It's my birthday and I believe my relationship is over.

[lildreamer316]

He's done nothing but cuss me out all day. Over nothing; because he's an alcoholic with lots of issues.
I am ready to kick him out.
I swear I'm in hell right now.
Please remind me of this in a year so I can look back and..laugh? Or whatever.
I haven't told anyone except one friend and you guys. He's at work until 3AM. Finally, peace.
Need to go get a nice french Pinot and I think there may be a xanex to take later.
Maybe a birthday means a RE-birth day? Ha.
I'm trying, I swear.

[Haole Girl]

1. Oh, lildreamer316

A birthday can mean a RE-birth. I hope your next year is a better one. You deserve to be happy!!

:hug:

:grouphug:

[lildreamer316]

5. ...

thank you, and you deserve it too.
:hug:

[MorningGlow]

2. Oh honey

I thought things were getting better for you. I'm so sorry. :hug:

Hope you find some peace of mind tonight...and see things clearer in the morning. (But always, always listen to your gut and do what you have to do, y'hear?)

PM me if you want to talk. :hug: :hug: :hug:

[lildreamer316]

6. .....

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[lillypaddle]

3. Take care of YOU on your birthday

You don't deserve that kind of treatment. A year from now he will be a distant memory. Good luck to you.

[lildreamer316]

4. Thank you

lilypaddle; but honestly he won't ever be a distant memory..he's the father of my beautiful baby boy (who is six). We've been together for eight years.
But you are right; I do not deserve this kind of treatment; and I am not going to allow it any longer. No matter what.

[lillypaddle]

10. Sounds like he needs treatent first

Do you go to alanon?

[Brickbat]

22. I hesitate to lecture, but it's coming from a place of I know what I'm saying:

Everything your man does to you teaches your son how to treat women when he gets older. Do it for yourself, but do it for your son and the future women (or men!) in your son's life.

Wishing you a good birthday now and a year from now. :hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. What an awful way to spend your birthday...

My dear lildreamer316...

Hugs to you on your special day...

Re-births are good, and they work too!

:hug: :hug:

[NewJeffCT]

8. I'm sorry to hear about your problems

I hope today is the start of something better for you.

[Lilith Velkor]

9. Aww, I'm sorry.

:hug:

It might not be, though. My besty just went through one of his dick phases for a few weeks, then got better. (He only had one before, but it lasted several months.) But if your man has gotten it into his head that you are his emotional punching bag, then yeah, there's no hope. Last guy who did that to me didn't stop until I made him fear for his life.

[noamnety]

11. Nobody deserves to be treated that way.

(But please don't mix xanax and alcohol!)

[Gormy Cuss]

12. You deserve a better birthday.

I hope that things work out for the best.

[Tobin S.]

13. Kick him out and get rid of him

and don't date any more guys who get drunk on a regular basis. Don't date any more guys who disrespect you. If that happens again, get rid of them; things will only get worse.

[msanthrope]

14. Please do not drink and take xanax.

You kid deserves one sober parent.

[Curmudgeoness]

15. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Kick the asshole out. I did that years ago

and I have never regretted it. Alone ain't half bad most days. And I rarely abuse myself.

[mwdem]

16. I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

Maybe consider this you re-birth day. Better things are on the horizon for you, I'm sure.:hug:

[applegrove]

17. vibes to you for a better life on your birthday.

[City of Mills]

18. I'm sorry...I hope you're right and it is a rebirth day!

Watch the pinot and xanax though...try, try not to drown your sorrows. Let yourself hurt. Have a good cry (if you haven't already). You'll heal faster. Do what you have to do to take care of yourself...sending you some good vibes!

[begin_within]

19. Happy birthday!

[gratuitous]

20. Free advice (and worth every penny)

When you're going through hell, keep going.

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

21. As a person who is recovering from

alcoholism, let me give you some free advice on how to talk to him.
Be blunt, frank and to the point. Something like, 'you're an alcoholic, this is over. Get out (or I'm leaving). Then do it!
Alcoholics like to think the world revolves around them. He will never do the right thing on his own as long as he's practicing alcoholism.

[lildreamer316]

24. Thank You

I plan on doing just that.
Ya know he has a court date for his THIRD DUI tomorrow.
It's time. I love him, but it's time.

[elleng]

23. Get rid of him and have MANY Happy BIrthdays!

Re-Birth indeed!

There is NOTHING to be gained by staying with an active alcoholic; I know.

:thumbsup:

[Capn Sunshine]

25. Hey, Happy Birthday to YOU

Fuck the alkie if he can't take a joke.
Rebirth doesn't just happen on your birthday.

I have a re- birthday coming up Aug 8; I was left for dead and came back from the grave that day.

So put on your favorite tunes and do a happy dance! You deserve it! :hi:

[Iggo]

26. That's some good song-writin'.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

[TorchTheWitch]

27. I'm so sorry sweetie!

PM me if you need to cry or vent or whatever.

So sad that you have to deal with this on your birthday! Do something nice for yourself like a bubble bath or something.

:hug:

[DebJ]

28. Hugs. I went through hell in my prior relationship. Finally

had enough after 17 years.....et voila! Two weeks after I left the jerk, I found the love and partner of my life. Now I only mourn the loss of those years that I could have spent with my new hubby instead of the old jerk....

[old mark]

29. Rather than getting drunk yourself, get the fuck out of that relationship, and

start a better life for yourself.
It will be the best birthday present you ever got, dreamer...

Have a better year.

mark

[Withywindle]

30. Happy birthday and I wish you had a better present.

But getting your own life back could be the best possible present, although it'll hurt like hell.

THIRD DUI? That's serious. Next time it could be with your child in the car and he might not get lucky enough to get caught (because that IS good luck) before the worst imaginable happens.

It's just not safe. It's not OK. It can't be justified. All the denial mechanisms in the world didn't save all the people, including children and sober strangers in other cars, who have died because of drunk drivers. He is a danger to you and your child. He might not mean to be, but he is.

[lightningandsnow]

31. I'm so sorry, hun.

:hug:

I've been thinking about you lately.

[Forkboy]

32. I find for me that the more shit I choose to take the worse I feel about myself.

That's a high price to pay on top of whatever shit is causing it. Too high for me. My self respect in non-negotiable.

Hope you manage to have a happy day despite the nonsense going on. :hug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

33. take your son and Leave - now

in another year you will have a Happy Birthday...watch and see :hug:

[uncommon]

35. Seconded. And best of luck and happy birthday!

[Zorra]

34. I had to leave an alcoholic 2 years ago.

Didn't take long after that to become my sunny happy old self again.