phone!

[kentauros]

1. That was good!

I think it could apply almost anywhere, too ;)

You ought to watch Top Gear whenever they take one of their weird treks across some out of the way country. Invariably, the driving habits of the other drivers comes up. I've been watching my backlog on my DVR all week, so I'm getting this likely confused, but it's either the Syrian drivers or the Albanians that they thought were the absolute worst! As in, literally not looking where they were going :o

~~~

Nope, I was wrong on Syria and Albania. It was the Jordanians. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mnr0Z9M6fTY

[Dappleganger]

2. The spotlights are gone, gone!

People not staying in their lanes drives me NUTS.

FL is the worst; we lived in NE briefly during our marriage and I swear that was easy compared to down here. Typically the biggest culprits in my experience are soccer moms in their SUV's, completely oblivious to anyone else as they slowly veer out of their lane while chatting on the cell phone with their bff.

Our family words are "Anticipate the Stupid."

[Mopar151]

3. You have just described the scourge of New England driving n/t

[sarge43]

4. Yes.

A Masshole damn near killed my spousal unit. Optimum road conditions, SU on his scoot careful as always, Hole has cell jammed in ear, running mouth, turns right in front of SU. He flips across Hole's hood and does a whirlygig down the verge. Praise the maker, SU always wears full safety gear else I'd be the Widow Sarge.

The lethal idiots can't be limited to one area or group. We all got 'em.

[kentauros]

5. Although, y'all have a higher prevalence of trains.

In general, drivers in areas with trains and trolleys understand how to drive around them. Houston drivers, on the other hand, don't seem to be too aware of anything around them, even massive light-rail vehicles:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CV2rdGX4JYc

[sarge43]

6. Put a rotating red light in the foreground of that video and

you'd have the opening credit run of Police Squad.

[kentauros]

8. In Color!

:rofl:

[sarge43]

14. All that's missing is the women's locker room and the Dunkin' Donuts. n/t

[struggle4progress]

7. Haikus for NC Drivers

Five have already
run the frickin redlight here
so why not me too?

Look! That's my exit!
But I'm in the left lane!
Exit right anyway!

[kentauros]

10. Additional "Exit" Haiku:

There's the exit
I just missed
Back-up on shoulder to exit!

[RebelOne]

20. Oh no! That also applies to Georgia drivers. n/t

[struggle4progress]

9. Haiku for Massachusetts drivers

Big red octogon!
What in the world does that mean?
I'll just beep and wave

[kentauros]

12. Holding back laughter

here at work
Almost giggling!

:rofl:

[Dappleganger]

17. OMG, that is awesome!

[struggle4progress]

11. Haiku for Texas drivers

You drive the limit
and I'll shoot at you for fun!
Ask questions later

[nolabear]

13. Haiku for Seattle Drivers

My car, electric
is better than your guzzler.
Smug disdain my green fuel.

[sarge43]

15. Haiku for northern NE drivers

Middle of rud
Hold town meetin
Screw you leafpeeper

[MorningGlow]

18. Bwaaahaaa

OMG you nailed it, Sarge. :rofl:

I live in a rural village--on a main road (there are only two). My neighbors across the street know EVERYbody--lived here all their lives, been in the same house for 33 years, the wife used to be mayor etc. They "hold court" from their front porch with walkers and drivers alike. Drivers stop in the middle of the road to talk to them (usually while staying the driver's seat...of a pickup cab, naturally). If we're lucky, they move closer to the house (which of course means pointing east in the westbound lane); if we're not, they just shout over two lanes. Most exciting--when pickups in BOTH directions stop to talk to them AND each other.

Through-traffic? What's that?
:rofl:

[sarge43]

19. Our neighbor is one of those. Every NE town has at least one.

Her family settled here before the Native Americans. She knows everyone and is related to a fair share of them. When she's home, at least two trucks are always parked in the rud in front of the house and a crowd parked on the front porch.

Through traffic? Join the meetin, cousin or go around us, flatlander.

[gratuitous]

16. A haiku for Oregon drivers

Forecast is for snow
Traffic halted everywhere
Abandon car now!

In honor of the Oregon habit of driving your ill-prepared-for-the-snow vehicle as far as you can, and simply getting out and walking away when you can't go no more. Pull over to the breakdown lane? Naaahh! Don't go out in the first goddam place? But I'm a terrific driver in the snow! It's everyone else who doesn't know how to drive.

[struggle4progress]

21. Another haiku for Texas drivers

Ice on city streets!
Gotta drive eighty or more
to get home faster

[mikeytherat]

22. I see you driving....

I see you driving
'round town with the girl I love
and I'm like, "Haiku!"

mikey_the_rat