For anyone who has struggled with weight...

[rbnyc]

...I wanted to share recent update to blog at: http://rbouchard.viviti.com/

I was thinking of working on a group of essays where the title of each essay is my weight at the time. My hope would be that while exploring the issues around weight through my writing, my improved consciousness would help me do the things I need to do to lose weight, and the number for each essay would get smaller and smaller. I was thinking of starting by titling the little essay I wrote tonight with my current weight, but I was too ashamed.

I've thought I was fat my whole life, but I've really only been fat for a few years. Car accident, kid, moving to suburbs, desk job, age. It's so important to me to have all these reasons/excuses. There's really just so much shame, that's the hardest part.

Anyway, I would love to hear any feedback on the blog.

Thanks so much.

[Kali]

1. I really liked it.

I have no qualifications to comment but I relly liked your writing - I read everything you have put up. I personally don't care for much poetry but your other "pieces" were very good. I think you should continue. With the writing and whatever work you decide to do about the weight. That and the shame AND humor I very much relate to. :thumbsup:

[rbnyc]

2. Thanks so much.

I write a lot for my work, but I really want to do more creative writing and personal writing. It means so much to me that you like to read it. You made my night.

[UTUSN]

3. "each essay would get smaller and smaller". O.K., a "cute" idea.

But it doesn't convey seriousness about losing weight.

Like, 6 months ago I went on a regimen, STOPPED eating bread, starches (corn, potatoes), everything that TASTES GOOD!1

It wasn't hard. I'm OFF the diet, btw, but I lost 20 pounds. (I've gained it BACK, since I STOPPED the diet!1)

It can happen FAST!1 If you want it to. But cute ideas about FONT don't work.

(And I wonder why people don't like me!1)

[rbnyc]

5. Well, you know maybe it won't work.

I wasn't very clear by the way, it's not about font. The titles of the essays would be smaller and smaller numbers, IF I were to actually lose weight over the period of time that I'm writing, since I was thinking of titling each essay with my weight at the time of writing. That was the idea.

Might not work anyway. And your point may very well remain, even though it isn't about font. It's still essentially about a "cute" idea.

Maybe the sequence will be more like 181, 176, 175, 179, 185, 188, 184, 179, 173, 178 ...

Who knows. There are a couple things that attract me to this idea. One, it's a personal writing project, and I'm looking to do more of that. The other is that my weight is getting in the way of my life. I need to deal with it, and while it has to do ultimately with what I do, it's also so much a mental thing. I think I'm not alone and can probably connect with people no matter what the outcome is. My ultimate hope is that increased consciousness will help me to make better choices in a sustainable way...but that's just a theory.

Anyway, I couldn't find a compelling reason not to like you from your reply, so maybe you want to try again. ;)

Thanks for reading.

[UTUSN]

9. "my weight is getting in the way of my life" - O.K., NOW we've got a starting point... n/t

[some guy]

4. Hi

I had bookmarked your blog when you posted songs and offered it to us a while back.

I had just stopped by there again earlier this week and read the Imaginary Archaeologist, and about the box you had got.

So now I read bathtub crunches. ". . .fear of success. . ." was the phrase that caught my attention, because it's a phrase I have used pretty much all my life regarding myself. I don't know why we do that.

Strangely, you seem to be very "successful" professionally, and I think that I am as well. Most everything in my life is where I would like to be, and it has been that way for several years, so why do I still struggle with the me part of me.

Like you, I work at me for a period and lie the results, then one day realize I have stopped doing those things for <a week> or <two months> and am dumbstruck as to trying to explain why.

You ought to go ahead with your essays as planned. It's a wonderful idea. You don't *have* to publish them if you choose not to. Maybe you'd want to publish them as a collection once you achieve and maintain the weight level you desire.

Weight is just a number, don't get too hung up on it. But do get hung up on how you feel when you do the things that improve your health.

:hug:

[rbnyc]

7. Wow...

I totally connect to everything you're saying. Thanks so much for the encouragement. And thanks for reading my stuff. I feel like I should go for it, and just use the real numbers. I mean, how's that really going to hurt me, right.

Thanks so much.

[Biker13]

6. I Loved it!

You have nothing to feel ashamed about, you are so talented!

I've never had a weight problem, but I'm so sick and tired of people defining themselves by body image! A writer AND a gifted artist!? Good Lord, I'm jealous!!!

I've bookmarked your blog.

[rbnyc]

8. Thanks so much.

I'm so glad I dropped in to share with you all. I feel really encouraged in every way.

:loveya:

[MiddleFingerMom]

10. haven't been the LEAST bit embarrassed about proclaiming my weight...

.
... since I, um... ... you know... ... adopted the metric system.
.
But "too cute" to convey seriousness?
.
I think you (and I) aren't the only ones who need to, um... lighten up around here.
.
You go for precious and adorable if it helps YOU achieve your goals/dreams.
.
For as we all know, "cute" -- in conjunction with a healthy diet and exercise --
ALWAYS results in substantial weight loss.
.
But don't get cute, precious, AND adorable or you'll go all ectomorphomaniac on us.
.

.
MiddleFingerMom says, "Exercise, healthy diet... all that whale needs is s'more 'cute'."
.

[rbnyc]

11. I love your user name!

And your post made me laugh in a really good way. That whale is great. Thanks.

[grasswire]

12. I like the idea

I'm surprised someone hasn't already written a book like that. It wouldn't have to be all about weight.

I was thinking last week about writing a story about my older sister and separating the anecdotes according to the particular expensive perfume she favored at the time. Ha!

Chapter 4 Chanel 22.

Chapter 5 Diorissimo.

[rbnyc]

15. I like that idea too.

And you're totally right. Each essay doesn't have to be about weight. Thanks.

[KamaAina]

13. "Renee's Perfectly Good Weight"... "Renee's Perfectly Good Weight"

...and so on... and so on...

I do so hate to see my favorite ladies worrying about external things like weight. Why, just the other day, I learned that one of my other favorite females (who I also "know" only through DU) is full-figured. Result: I'm pining away for her taken self even more than before. :(

[tango-tee]

14. What a lovely thing to say.

And she is taken... aaaw.

From us full-figured ladies in DU-land :hug:

[rbnyc]

16. It's a hard balance.

On one hand, there's vanity, social pressure, self esteem, self image, etc. I remember when those were the exclusive issues, and I wish I'd handled them then. But now, on top of that, it's about sleep apnea, potential hip replacement, heart health, my little boy. I have to both learn to love and accept myself no matter what I look like, and learn to live in a way that's better for my body so that I can be here to enjoy and care for my guy.