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A guy I barely know gave me a CD of his music and told me to listen to it

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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 11:41 AM
Original message
A guy I barely know gave me a CD of his music and told me to listen to it
It's in a style that does nothing for me, and I have very close to zero desire to hear what he has contributed to the genre.

He didn't ask if I wanted to listen to it or ask if I have any interest at all. He just pushed the CD into my hand and asked me to tell him what I think.


Well, buddy, I think you're a rude, pushy asshole, and I think I'll use your CD as a coaster.


WTF? If he'd asked first I would have no problem at all, but the imposition of telling me to listen to it really annoys me. How about if I drop four hundred pages of my short fiction into his lap and demand that he read it. Would that be cool, too?

Or is it only okay to waste other people's time?
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City of Mills Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 11:55 AM
Response to Original message
1. Reminds me of the time
A guy came up to me in the self-serve car wash to see if I'd be interested in buying his demo rap CD...while I'm soaping up my car with the high-pressure hose...I'm not kidding.
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rug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 12:10 PM
Response to Original message
2. You've spent too much time with Rabrrrrr.
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 12:37 PM
Response to Original message
3. Lighten up, yo
I knew this African dude in Santa Barbara. He had a CD of his own music that he was always trying to get everyone to buy. One day I bought the CD, took it home, listened to it, and liked it.

You might like the CD. And anyway, it's not like you can't listen to it while doing other things. :shrug:
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Robeson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 10:30 PM
Response to Reply #3
20. What the ex-broccoli girl said.
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MiddleFingerMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 12:49 PM
Response to Original message
4. Is this guy that you barely know... oh, I dunno... is he perhaps...
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...A CAT !?!?!?!?!?
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 02:27 PM
Response to Original message
5. It took seconds for this to happen, and you're still thinking about it?
You barely know the guy. So why are you giving him the power to piss you off?
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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 05:05 PM
Response to Reply #5
10. I barely know him, but I have to work with him
When I saw him this afternoon, he asked if I'd listened to the disc yet (after receiving it about 10:00 this morning).

When I see him tomorrow, he's going to ask again.


And when I see him on Wednesday, he's going to ask again.


It's not that he has the power to piss me off per se; it's that he's emblematic of (and tapping into) a pushy presumptuousness that I find acutely distasteful.
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Systematic Chaos Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 05:11 PM
Response to Reply #10
13. You didn't explain any of this in your OP.
I'm inclined to think I'd be much more on your side, given this new information, than I was when I made my initial response below.

Good luck with this. It does sound uncomfortable.
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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 08:44 PM
Response to Reply #13
18. Oops
I didn't think it was relevant, to be honest, but I see your point.


By the way, would you like to buy a CD?
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carlyhippy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 03:33 PM
Response to Original message
6. This is commonplace at the Venice Beach ocean walk
lots of guys trying to get people to listen to their cd, they will take donations :)
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Roon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 04:05 PM
Response to Original message
7. My buddy got handed a free CD in Boulder once
He listened to it at home and he really likes it.
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CreekDog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 04:25 PM
Response to Original message
8. I used to know a guy that would play his own recorded music on my car's tape deck
whenever he rode in my car. :banghead:

at first, i thought it was a mixed blessing thinking he would shut up so that i would listen to his own music, but then he would constantly interrupt his music to say, "listen to this part!". :eyes:

:wtf:

i got him back by regularly doing an impression of him at parties:

"hi my name is John and here's my favorite song, it's by me."
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Systematic Chaos Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 05:04 PM
Response to Original message
9. Let's see here....
You were given something for next to free. The only reason it's not free is that you've been asked to provide an opinion of it after listening.

If you like it, you have something which will enrich your life even if only in a small way.

If you dislike it, then it will only take a minute or two of your time to explain -- quoting your own words -- "It's in a style that does nothing for me."

You don't need to tell him that he sucks as an artist. You only have to say that the genre itself isn't much to your taste, and therefore you're not the best person to judge its relative merits.

In both of these scenarios, someone stands to either benefit, or at worst not be made to feel bad. So, why turn this into such a horrible and negative experience? :shrug:
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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 05:07 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. Because it deliberately forces the recipient into a socially awkward situation
If he were a guy on a subway whom I'll never see again, no big deal.

But I'll have to deal with him daily for the foreseeable future, so I resent being put into the position of having to give an opinion on something of no interest to me but which can potentially make me look like a jerk.


And if you think I'm reading too much into the situation, then I submit that you've never actually been in a similar situation.
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Demoiselle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 06:11 PM
Response to Reply #11
15. Um, I've been in similar situations...
Listen to as much of it as you can stand, and let him know that you're not particularly knowledgeable/interested in the genre, and beg off making any critical comments.
Some suggested phrasing...which I have used...."I'm not all that into hiphop/reggae/ rap/ whatever, so I'm absolutely the worst person to ask....but good luck to you!"
That's not gonna make you look like a jerk.
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jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 05:09 PM
Response to Original message
12. Geddy Lee is always doing that to me.
Freaking moron. I can't turn on the radio or go to a record store without him showing up and sayin "Listen to my crappy music. Maybe you'll like it this time."

At least Danald Fagen eventually got the hint.
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Systematic Chaos Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 05:13 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. Slamming Rush AND Steely Dan?
You still upset over that whole Milli Vanilli lip synch thing? Lose your Justin Bieber concert tickets?

What?

:P
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jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 10:25 PM
Response to Reply #14
19. Rush, Steely Dan, Milli Vanilli, and Justin Beiber.
Couldn't think of a more appropriate grouping. :P
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 06:12 PM
Response to Original message
16. It's part of the screw-etiquette entitetlement-based culture America is devolving into.
People seem not to ask so much any more, as tell, and then assume that whoever they're telling to do something has to do it or THAT person is rude.

"Do this for me, or else I will call you a very rude person for not doing it".

I prefer politeness. Ask me first.

I hate pushiness, especially when it's something like "Tell me what you think of me". Egads!

As you said in a later post, it forced you into an awkward social situation.

But, on the other hand, you might like the disc. And if you don't like it, you might very well enjoy the honesty with which you can critique it to the rude guy. :D
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Curmudgeoness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 06:40 PM
Response to Original message
17. Yes, he is rude. But I think he is just so proud of his CD.
Sometimes, people get caught up in something that they are excited about. You have had good advice here, to just be gracious and let him know that you don't know anything about the genre and you are the worst person to have asked. Gracious. You don't have to be as rude as he is.
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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-10 12:32 AM
Response to Reply #17
22. That's a good summary of some good answers, but...
What little I do know about this guy, from observing his sort of "professorial" tone when speaking with others, I predict that he will take it upon himself to "educate" me in the finer points of the genre if I reveal that I don't know anything about it.
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Curmudgeoness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-10 06:55 PM
Response to Reply #22
26. Oh goody, sounds like a lot of fun. I would be very very busy
with my work (that is why I'm there, right?) and would not have time to listen to it----for months. Hopefully he would forget about it by the time I was "caught up".
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dembotoz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-10 11:36 AM
Response to Reply #17
25. pretty much agree.
just tell him it is not your taste.

my father loved the recently decesased Mitch Miller--all the albums-watched the show etc.
was like fingernails on a chalk board for me.....
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petronius Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-02-10 10:33 PM
Response to Original message
21. Tell him that it was really good, but the only way he's going to break through is with
a 24/7 commitment and that he should immediately quit his day job and be a full-time musician...
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Duer 157099 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-10 12:52 AM
Response to Original message
23. Shoulda told him you were tone deaf and therefore your opinion would be worthless
Explain that tone deaf is the aural equivalent to color blind (I don't know if it is, but it sounds good).
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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-10 01:03 AM
Response to Original message
24. Musicians always do that kinda stuff
I wouldn't worry.
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Rosie1223 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-10 07:11 PM
Response to Original message
27. Tell him you played it and your cat ran away
Then thank him profusely.
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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-10 08:21 PM
Response to Reply #27
29. We have a winnah!
:rofl:
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Rosie1223 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-10 09:06 PM
Response to Reply #29
30. Miss Manners calls me when she's stumped.
:hi:
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Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-10 07:42 PM
Response to Original message
28. give it to Bennyboy
his phone sucks and he needs some tunes!
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