Well, I Did It (Part 2)

[Nuclear Unicorn]

I went shooting for the first time with my BF, his dad, my dad, a coworker of my BFs dad and coworker's daughter. Those interested in that little story can see the link to Part 1 at the end of this post.

After we were done at the range we went to the BF's parent's house for some grillin' and chillin'. The rest of coworker's family was waiting for us there, so there were a lot more people than I expected (coworker is also a fundie and these people BREED! OMG!)Everyone was having a really good time. My dad, oddly, wasn't having any beers. I've seen him down a 12-pack like they were water but apparently he's decided he doesn't want to drink so much any more. No recent trips to the doctor or county lock-up so it's all him so good for him.

Anyway I kind of had my plans and I was really nervous. It must have shown because the BF kept asking me if everything was alright. Sometimes the best way to shut a guy up is just to smile and give him a kiss on the cheek.

When everyone is settled around the table I swallowed hard and spoke up:

", you know I love you."

Suddenly he looked horrified and worried.

"Um, yeah," he said...I think, I was so nervous. But I did notice his voice cracked.

You know, you practice these littel speeches in your head for a week and you still get dry-mouth and amnesiac-ish. That and holy crap there were a lot of strangers I never counted on being there. So I choked my way along.

"And I know you love me. I know you love me more than any man ever could. And I know you want us to have a life together so you want us to live together.

"I know that's what you want because I've made you feel that's the best you can ever hope for.

"But I want to say I don't want us to just live together.

"I've thought a lot about recently and I don't think that would be good for either if us."

I thought he was going to cry. I could see his eyes were so scared. So I had to hurry up.

"But I do love you and I can't imagine my life ever being complete with another man. But I know the only reason you won't ask me to marry you is because I've made you believe I have no room in my life for a marriage.

"I don't feel that way any more. I thought a lot about us and I want us to be together forever. I want to live with you but not as your girlfriend. I want to be your wife and I want you to be my husband."

He asked if I was asking him to marry me.

"Yeah, I guess I am."

He just threw his arms around me and held me for the longest time.

I think the people cheered for us but truth be told I was really paying a whole lot of attention. We just held each other and kissed. And then he did cry but I was kind puddled-up myself.

I figured his mom would be happy (she had blown her cool and smacked the crap out of him when he first said we were moving in together) and maybe say something extolling the virtues of marriage and condemning the sins of living together but it turns out the only thing she said was at the end of the night that shenever want any other woman for her little boy, and then she kissed my forehead. The BF--oops--excuse me--FIANCE's dad was just gushing the whole night. My dad went up to my fiance and said, "Good luck, you poor bastard."

Thanks dad.

We haven't really planned any details yet but we're getting there.

So, yeah...this unicorn is getting hitched.

PART 1, subtitled: "Hippy chick with a loaded gun" is here: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=118x329232

[ceile]

1. That's quite a turn-around for you.

Congrats!:toast:

[Nuclear Unicorn]

3. True. True

But I got lots of good advice from people here on DU.

Quite simply: they helped take a lot of the fear out of it and made good points about it being a good thing.

The BF/fiance too. He asked me one night if we would have broken up over fighting about silly stuff if we had been married. The answer was: of course not. We were both pretty miserable during the break-up and obviously we got back together so maybe a marriage would have saved us from doing something stupid.

[Recursion]

2. Best wishes!

[OneTenthofOnePercent]

4. LOL, YOU proposed to HIM and then he cried instead of you...

Total role reversal... awesome! *highfive*

Best part is now he has to get you nice ring you can show off...
and since you already proposed you can pick the ring out too. Double-win!

[Nuclear Unicorn]

5. I never expected him to cry but I figured if I proposed...

...I could keep my feminist credentials firmly intact.

And that's what *really* matters, right?

:P

[OneTenthofOnePercent]

9. All that really matters is that you keep the Betty avatar 4ever.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

13. She was a barrier smasher, so...yeah

[femmocrat]

6. How about that!

Some of us guessed "getting married" when you mentioned you were doing something new (earlier this week)!

Congratulations!

[Nuclear Unicorn]

8. Technically, I'm only engaged, not married.

:P

[proteus_lives]

7. Hooray and Mazel Tov for Nuclear Unicorn!!!

For two reasons:

1. Opening yourself up to new ideas and experiences: the shooting.

2. Opening yourself up to love!

:toast:

[seabeyond]

10. well, man, woman. you even managed to do the purposing. the cutest.....

start it out right. keep that role reversal going, and in upheavel, and all askew. lol

congrats

enjoy the engagement.

on edit... my boys and i laughed at "read with your eyes closed"

[Nuclear Unicorn]

18. He already does all the cooking.

We're both neat freaks so the house work will pretty much be 50-50.

I'm excited and nervous all at the same time.

I really do owe you a tremendous debt of gratitude. You were there during many dark times with level-headed advice even when I was in full emotional meltdown.

Tell those boys of yours I said they should always listen to their mama cuz she's a darn smart woman.

[seabeyond]

23. i think

you will be happy with your choice. it is so you. the way you walk this part of the journey. i love what bf said about if we had our tiff while married, would you..... that really brings it home.

and thank you.


for letting me and du, be participants. you sharing your story with us.

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. Woot! Congratulations on going out shooting and then gittin' hitched!!

That's the proper way to do it.

:applause:

:party:

May all your years be filled with love and new happiness discoveries every day!!

[Pavulon]

12. Congrats!

glad you have lots of positive things going on in your life!

[Glassunion]

14. Man, I must have something in my eyes. Sniff.

Look, sitting in an Applebee's is no place for a grown man to get teary eyed while reading something on his iPhone. I'm such a wuss.

Anyway... Double way to go and congrats!!!!

[Nuclear Unicorn]

15. heh...I knew I should have also adopted a kitten on the way home

I could have had you blubbering like an infant!

:evilgrin:

Thank-you.

[Glassunion]

17. Awww. My wife and I just picked up a kitten from the ASPCA a few weekends ago.

His name is Sammy. After Sammy Davis Jr.

Small world.

[cowman]

28. Congrats on the shooting

and double congrats on your engagement, instead of a kitten, we ended up with a desert coyote pup. Her and our himalayan cat love each other.
You are definitly a breathe of fresh air.
Hope you have many, many happy years together

[seabeyond]

24. that is too cute... lol, thanks for the giggle. nt

[Glassunion]

26. Thanks, I'm a bit of a softy.

[XemaSab]

16. Congratulations!

This is so sweet!

[TPaine7]

19. Self-delete

[TPaine7]

20. Congrats!

Enjoy your life together!

[kimi]

21. Awww!

Made me a little teary too. Congratulations!!

[Schema Thing]

22. Viva Castro!

[MicaelS]

25. I'm so very happy for both of you!

Congratulations, and a long, healthy, happy life together! :toast: :bounce:

[benEzra]

27. That is so awesome!!!

"Who wills, can. Who tries, does. Who loves, lives."

--Anne McCaffrey, Dragonquest

[Euromutt]

29. Oh damn, that's just beautiful

Much like Glassunion, I must have something in my eye. Uh, pollen, right; that would explain the sniffles too.

I thought my own proposal story was pretty neat (and I'm willing to share it, but not here, because this thread ain't about me), but I acknowledge awesome when I see it. And this is awesome.

I remarked over in Part 1 that I love your style of writing, particularly the irreverent humor (aka "snark"), but this is marve3llously written even with a minimum of snark.

Your dude may be a troglodyte politically, but evidently he's good to you, and good for you, and dammit, that's what matters. And I think he's one lucky guy (and I'm sure he knows it) to have the love of woman like you.

The day I got married, I was outside the back door of the building we'd rented at the county fairgrounds sneaking a cigarette, and a middle-aged, rural lady who was passing by spotted me, and my tux, and asked "You gettin' hitched?"
I replied "Yes, ma'am, I am," and she said "Always be her friend." And that's advice that has stood me in good stead in the almost eight years since. So if you'd like to pass that along to your guy on my behalf, I'd appreciate it:

Always be her friend.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

30. Please write about your story and send me a link

I'm a sucker for a tear-jerker.

:hi:

[seabeyond]

31. Always be her friend.... so simple, and so right. nt