CNN CALIFORNIA - CaliforniaPeggy, author of "The Coffee Table Trilogy" of books featuring her photography and poetry ("F-Stops & F-Bombs," "And The Horse You Rode In On," and "F CK - The Only Thing Missing Is YOU"), recently shattered all attendance records at her Tuesday open mic performance. A crowd of 100 to 200 people was expected, instead, proprietors of the cafe hosting the event were stunned to see 4800 eager patrons lined up outside prior to opening on Tuesday morning at 5 AM.
"This is the kind of crowd that would show up for Kerouac, Ginsberg...this is unbelievable," said cafe owner Sid Dithers. "People love those books...some come just to experience that moment when she drops the first f-bomb of the evening. You can tell that it's a crowd of all ages because some people in the back are always chanting that "roof, roof, roof" thing from the old Arsenio Hall show."
Local off-duty police officers assisted the riot squad in managing the crowd, which was reasonably well-behaved until halfway through CaliforniaPeggy's set, when she performed a dramatic reading of Paul Anka's classic "My Way," a massive hit for both Frank Sinatra and Elvis Presley. She softly spoke the words, keeping a slow and deliberate pace to the reading, and when she spoke the lines "The record shows...I took the blows...," the lights gradually went down to complete darkness and at full-throated volume she declared "I DID IT MY FUCKING WAY," upon which a strategically-placed mirror ball sent shards of light throughout the room and Peggy, wielding a baseball bat, whacked open a pinata that sent clouds of silver confetti throughout the crowd.
"At that point, the crowd just lost it," said Deputy Dan DeMann. Things were going nice and smooth up to that point but after the pinata thing it was like Woodstock, with everyone ignoring the announcement about the brown acid. We used tasers, pepper spray, cattle prods and fire hoses, and within an hour people had returned to their seats and Peggy finished her set without further incident. Well, I take it back. There was one more incident."
After the show, an audience member yelled out to Peggy that she was the new "Lizard Queen," unseating famed Doors frontman Jim Morrison, who dubbed himself "The Lizard King." Peggy replied "Morrison? MORRISON? THAT P***Y? FUCK MORRISON," which led Deputy DeMann to signal his men to venture into the crowd once again, this time with K9 dogs trained to kill with a single voice command. There were no fatalities but 300 patrons were transported to the local city jail, and then released with a stern warning due to the facility's severe overcrowding in the wake of budget cuts.
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YIKES! It's OPEN MIC!Pictured above: CaliforniaPeggy, moments before local police sent K9 dogs into the unruly crowd attending her open mic night.