if there is one thing i hate about myself...

[keroro gunsou]

it's my complete inability to stand up to my mom....

long story, short: i want to go back to school for culinary management and baking, mom thinks it's a stupid idea. her reasoning is that i need to grow up and get a real job. she considers working with food to be on the bottom end of the food chain, no pun intended. given most of the places i have worked are fast food and not the finer dining places i'd want to work for, she does have a point. her other reason is that she thinks i'm just doing it as an excuse to sit around and eat. i'm not model thin, and i've struggled with my weight most of my life, so i can see her point, however incorrect her assumption is.

i'm technically a displaced worker, so i might qualify for additional financial aid for this which will hopefully help make my student loan debt less.

it's something i'm really interested in and want to do and can possibly make a good living doing. one of my friends from HS owns a nice place in town that might be willing to let me apprentice there (don't know he hasn't answered my call yet), plus the school i am going to has an awesome placement rate for it's graduates.

i've got a lot of good points to this on my side, but she won't listen and dismisses me out of hand. and i sit there and take it.... and rant about it to semi-strangers on the intertubes...

once i get my ducks in a row, hopefully this week, i'll take a run at my dad, he's a much easier sell. plus, he's got a hobbit's attitude towards good food: plenty and often... and i do need to practice when not in class....

vibes, support, or a spine requested...

[raccoon]

1. Investigate displaced worker assistance.

And read a book on assertiveness training. :hug:

[Lindsey]

2. I've been a career counselor before and there's almost nothing

more important than having a job that you truly enjoy. I work at a Career College so I know in many cases (based on one's age) that at least one parent has to be on board because of the financial loans. I really hope your dad is supportive. My best to you.

[applegrove]

3. I enjoyed baking so I took a cooking course once. There was so much multitasking

and having to be quick I quickly learned it wasn't for me. You have to think too that as a cook you'll be working while everyone else in the world is relaxing. You are on a different schedule.Even if you have your own successful restaurant (and I've worked at several as a waitress/busperson)it is still one of the hardest jobs you can do.

That being said I know what it is like to have a mother who always thinks the worst of you. Thankfully my mother has changed alot in the last decade.

Good luck.

[keroro gunsou]

4. she wasn't always like that

when i failed to make honor roll in high school, mostly due to the transition shock and bullying, that started the slide to where she is now.

part of my motivation to getting my degree in graphic arts was to prove to her i could do it. she did nothing but bitch and complain the whole time.

[applegrove]

6. I hope you are not living with your mother if it is so. Having what is essentially the same

argument over and over again stifles all your other relationships. You just keep getting forced into playing defence all the time rather than proactively learning about yourself and living life.

[keroro gunsou]

7. yeah.... about that....

after getting laid off last november it was either freeze and/or starve or move back home.

sometimes i think i made the wrong choice.

oh well, gonna hit up the financial aid office at school this week, and try can get something sorted out for fall...

[applegrove]

8. Good luck to you.

[applegrove]

5. duplicate post.

[SeattleGirl]

9. My husband got laid off in December of '08. He is a fabulous

cook, but what he really wants to do is be a baker, so I talked him into going to school in the Pastry Program at one of our community colleges. He absolutely loves it, as it's something he has always wanted to do. He's on unemployment, and does not have to look for a job while he's in school. They even paid for a couple of quarters of his schooling. He'll be done at the end of summer quarter. He's 53 years old, and was a bit skittish about going back to school at first, but as I am a vocational rehab counselor, and have written retraining plans for people of all ages, I encouraged him to go (age isn't a factor in doing something you really want to do).

I tell you this as a rather long-winded way of saying, if this is something you want to do, look into all the ways you can make that happen. I don't know details about the displaced worker program, but maybe there is something there that can help you. Also look into financial aide; you might be eligible for grants as well as loans. See what's out there that might work for you.

Regarding your mom being afraid that you'll just "sit around and eat," well, I can tell you from observing MrSG for over a year while he's been in school, that's the LAST thing you will be doing. Whether you enter a Pastry program, or a program geared toward preparing meals, believe me, you will NOT be sitting around. You'll be on your feet all day, either standing at a work station preparing something, or you'll be walking around the kitchen area to get things, put things away, etc. The students will taste-test things, but usually just a bite here and there, to see if the recipe tastes the way it should, not to "pig out."

MrSG sometimes brings things home that he's made at school, but they are usually single-serving sized things, not giant cakes and pies. Plus, he has to buy them (yep, even if he makes them at school), because the school prepares all the meals and desserts the school serves in the cafeterias and bakeries. My husband is not svelte by any means, but neither has he put on any weight.

Oh, and one last thing: Baking and food preparation ARE real jobs. Just ask anyone who has ever held one of those jobs.

I wish you luck in this.