We got a cat last week from the CT Humane Society, but

[NewJeffCT]

it turns out my wife has a newly discovered fear of cats. Actually, not a fear, but terror, even though we have kept the cat in the basement at night. However, during the daytime, my wife is even afraid to be in the room with the cat around. She's never really had pets before, but was fine at my parent's house when my parent's cat was still alive.

Any ideas on overcoming this phobia?

[femmocrat]

1. Ailurophobia: Fear of cats

http://cats.suite101.com/article.cfm/fear_of_cats

Interesting article!

[NewJeffCT]

2. So, I can say my wife is like Hitler now!

with her fear of cats.:evilgrin:

[femmocrat]

3. Yes, she is in some strange company! LOL

And-- cats are attracted to those who fear them! Good luck with that. :hi:

[MilesColtrane]

4. We should all fear Basement Cat.

[NewJeffCT]

5. My D&D group games in the basement

and, we have a game coming up on Friday night.

[MilesColtrane]

6. Try to get the Vacuum Cleaner of Smiting.

Cats fear vacuum cleaners.

[Ikonoklast]

12. Ha! One of our little girls rides on top of it.

She'll climb on the canister as soon as someone starts it up, and goes for a ride.

Chloe also like lying on her side on the kitchen floor, and being swept around with the broom like a feline version of a Swifter.


Of course, her nick-name is Goober.

[nickinSTL]

30. not all cats fear vacuum cleaners

my cat did on occasion - maybe when we got a new one he wasn't familiar with, I don't recall.

But he loved being vacuumed. :shrug:

He was a weird animal :evilgrin:

[SoxFan]

7. Ditch your wife

[jp11]

8. Two methods, one is risky the other is slow and boring.

Risky, toss the cat in the bathroom with her when she is showering.

Slow and boring, put the cat in a cage and have her view it.

Risky, when she is sleeping put the cat at the foot of the bed with her.

Slow and boring, have her pet the cat when you are playing with it, holding it, or otherwise keeping it busy so it doesn't notice her.

I think you get the idea.










*disclaimer I take no responsibility for any injuries or harm that may come to cat, loved ones, personal property, nor am I licensed therapist or doctor in any wya etc etc*

[defendandprotect]

26. Thanks for the laughs . . .!!!

now if I had a drink, my day would be perfect --

ah, think there's a cold can of beer in frig --

hmmm....

[SunnySong]

9. Honestly get a new wife... We all make mistakes I once bought a Alfa Romeo

Beautiful lines, great to drive but it broke my heart.


There is a word for a woman that suddenly develops a cat phobia... High Maintenance.


It is her nature and it will only get worse. You can try drugging her with Xanax or paying attention with therapy but trust me she will never be able to go across country without something breaking at the worst possible time.


Consider the cat instance the first warning sign you noticed like an engine light of love and find some sucker to take her of your hands before she blows a gasket.

[NewJeffCT]

10. Too late for that

I knew my wife was high maintainence 9 years ago... and, she is far less maintainence than my ex-wife (who liked animals, just didn't like taking care of them...)

[flvegan]

13. An Alfa Romeo is a rite of passage.

One can't be a true petrol head until he's owned an Alfa. - Top Gear

[SunnySong]

33. So is a crazy woman...

:smoke:

[elehhhhna]

28. You are horrible and wonderful.

more more more

female married 25 yrs & lmao at the truth you write. Hit it straight on the noggin, good on ya!

[SunnySong]

32. Thank you very much your kind words made me smile...

:hi:

[MiddleFingerMom]

35. I had a GF with an Alfa Romeo once...

.
.
.
.
...and it was OK, but I didn't think it was anything special at ALL.
.
.
.
My GF absolutely LOVED that car... and said you HAD to love it to keep
one -- as it always worked, but SOMETHING on it didn't work all the time.
.
.
.
That "SOMETHING" was a long list of features that weren't truly critical
in getting from point A to point B.
.

[Arugula Latte]

11. Wow, I'm sorry I have no advice, I cannot relate to that at all.

Cats are my favorite things on this planet. My very favorite.

I can see being afraid of dogs. I've developed a little bit of that, just a tinge, as I've gotten older and read more stories about placid dogs turning on their owners or whatever. I will still pet a friend's dog, but I'm always aware that they can do some damage, and I don't take it for granted anymore that a dog won't snap. Yes, cat claws can do damage, but usually a cat won't take your face off it it decides to attack.

[GalleryGod]

14. I'm a Late Convert to Kitteh Love!

Happened this past Spring-Early Summer!
Sadly, can't cuddle with the object of my affection any more:cry:
Life goes on..and kittehs depart with their owners.

[Arugula Latte]

15. I'm sorry your kitteh love is gone.

I hope you can have another kitteh enter your life. Congratulations on your conversion!

[GalleryGod]

25. Thanks! She was such a cutey,too.

Used to crawl up on my chest,while I was watching TV...and just purrrr & purrrr.
So much love,unconditonal.
Very healing! Like she KNEW when I needed it!:loveya:

[Rosie1223]

16. Return the cat before your little girl gets too attached to it.

Try a dog.

:hi:

[NewJeffCT]

17. We can't have a dog at our house

we're not around enough to take care of it. Cats can be left at home with food, water & a litter box and they're okay.

[Rosie1223]

23. What does your wife want to do about it?

Get rid of her phobia or get rid of the cat?

I'm a cat lover, but I would advise you to make her happy first.

[NewJeffCT]

24. rigth now, it's get rid of the cat

but, it's possible it could change.

[lost-in-nj]

31. Jeff ya know I love ya

but why did you get a cat
when your wife had this fear???



I hope it works out for all of you!!!


lost

[NewJeffCT]

39. She didn't have a fear before

She was fine around cats when she visited my parent's house before (they had cats from when I was in elementary school until a few years ago) and in visiting other friends that had cats... she was fine at the Humane Society as well.

[Heidi]

18. That's an irrational fear, and from everything you've posted about your wife,

she strikes me as a very intelligent woman who would not want to be controlled or limited by irrational fear. I hope you can find a way to gently broach this topic with her, so that she does not have to miss out on the joy of feline companionship, the cat can have a "forever home" and can come to experience the cool woman that your wife is, and you and your daughter don't have to go through the heartbreak of returning an animal companion to the shelter. Sendin' ya'll good vibes. :hug:

[NewJeffCT]

19. she can't be too rational

she married me, after all...

[Heidi]

20. You can't wriggle out of this important discussion with that goofy excuse.

We've read your posts and seen your photo. Your wife is 99 percent rational. Help her get past this fear. That's what excellent partners do. :hug:

[Haole Girl]

34. +1

Irrational. Not a good thing for your little girl, either, if she has her fist kitten taken away for an irrational fear. Would your wife consider counseling?

:hug:

[moriah]

21. I've never heard of a fear of cats.

Interesting. I wonder what Freud would say....

[NewJeffCT]

22. see above - a lot of famous people were afraid of cats

Hitler, Genghis Khan, Alexander the Great, Napolean.

[Heidi]

36. Those aren't exactly great endorsements of irrational fear, are they?

I agree with the posters above, given the kind of woman your wife is, that everyone concerned would be a lot better off if you could find a way to help her walk past this fear. As someone who 12 years ago was extremely uncomfortable with cats (having been a dog person for most of my life), I promise you: it can be done and it's well worth the effort. :pals:

[Hell Hath No Fury]

27. Exposure therapy ---

same as for any other phobia. It really does work. She also needs to get really clear on what exactly about a cat she is afraid of -- the fear must be named, then it can be refuted. I would start with her being in the same room with it in a carrier on the other side of that room. She should articulate what it is she is feeling and thinking, really break it down, She should also note any physical symptoms she is having -- feeling fainy? rapid heartbeat? hyperventilating?. If she is anxious, the key to the treatment is for her to stay in the situation until the anxiety passes. Over time her exposure increases until she is actually touching the cat and feeling little to no fear.

I have personal experience with this -- I have panic disorder with agoraphobia -- which is a fear of having panic attacks. :D I spent several months in exposure classes actually triggering the thought and feelings I had during a panic attack so I could learn that they were not going to kill or I was not going to go insane. I learned what was happening to me physically when I had one, the thoughts that often preciptated or worsened an attack, and learned coping tools. I have had my disorder under control now for many years.

I have a great workbook I can tell you about if she is serious about overcoming her phobia.

It would be a shame for your daughter to not have the experience of having a pet.

[hippywife]

29. Please try to talk her into

trying to overcome her fear of the cat. It would be so traumatic for the cat and your daughter to have to take it back to the HS.

:hi:

[City of Mills]

37. I had a couple of Indian friends who were terrified of my cats

They wouldn't set foot in my house because of them.

[NewJeffCT]

38. My wife is Chinese

and, when she consulted her Chinese friends over the past few days, it seems like a fear of cats is pretty common among Chinese.

[jobycom]

40. Tequila.

Drink plenty of it, then just pretend things are alright.

Seriously, no idea. I've overcome dramatic phobias from time to time--spiders being the biggest--by forcing myself to observe them and find something apealling about them. With spiders, I watched one for a long time (weeks) spinning a web and crawling around. I focused on its eyes, which I thought were cute. Eventually I got to where I liked looking at its eyes, and that let me get used to watching it's mannerisms, and eventually I learned to see what was good about it, and then what was cute or fun in all spiders. I still get a little creeped by some spiders sometimes, but I can make myself like them. (I told my wife at the time about this, and she squashed the spider in front of me, thinking that was just really funny. One of the reasons she's an ex wife).

I did kind of the same thing with bridges. I used to be terrified of bridges, but I combined my love of the water and of heights to see what I liked about bridges, and worked on that.

I don't know if any of that makes sense, or if you can coach anyone into it. It's just what worked for me. And there are a couple of things it never worked on, for some reason. And with spiders, it's incomplete. You may want to consider whether you really like the idea that your wife may spend much of her time in her own house either terrified or trying hard not to be. I love cats almost irrationally, but that's a tough thing to expect of someone.

[WolverineDG]

41. "newly discovered fear" = taking attention that belongs to me

seriously, did she go to the humane society with you? Agree to get another cat? Then what's her *real* problem with the cat?

I'm saying this as someone who was on the receiving end of a "My wife says I get rid of my cat or we get a divorce" phone call from my brother. Needless to say, he did not take my advice & is still married. The cat is right now sleeping on my sofa. Wonderful cat, too.

dg