WWYD if your ex told you he spent his honeymoon thinking about you?

[HipChick]

:puke:

[pitohui]

1. why would i have to do anything?

smile and say, "that's nice, honey?" I guess...???

[Iggo]

2. Barf.

[Richard Steele]

3. Send his new wife a copy of the coversation, change my name, MOVE, alert the authorities to....

...backtrack his recent domiciles and check the crawlspaces
for hastily-stashed corpses...

Not neccessarily in that order.

Seriously, that is some VERY HUGE RED FLAG SHIT right there.
Seriously.

I know I joke around alot and play the fool here on DU,
but I'm not kidding: If I were you, I'd be afraid.

[RandomThoughts]

4. Red Flags, Red Flags, Red Flags, here is a good red flags.

How about Wargames, you know I don't play games, but it seems people want to play games, so lets at least make it fun.

Im In, guess what, the song was never about what you thought it was about, it is not about that.
Doors Backdoor Man
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgzbiX46tl8

Shall We Play A Game.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLJ3zcdPtl8




I should note the while chatting I been doing something else also, so don't read to much into it, replying back in a way something would understand it, was not on home court so replied in that fashion, that is not a doctrine I believe in, for those that get the connection their, was just doing some work while chatting.

Although I still stand on both belief in dignity and justice for all people, including me.

[Richard Steele]

8. Their are some games in which the only winning move is not to play.

Back when I was in jail as a kid, in the 80's,
I roomed with a fellow who had committed a
nationally notorious rape/murder...pretty horrific stuff.

And more recently I became aquainted with a fellow
who I know for a fact was a textbook sociopath,
and I suspect was a serial killer.
He had 3 current 'Driver's Licenses', all in the same name,
but the photo in the oldest one was clearly not him.
Not even close.

And neither of those 2 people -EVER- said anything
as blatantly CREEPY as "I spent my honeymoon thinking about you".

[RandomThoughts]

10. Yea that is creepy, and not something I would do.

If I was thinking about someone else I would not get married to someone, that just does not make sense. So the fault was the person getting married to such a person. Should have played bad romance song in this thread, would have fit better.


As far as the other stuff, I have never known anyone that does bad stuff like that, that would be bad. And sociopaths are very sad. Sociopaths have no caring for anyone, I don't know how someone could live like that. I do know how people lose empathy, but the sociopath seems to be a unique case of no empathy.

Although I do understand how people can fantasize about other people, and that is something that is much more complicated then the topic of the thread.

[Richard Steele]

12. I have alot going on right now, but please ask me about all this sometime.

People who do bad stuff- I used to be one.
And I was locked up with thieves, robbers,
rapists, arsonists, car thieves, crack dealers,
you name it...

They were people. All of them were PEOPLE.
Not necessarily good people or smart people, but people.

The fellow I mentioned with the 3 ID's: he was not people.
He was something else. Something that nothing had prepared me to expect.


Ask me about it sometime, and I'll try to explain in detail.

[RandomThoughts]

13. Everyone has some good and some bad.

I do agree with dignity for people, and love.

I also have done bad stuff, but not the stuff you mentioned, but I understand the concept of all types of bad being bad.

[woo me with science]

5. Congratulate myself that he is an ex. nt

[Crystal Clarity]

19. My opinion too... Good riddance!

I don't know how long the two of you were together, or how serious it might have been, but Thank God he's not a part of your present life!

Can you imagine how the wife would feel if she knew? Emotional infidelity (if expressed) is IMO, as bad, if not worse then the physical. And if he could do that to her (on their honeymoon no less) he could've done that to you. The guy is clearly very immature and even if he is having doubts about such a huge life altering experience as marriage, that still does not excuse his actions.

Yuck! The only thing I would do is count my blessings and move on, but you seem to get that already. Another very smart DUer.... You go girl! :applause:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. I'd say his marriage is in BIG trouble.

I'd want to put some distance between him and me.

:scared:

[MilesColtrane]

7. i'd tell him to seek professional help, and to stay the fuck away from me.

[seabeyond]

9. confirmation that you made the good choice of being an X. nt

[quakerboy]

11. Make a point of making sure I had no further contact with this person

for a start. Depending on exactly how I interpreted the situation, perhaps share this info with their unfortunate honeymoon sharing partner.

[jobycom]

14. Nuthin.

Not if that's all. People say stupid stuff during emotional times, and a second marriage probably makes most people think about the first a little bit.

Now if there's more, like he called you at two in the morning and implied he wanted another shot, then I'd be making sure he understands the clear boundaries and the inappropriate nature of the comments, and I'd warn him that hearing from him again any time soon would result in more concern and perhaps professional consultation. And if there was a disturbing creep factor or if this particular ex is the frightening kind, then I'd escalate my actions in building whatever types of walls you could build.

You're the judge of that, none of us here know him, and we're all just reading our own experiences into it. Take it as seriously as past experiences with this person and your judgement of his present emotional and/or mental state suggests you should.

[Bucky]

15. Get him to repeat the revelation, but this time tape him & send the tape to the "new Christine"

HA! Just kidding. I suggest just let creepy dogs lie. Dude clearly has boundary issues.

[smalll]

16. Yeah, as a woman, you can take that in your stride, and favor us with the up-chuck smilie --

Walk a mile in the shoes of most of us men - un-handsome and/or un-rich -- and you'll learn to appreciate that kind of thing.

Honestly, What should you do? Count it as a feather in your cap, and be grateful that whatever youthful beauty you have still lasts to a certai extent.

Give it a decade or so, and you won't be responding with up-chuck smilies to unrequite love. :shrug: You'll actually appreciate it, even if it is unrequited.



Sayin'!

[HappyMe]

17. Not a damn thing.

As someone else said, be glad he's your ex. Seems he's already messing up new marriage, or just trying to play head games with you. Don't play. Silence on your part will tell him all he needs to know.

[dawg]

18. It doesn't seem all that creepy to me ... just a little.

To me, it all depends on the circumstances of your breakup. Maybe it's just his guilt talking. Or maybe you were one of those couples who loved each other but, for whatever reason, just couldn't make it work. It doesn't necessarily mean he still has designs on you or anything. Maybe he just regrets that it didn't work out with you and wanted to express that regret to you.

[unpossibles]

20. it would depend on the ex and the situation

I am good friends with most of my exes, and some of times we talk about stuff like that, although not usually to that level. It could be simply that something reminded him of you, or that he's not over you, or simply that he is over you in the sense of knowing it's over but is still in love with you on some level.

It's still a bit too much to say, imo, but mainly because it says to me that your ex should probably not have gotten married if he's hung up on you still.

And as others said, depending on how aware and respectful of he is of boundaries, then take it as a face value compliment and move along.