How do you fit in when you move to another country?

[Quantess]

[MrScorpio]

1. Marry in an learn their language and customs are the best way

Then again, sometimes you can't or won't

[MiddleFingerMom]

2. Learning their language is the first, BIGGEST and easiest way.

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And "easiest" because you don't have to learn much for it to start working.
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We are so arrogant as a culture that, when in other countries, I've actually HEARD
Americans say these exact words -- "I'm here... let THEM learn English."
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Seriously. Verbatim.
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Those of us who took the effort to try to learn their language were embraced... and
you didn't have to be very fluent -- just a little more than whatever it takes to get
another beer will show the locals of your host country that you're different from the
"usual" American.
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A lot of them will want to know "you", though they're often averse to getting to
know "us".
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[clyrc]

3. Depends on the country

I moved to the United Arab Emirates, and I adapted by becoming greedy, shallow, arrogant and grasping, demanding and very spoiled. My language is the only common one where I live, so I haven't learned any other. I use the atrocious heat as an excuse not to think, or walk, or clean my own house. I talk stink about every other nationality, but most of all about those culturally close to me (those damn Brits.) I go to parties where I talk about the fabulous places I've visited recently, or I complain about how lazy my maid is. It has worked brilliantly well for me.

[Bonobo]

4. Join in.

It's like a dance.

You only THINK they are looking at you.

But then you start dancing and it doesn't matter. You're in the swing.

BTW, I live on a tiny island in Japan. Very insulated.

I joined the fire dept, PTA, started a garden, coaching softball, do clean up volunteer work, etc.

I try to get involved and they love me for it.

[hobbit709]

5. I've learned that if in the local language

You can say please, thank you, how much, where's the bathroom, and hello you can get by fairly easily.
That got me through most of Europe-though I speak a little German and Italian, and parts of the Middle East.

[Courtesy Flush]

6. I'm in my native country and don't fit in.

I always seem to be the outsider in just about any setting. So life in another country would be normal for me.

[DaveJ]

15. I know the feeling!

You aren't alone.

Perhaps there is a personality type which actually enjoys making others feel like outsiders.

[Moondog]

7. When I was doing that sort of thing -

Other than a few places in northern Europe, I tended to stand out no matter what I did, due to my appearance (height, blonde/blue). So fitting in wasn't going to happen, but being accepted might.

What I found to be most helpful was to learn, before arriving, what the cultural taboos were. Once there, I studiously avoided doing those things.

Bona fide attempts to communicate in the local language are always appreciated. So I did that. But I am not, nor shall I ever be, a skilled linguist. After a few sentences, someone would usually start speaking to me in English or German. And I would gratefully respond.

It definitely helps to have a local person introduce you around; if necessary hire someone for a week to fill this role. In some places, one of the first people you want to be introduced to is the local "fixer", if appropriate to the local culture. If your "guide" cannot introduce you to the "fixer", you have the wrong guide. After paying your guide what was agreed (do not haggle over this after the fact, just smile, thank them for their time, and pay up), hire another one who can.

After that, it is simply a matter of treating people as you would wish to be treated, and going on about your business.

This approach worked fairly well for me in several locations on three continents.

[bikebloke]

8. I tend to blend in.

Locals are always asking me for directions. At least in Europe, Australia, New Zealand and Israel. Even in Turkey, a Turkish woman came up to me speaking Turkish. In Asia and South America, I don't pass for a local. Probably my gait.;)

[Brickbat]

9. Dress to not stand out. Don't call attention to yourself. Shop where the locals do.

Speak the language.

[trof]

12. Definitely. Leave the Aloha shirts at home.

And the plaid Bermudas.
"Everyday" Western Europeans (NOT Paris and Milan fashion models) tend to dress in darker or muted tones.
Leave the cowboy boots at home, too.
:-)

[Skittles]

10. I've done it a few times

you just don't act like an asshole and you'll be fine

[tigereye]

17. there you are!

:thumbsup:

[Zorra]

20. +1. Learning the language and about the culture help also.

[freshwest]

11. Marry a native.

[trof]

13. "Blending in" in Japan is difficult to impossible.

I worked for a Japanese corporation for 10 years.
I like the Japanese people (generally) and made some good friends among co-workers.
But blend in?
Nope.

I was always 'The American Friend', or, to close friends and jokingly(?) 'The Round Eye'.

I'm not Japanese and never will be.
Not that I'd ever want to be, but, to my knowledge, there's no way I could ever become a naturalized citizen.
A homogeneous population?
You bet.

Funny story:
I was walking in San Francisco with a Japanese colleague.
A couple of tourists asked him for directions to some local spot.
He deferred to me and I helped them out.
Afterwards he laughed.
"In Tokyo?...NO ONE EVER ask YOU for directions."
Point taken.
:-)

[pitohui]

14. yeah i've had family in japan for over 20 years

i don't think they worry about fitting in, altho they speak the language since they work there

there is nothing wrong w. being the "different" or unusual or interesting person

i would never dream of trying to fit in, when visiting there, it's cute to have strangers come up to me and want to have their picture taken with me because i'm strange!

be who you are, there is nothing wrong with "standing out"

some of us weren't born to fit in

hell, as another poster said, i don't even fit in at home, why should i fit in outside my home? :-) people in new orleans think i'm damn strange too but not strange enough to have their picture made with me!

[hayu_lol]

16. Having lived and worked in 38 countries...

one of the most important things to learn is how not to offend the locals or break their laws. Learn a little of their language...at least the polite forms...and try to increase your vocabulary so that real communication can begin.

You make an effort and they will almost always meet you halfway.

[Skittles]

18. LOL

being physically different is another challenge! When I was in rural Sicily, I got quite a few stares. People who saw me didn't guess I was American - they thought Swedish, English, Canadian, etc. The curiosity got to one elderly man who approached me and said, "You are from where?" When I replied, "Stati Uniti" he hollered, "You are THIN for American woman!" and bellowed laughter. His mortified wife dragged him away. :D

[Philippine expat]

19. Having had this experience

there are a few things that really help, such as
Learning the language, even a little bit helps
Try local foods
DO NOT complain about local customs just because you find them strange or even annoying
Integrate yourself into your community
And if you move to a poor country NEVER flaunt your wealth
Oh, and never argue local politics