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. . . While in Germany, I and my two buddies used to frequent this GREAT little Czech gasthaus. The customers were half Germans and half Czechoslovakians... and us -- the only Americans we ever saw in the joint (except for one drunken slob of a staff sergeant who, upon seeing us come in, rushed over and told us how glad he was to see somebody "other than these damn 'Rads" -- 'Rads being a derogatory term for Germans -- originally derived from "comrades" as in EAST German soldiers). . . We literally and physically kicked his ass out onto the street. These folks were friends of ours and had been very VERY nice to us. They were ALL refugees from the Russian invasion of 1968 and were both very very sad & homesick and laughed more than just about any group of people I've ever known. They were also EXTREMELY kind and compassionate. . . EXCEPT during one of my "Czech lessons". There weren't many single women in this bar -- EXPECIALLY not our age of 18 or so. Mama & Papa brought their CUTE daughter in for dinner and I... not ever letting an opportunity for adventure slip by... ingratiated myself into a seat at their table. . They didn't speak English. I didn't speak any Czech. We all spoke a little German. . I decided to go old school and ask the parents if I could take their daughter out to dinner sometime. I excused myself and asked my Czech buddies how to say that. After about 5 minutes of INTENSE practice, I went back to their table and repeated what I had been taught to them. . They looked angry and QUICKLY bundled up their daughter and left posthaste. . They must have had NO sense of humor whatsoever. My Czech fucking "buddies" were all HOWLING and slapping each other on the back. What had I said? . . . . . . . . "Your daughter has breasts like the Alps." . . . . . . . Later, I was able to laugh about it, too. . . . . . . Much....... MUCH later. . . . . . . . . . . Oh!!! The only Czech I'll ever need to know? . . Prosimte muzesh mir dat jedno pivo. (spelled horrendously, I would imagine) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Please give me one more beer." . . .
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