It's Skittles in Australia!!!

[kentauros]

A Large Can Of Whoop-Ass And A Side Of Just Desserts
Restaurant | Australia

(Around my restaurant area a lot of kids hang out, most of whom are the unfavorable type. This day in particular, one of them decides to open the door and swear at everyone inside.)

Kid: “All of you are fucking bitches!”

(We ignore it and try to continue work as if nothing happened.)

Kid: “Fuck you, fucking pigs!”

(We ignore it again and this repeats for another two times. I am getting very annoyed.)

Kid: “Girls should stay in the kitchen!”

Me: “Hey, stop that or I’ll call security.”

Kid: *looks at me up and down* “Whatever, I bet you want to do me, don’t you?”

(The kid continues to talk dirty and make gestures to me, so I cut it off there.)

Me: “Get out of here before I start breaking your legs.”

(The kid looks shocked, probably because he didn’t expect anyone to snap back at him. He runs away. My co-worker, boss and everyone else in the restaurant applaud and we get back into business. About 20 minutes later, the kid comes back with his mother.)

Mother: “Look, my son told me you threatened to break his legs! I’m reporting you to the police!”

Me: “Did he also tell you he was harassing us?”

Mother: “He told me he was talking to people when you–” *pushes index finger into my chest* “–threatened to break his legs!”

Me: “I can tell you, now, Ma’am. He was harassing me and the costumers.”

Mother: “Lies! I’ll charge you for threatening a child!”

Me: “Yes, then I’ll sue him for harassment, sexual harassment and disturbing the peace.”

(The mother looks at the kid with horror on her face but doesn’t give up just yet.)

Mother: “You have no proof my son did that! I’ll charge you for psychological damages!”

Me: “I have plenty of proof on our cameras.” *I point to camera in the back corner, and then to the one at the front* “I also have a room full of witnesses who can give testimony on what he said and did.”

Mother: *stands on her spot stunned*

Me: “So do you want your can of whoop-ass here, or shall I serve it to you in court?”


:evilgrin:

[siligut]

1. Some Callers Are Proper Dementor

Call Center | Racine, WI, USA
(I have a caller named Victor Krumm in the computer system. I’m a Harry Potter fan.)

Me: “Okay sir, so you’re Victor Krumm?”

Caller: “Yep, that’s me.”

Me: “Sorry this might sound funny, but did you know that there’s a book series called Harry Potter with a character with that name?”

(There’s a pause, as if he’s thinking, and suddenly he yells.)

Caller: “THE MUGGLES KNOW!”

(He hangs up. His wife calls a little while later to actually schedule.)


Thanks for the link, this site is hilarious!

[kentauros]

2. Yes, it is a favorite site for Call Center people :)

There are stupid customers the world over! Although Americans do dominate that category ;)

Lost In No Translation
Coffee Shop | The Hague, Netherlands

(A lost-looking tourist enters the shop.)

Tourist: “Do any of y’all speak American?”

Me: *joking* “I’m sorry, but we can only speak English.”

Tourist: “Okay, sorry to bother you.” *leaves*

:rofl: