Mid-life crisis?

[ramapo]

or what do I want to be when I grow up?

I need to give myself a kick in the ass to move on to a new challenge in life but find myself stuck and unable to get moving.

I've been in the IT field for about 20 years and have been absolutely bored for the last 3-4 years. I was fortunate enough to have started up a small hardware/consulting company with a couple of partners about 10 years ago and have done more than ok. Business has of course declined substantially but we're hanging in there. But I'm kind of stuck with the responsibility of the business as well as the need to see my kids through another 5 years of college.

I've thought about going back to school as perhaps that'd help me get involved in something more in tune with my interests, which are the environment, govt policy, history, and social issues. But I'm not sure that's the answer.

What I find distressing is that I've always had a goal of what to do next and an idea of how to get there. I now find myself just kind of drifting around in a circle. I feel like I'm wasting my time and am angry at myself for not doing something about it while also thinking maybe I'm just being an overly self-indulgent jerk.

Any advice from older DUers who have been through a mid-life transition?

[BlueEyedSon]

1. I have no idea!

I'm in the same boat, except I am a dot-com casualty, celebrating my 3rd anniversary of "freedom". My issue is that I never "worked" for the money. I just did my job (sometimes 100 hrs a week at the startup) and got paid real well. Now all my alternatives look like "work"... yuck!

If you need a partner in your environmentally conscious/socially responsible project, let me know. :)

BES

[demnan]

2. Me too!

I thought I wanted to do programming but unless I want to move to India and make $10,000 a year I might not be able to get a job in a few years.

[mhr]

3. I Understand As Well, It Seems That There Are No Attractive Options

Have been unemployed for 46 months and can go back to graduate school for free. Yet I am stuck with the idea that it won't matter much at my age or in this climate of outsourcing. I can see spending two to three years pursuing more education only to find that no one needs what I have to offer.

Personally, I feel like I am in a real catch 22 situation. I have done many things in my life already and can do more. Unfortunately, society is telling me I am all washed up and that my natural skills, interests and abilities are of no value any longer.

It is a real dilemma.

[tigereye]

5. i'd go back to school

sometimes school can inspire you to see things and possibilities in a new way. It does matter and you never know what the future may bring.
I myself have fantasized about going back to school for music and you know how practical that is!

[ramapo]

8. I do know

I was a music major for three years in college and then decided I really wasn't good enough, didn't want to be a teacher, and needed a more practical degree. I quick switched to Communications and actually worked for a time in the field before getting into programming.

[bearfan454]

4. Make sure the next thing is lined up before you leave what you have now.

Don't get caught in the middle of the road and have to scramble. I'm 47 and about to make a career change. I have been making circuit boards for the last 20 years. I am going into LVN school. I want a high demand lifetime job until I am too old to work. I won't stop the first one until I know I am in at the 2nd one.

[VOX]

6. Excellent advice!

Always best to have something lined up. Just cutting the cord and drifting along sounds great, but after talking to those who've done that (and regretted it profoundly), it's not the best way to go.

Well said -- :toast:

[ramapo]

7. Thanks

Well it helps to hear from other drifters and know that I'm far from alone.

I have too many responsibilities to cut and run, as attractive as it seems, before having something real to move to. Little problems like maintaining health coverage and paying the college tuition stand in the way of any radical change.

I'd not recommend that anybody plan on becoming a programmer given the way the industry is going. I started out as a programmer trainee in what was a very different world. I thought what a great skill to develop as I'd always be able to get a job.

Fortunately I'm basically self-employed because otherwise I would've been almost surely downsized and being in my late-40s damn near unemployable (except maybe at Wal-Mart).

I'm leaning towards taking a few courses at a local college and see how it goes. If nothing else it should be good for my brain. I don't know if going through the trouble of getting a degree would be at all worthwhile. There just seems to be so few places to really put knowledge to work.

Good luck to all.

[Droopy]

9. I'm 31 and I'm back in school

I was bored with my job, too, and I went back to school to finish up my degree.

I say go for it if you can afford it. It sucks spending so much of your life doing something you hate. I think life's too short for that.