I did my first delivery today - a 32-week old fetal demise. The baby was dead.

[Aristus]

Life sucks so hard sometimes.

Death sucks even harder...

What an awful day...

[SeattleGirl]

1. How sad.

And yeah, it sucks sometimes.

:hug:

[Kali]

2. oh god

excuse my bitching thread right above/below - I was trying to be funny and it doesn't mesh with real tragedy. sorry.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. I am so sorry, my dear Aristus...

How awful, for you, for the parents, for everyone.

Was it known ahead of time that the baby had died in utero?

:hug:

[Aristus]

4. Yes.

The mother had to go through that whole thing, inducement, parturition, the whole bit, knowing the baby was dead.

It was a little girl named Allison.

I was a wreck for an hour or so afterward. That was the first half hour of a twelve-hour shift...

I'm useless right now...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. I hope you'll have some time to recover from that...

Please take care of yourself, sweetie...

:hug:

[MrsBrady]

18. .

[MrsBrady]

19. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this...

and for the mom, baby, and family.


I didn't carry to term,
but I was 11 and half weeks along when it was determined that the fetus died.
The fetus was dead, but the placenta had kept working.

I decided to go with acupuncture and have my miscarriage at home than risk scarring with a DNC.
It took two acupuncture treatments...but it also took 7 days to work.

To say that that was the worst freaking week of my life would be an understatement.


Hugs to you. Bless you for helping that woman. :hug:



( it's been 10 years, I'm ok now. k? )

[sinkingfeeling]

38. So sorry your first delivery couldn't have been a joyful one.

[Haole Girl]

6. That is awful

A woman I worked with had a similar thing happen. She was depressed, too, for quite awhile. She was able to have another child about a year later....both mother & child doing great now.

:hug:

[Aristus]

7. I feel so rotten for feeling rotten. It was her baby. She was the one in pain.

Physically & emotionally. It was terrible to have to watch her face in between contractions. She just looked stone miserable. I couldn't think of anything to say to her. It didn't matter. An old experienced delivery nurse was with her the whole time, comforting her and encouraging her. What a great lady she was.

I had my own emotional collapse just after the placenta was delivered. The nurse helped me during that, too.

[Haole Girl]

9. It shows you are human

You will be more prepared, emotionally, should that situation happen again. :hug:

[Aristus]

11. The nurse and my supervising physician were very helpful and understanding.

This was the doctor's seventh or eighth fetal demise. He says they always knock you over, but after the first one, you're a little better prepared. He did say that it was really awful that my first delivery was also my first fetal demise. Bad luck.

That was the worst physical and emotional reaction I've ever had over a medical situation. I've been present at trauma deaths, and assisted in some really gnarly surgical procedures. Never batted an eye, or turned my stomach.

This one was much different...

[Contrary1]

14. It's OK to care...

The doctor on call acted annoyed when our daughter chose to wait, hoping that the meds would stop her labor. Sadly, it didn't. The babies were born too soon, and did not survive.

One of our little girls is named Allison too. The other's name is Meghan.

Never lose that empathy for those going through such a sad thing. It is much appreciated.

[MrsBrady]

21. you have a right to your feelings

No one wants to see the death of a child.

:hug:

[Lindsey]

8. I'm so sorry. n/t

[Swede]

10. That's sad.

My nephew's wife is 8 months pregnant. This last week her blood pressure shot through the roof,no one knows why. What a week.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

12. I hope she's being watched really closely.

High blood pressure in a pregnant woman bears close supervision.

:hug:

[Swede]

13. They gave her a blood pressue guage to monitor it full time.

This scares me,Peg.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

15. She should be OK, as long as attention is being paid.

It's when the symptoms are ignored that problems can get bad.

Try not to worry, sweetie...

I'm sure she has instructions as to when to call and so on...

I had elevated blood pressure with my first child too...they watched me closely, and I did fine...so did my daughter, who is now in her early 40's! :hug:

[EFerrari]

16. So sorry, Aristus.

That poor lady. I hope she has people around her. :grouphug:

[MiddleFingerMom]

17. Sorry that your introduction to deliveries was this particular case.

.
It sounds like you're learning from listening to and observing
the more experienced nurse and doctor -- GOOD!!!
.
.
I was a medic in the Army... and I can say with confidence, a
very good one. I dealt with a LOT of trauma and drug use and
handled it very well.
.
I considered becoming a paramedic when I got out, but realized
that all the terrible trauma I had seen was that experienced
by relatively healthy young men... and that the first time I
encountered and lost a horribly injured baby, I would almost
certainly fall into and never be able to climb out of a deep
emotional hole. I (wisely, I think) decided to take a different
path.
.
.
.
My cousin was an ER doctor. She said if you stop being affected
by what you see and deal with, you should probably not be doing
what you're doing -- but she did say it got EASIER as you gained
understanding and experience.
.
Strength and peace to you. Your compassion tells me that you have
the potential to be of great help to many people.
.

[tango-tee]

20. I have a young friend

who was forced to go through labor and delivery, knowing her little boy was dead. He already had a name. Leon.

There are no words... So much sadness at times.

[bluesbassman]

22. You have my utmost respect for what you do Aristus,

And my sympathy for having to go through an experience like that. Please don't let it weigh too heavy on you.

[kimi]

23. One of the most profound experiences I had as an L&D nurse

was helping deliver a fetal demise. Full-term, beautiful baby boy. Knot in the cord. No other nursery nurse wanted to deal with the aftermath, so I did. Bathed him, footprinted him, cut a lock of his hair, all for keepsakes for the parents, who were, of course, an emotional mess. The most difficult part of it, for me, at the time? Bathing him, in the utility room of the labor deck, and turning my back to grab a blanket, and realizing that I COULD do so, and he would not fall off the counter by the sink. I broke down when I turned back and then it hit me.

You don't ever get over it. You shouldn't. It makes you less of a person.

I'm sorry you experienced this, Aristus. And I'm sorry, but you will experience it again. Take your emotions with you for the next time, because that next family will need them.

Take care. :hug:

[zanana1]

24. It sounds like "baptism by fire".

I'm so sorry your first delivery was such a tragic one. May you have many joyful deliveries in the future.

[sarge43]

25. Oh Aristus.

So sorry, darlin' :hug:

Condolences to the mother and her family.

[jobycom]

26. Damn. Rough day. May you have many opportunities for better outcomes in the future.

[lightningandsnow]

27. So sad.

:hug:

[livetohike]

28. I'm sorry Aristus, for you and the family

:hug:

[crim son]

29. It would be unnatural

for you to feel nothing your first time dealing with something so very sad. ((((((((hugs))))))))

[Gormy Cuss]

30. What a terrible day for all involved.

Late term in utero death is a really sucky event.

[hippywife]

31. Wishing you some rest

and peace of mind after going through that. And the joys of many live births ahead. :hug:

[skygazer]

32. Wow, that's so rough

Your grief and empathy speak well of you though. Seems you've chosen the right vocation. :hug:

[GCP]

33. That happened to me with my second pregnancy

Full term, went into labor and they couldn't find a heartbeat. I had to labor that little boy out, it was the most miserable experience of my whole life. I was on my own as well, as my husband was home looking after our first (he didn't know about the baby being dead. The nurses wanted to bring him in, but I decided to tough it out on my own). That was in 1977, and it still hits me when I read a story like yours.
I went on to have another healthy boy, but it was rough for a couple of years.
You will do many more deliveries, and the great majority will have happy endings.
I'm sorry your first was so traumatic.

[kimi]

41. I'm so sorry.

My sympathies.

[Odin2005]

34. OMG, I'm so sorry!

:cry:

[denbot]

35. You have my respect for helping people in such difficult straights.

Has you worked your way through your P.A. program I inwardly cheered you on.. I don't have the guts to do what you do.

Peace.

[qanda]

36. I'm so sorry for all those who had to experience that

My heart goes out to you and those parents. I cannot even begin to imagine that kind of pain. :hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

37. ..

:hug: :cry:

[Fire Walk With Me]

39. You are such a positive and concerned individual...

...I hope that you stay in your positive space and know that despite the pain of the situation, that you are still helping those involved, and will be able to continue to help others (sometimes triumphantly, sometimes not).

You are needed. :hug:

[YankeyMCC]

40. Thank you for being there Aristus

I'm sure your strength and compassion were of comfort to the family even among what must seem like tremendous grief.