Things you thought as a kid

[begin_within]

What did you misunderstand or mishear as a kid? My examples:

For a while I thought all dogs were boys and all cats were girls. If I saw a mother dog nursing its puppies I would say, "they look just like their father!"

When I heard the word "nostalgia" I though it was some kind of disease of the nose.

I thought the people on the local TV news shows had to have other jobs too, because they were only working for 30 minutes a day, and how could they live on that?

When my Dad in a drunken stupor took a swing at my Mom and she said, "That's a salt-and-battery!" I thought that salt-and-battery was a type of boxing move.

For some reason I was afraid of electric heaters, especially those in ceilings and walls. I was afraid to look at them when they were on. I was also afraid of sunlamps and those infrared heat lamps that they used to use in restaurants to keep the dishes warm, or in some bathrooms. I thought they might burn me or give me some weird kind of radiation. I had no problem with black lights, though, I even had one of my own. My friend was afraid of black lights.

When a teacher would excuse a student to go to the "lavatory" I thought she was saying "laboratory" and why would a student have to suddenly go to a laboratory during class?

I wouldn't touch rye bread because I thought the caraway seeds were little bugs.

"Guerilla warfare" was a phrase heard on the TV news during the Vietnam war. Of course I heard this as "gorilla warfare" and always expected them to show gorillas in the middle of the war.

There was a Japanese Village and Deer Park in Buena Park, California, when I was a kid, and they had a TV commercial that said, "Get in your car and drive to Japan!" So for a long time I thought you could actually drive from California to Japan.

There was a very short time when I thought priests could date nuns.

And you?

[SoxFan]

1. Viet Cong Gorillas

I remember those guys, too!

[Bucky]

3. !!

I remember getting thrown by that too!

I also looked at one of those "evolution: monkeys walk behind apes walking behind men" posters and asked my folks if that's what Adam looks like

[Auggie]

9. Me too!

[mitchum]

26. Same here. I thought they wore berets.

[one_voice]

2. Whenever my mom would say...

"I don't have money for that", I would tell her to just write a check. I didn't know that you had to have money in the bank to cover the check.

[begin_within]

4. well, technically you don't,

but the bank will charge you a $39 overdraft fee in addition to making you pay up.

[dawg]

5. Similar to yours.

I didn't think it was a boxing move, but I did think the term "assault and battery" was a "salt and battery".

[Nuclear Unicorn]

6. My grandparents in Florida always complaining about...

"Those damned tourists."

But in the news there were stories about terrorists.

When I asked why were the tourists trying to kill people in the subways my dad tried to correct me.

"No honey, those are TERR-or-ists."

But my grandfather said, "No-no, Frank, the girl has it right."

[elocs]

7. Time was slow, it dragged.

Back in the late 50s, early 60s we didn't all wear watches, especially kids, and there weren't clocks everywhere. I can remember listening to my first 45 rpm records and I thought they must each be 10 minutes long. I didn't know the time was on the label and in reality they were only about 2 or a little more minutes long.

Now, time seems to go by fast.

Also, I never liked hockey after I heard about some kids who skipped school and fell through the ice and died. I thought that's what might happen if you play hockey.

[bikebloke]

8. Wind

I thought the wind was caused by trees waving their leaves back and forth.

And the Washington Monument was a rocket.

[Pool Hall Ace]

10. Moustaches

I used to think that a man's moustache was just untrimmed nasal hair. If a man had a really thick moustache, I used to wonder how he breathed comfortably.

[Dr Morbius]

11. I thought babies came from a woman's belly button.

I had two sisters but they were both more than ten years older than me.

[meegbear]

12. The bathroom plumbing was all interconnected ...

when I would flush the toilet, I would wait for it to start refilling before washing my hands or getting a drink of water -- I thought the stuff in toilet would come out of the faucet.

[Iggo]

13. I'm with ya on the Gorillas and the Priests & Nuns thing.

And I'll go ya one further on the Japanese Village and Deer Park.

Now, I'm not proud of this, but I thought it was a half and half zoo, one side being Deer and the other side being Japanese people. (Yikes!)

[Sanity Claws]

14. I thought the Three Bears lived in the forest near me

My older brother told me The Three Bears lived in Forest Park, Queens, NY. I believed him.

Haha. I guess I was an idiot.

[Rob H.]

15. I grew up as a Navy brat

and I think I was about 10 years old before I realized that not everyone moves every year. :blush:


Edited to add that I'm right there with you on the "gorillas" instead of "guerillas" thing, too. I blame the "Planet of the Apes" movies. :P

[LeftinOH]

16. I thought all adults were intelligent & always made sound, well-reasoned judgments that kids

with their lack of experience and education couldn't comprehend. Now that I'm halfway through life (*if all goes well), its been painfully obvious that precious few grownups know what the hell is going on, or how to solve anything.. even though most of us pretend that we do. Scary.

[LeftishBrit]

17. I remember thinking that everyone, even adults, got taller as they grew older.

I couldn't understand why my parents stayed the same height even though they were getting older.

One thing that really puzzled me was the road signs, quite common at that time, which said 'NO WAITING'. I had been told that it was good to be patient and wait for things, so I thought that the signs were basically telling people to be naughty and NOT wait!

[Arugula Latte]

18. I thought the transbay BART (subway) tube between Oakland and San Francisco

would be made of glass so we could see fish swim by as we went under the water. Imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be a concrete tunnel.

[PassingFair]

19. For a while there, I thought that an old grandfather in the clouds documented my behavior.

Black mark after black mark....

Sorted it out by age 7.

[hippywife]

20. I thought

that all people, especially those who bore a title, were good, fair, and responsible. :eyes:

[nolabear]

21. I thought the words in Silent Night were "Round young version"

I had this painting in mind, the round, young version of the Mother and Child. What did I know from virgins?

[JohnnyLib2]

22. Brother, cousins and I tried to dig a hole to China--

those wimps quit on me.

[blockhead]

24. I tried that too!

I ended up falling into a Wal Mart.

[pokerfan]

23. I remember some story

my mom and sister would read to me when I was very young that talked about "man-eating tigers" which didn't make any sense to me. How could a man eat a tiger?

[mitchum]

25. Tennessee Williams and Tennessee Ernie Ford were the same person

[Iggo]

31. Oooooooh yeah.

*facepalm*

[NJCher]

27. TV

I thought TV was just for women and children and that fathers did not watch it except for the evening news.

I got a laugh out of your perception about dogs/male and cats/female, begin_within. I think I may have shared that one as I still find it difficult to understand "male cat."


Cher

[begin_within]

28. On another forum, someone posted that

they thought "grilled cheese sandwich" was actually "girl cheese sandwich" and only girls could eat them.

[murielm99]

29. I had the mistaken idea that elbow grease was a product

that came in a tin or jar that could be purchased at the hardware store.

My dad was always telling me to use a little elbow grease. I thought it was this all-purpose stuff, like duct tape.

[Duer 157099]

30. Along with the gorillas, there were the youth in Asia n/t

[sakabatou]

32. When TNG's Enterprise went to warp in the opening

I thought it'd make my eyes melt.

[Indi Guy]

33. When I was a kid I used to sing ...

"...sweet land of liverty..."

...made perfect sense at the time. It took a while for the "liberty" thing to kick in for me.

[rurallib]

37. why did the national anthem start out "Jose, can can you see?"

who was Jose?

[LeftishBrit]

46. That reminds me that my friend thought ...

that the line in 'God Save the Queen', 'Long to reign over us', meant that it would RAIN over us for a long time. I suppose that's quite appropriate for the British national anathem!

[BarbaRosa]

34. When ever I heard the term "Mind your p's and q's".

I thought of peas and carrots.

[Danmel]

35. I thought the Toronto Maple Leafs

Were the Toronto Make Beliefs.

I also thought if you opened
a car window in a tunnel, you would get sucked out.

[raccoon]

36. I thought all religious people were good. nt

[peekaloo]

38. Butter comes from butterflies.

My mom told me to stop listening to that stupid kid down the street after that one.

[TZ]

39. I thought the last line in "Row row row your boat"...

Was "life is down the drain"! Pessimist even at 5! :rofl:

[bigwillq]

40. That people operated traffic lights

they would sit in a booth and manually change the lights from green to yellow to red.
When the lights were flashing,that meant the people were on a break.

[begin_within]

41. ha ha

I can remember wondering how they knew when to change the light to red. I guess it didn't help that "Red Light! Green Light" was one of our favorite childhood games. But I didn't think it out as far as thinking someone was actually sitting in a booth.

"Speed Checked by Radar" did make me envision someone sitting looking at one of those circular radar screens.

[Brickbat]

42. I thought if you talked into the speaker on the TV loud enough and long enough, the guy at the other

end could hear you. I remember, when I was three, trying to do this to some boring PBS program, and at one point the person on the TV got fed up with whatever was going on in the show and snapped, "Whoever is doing that must stop!" and I thought he was talking about me. I was terrified.

[begin_within]

44. ha ha

There was a show called Dialing for Dollars, and I thought you could call it and win money, but they called you instead. I wanted to call it and win money, but I didn't know how to use a phone at that time (rotary-dial phones were pretty weird).

Also, I didn't think it, but a friend of mine thought that TV stations had to wait for the TV Guide to arrive in the mail so they would find out what shows to broadcast and when.

[Dr. Strange]

43. When they would advertise sports on tv by showing previous games...

I thought the game had already been played and they were showing scenes from it. Just like with regular shows. I was unaware of the concept of "live" tv at the time.

[begin_within]

45. I still don't get how they advertise upcoming awards shows,

and they show a series of clips, for example, "Lady Gaga! Paul McCartney! Taylor Swift! Coldplay! Aretha Franklin! Supertramp! Justin Bieber!" and so on, and for each name they say, there is a couple of seconds showing them... but the awards show hasn't happened yet, so where are they getting these clips from? It's false advertising.