Why do people get upset when someone gets divorced?

[sammytko]

Maybe I'm too practical.

A Facebook friend is all upset cuz someone in her family is separated, but not divorced yet. Linda has been married for 29 years and just doesn't understand why people just don't work at it.

If its over, its over. My niece got divorced last year and we didn't know what was going on, so it was kind of a surprise, but we supported her decision. REally, we stayed out of it. If she wanted to talk, we listened. Turns out her perfect hubby was a 10 yr old in 40 yr old body and she just couldn't take it any longer. She was tired of being the one responsible for the family well-being. She is much better off now and of course ex is living with another woman already. Didn't take him long. He is a momma's boy.

I just think people are afraid to face the fact that they could be next!

I've been divorced twice and I just see those as opportunities to grow.

[miscsoc]

1. It's sad if there are kids involved

I do think all else being equal, you're probably better off with a stable family.

Otherwise, I suppose it's just a cultural-religious thing - til death do us part and all that.

[uncommon]

3. But an unhappy marriage doesn't make a "stable" family.

[TZ]

2. Sometimes it has to do with their personal issues

I've met/heard about couples who probably should have been divorced long ago but for usually religious or other reasons stay married...so when they hear about others doing what they can't or won't do, it makes them resentful.

[Iggo]

4. I've never been married, so I'll be careful here...

...and first speak from the perspective of a child of divorce.

Near the end, my parents fought. A lot. I don't remember there being any physical violence involved, but there was a lot of yelling and name-calling and stomping off and slamming doors. For a couple of years. It sucked.

They got divorced. It was the right thing to do. I was happy about it then (when I was 12), and I'm even more happy about it today.

That was my first experience with divorce and therefore it's my default position when it comes to hearing that some couple is getting divorced. That maybe they are just done being a couple and maybe their breakup is for the better. Sad that it didn't work out for them, but happy they realize that they need to not be together anymore.

Anyway, like I said...never married.

(I spel gud)

[Orsino]

5. The framing is usually failure...

...rather than, for instance, 29 years of success with the possibility of greater happiness down the line.

Sometimes there's very little sadness involved, and we don't always do couples a services by assuming.