I just got a very nice phone call from my dad

[Tobin S.]

Up until about 7 or 8 years ago I had a somewhat strained relationship with my dad. Just a lot of bad shit in the family history, not all of it his or my fault, but enough of it was.

Now days we both take psych meds (I guess it runs in the family) and we get along much better. :D

So he called me up today and told me he bought me a gift: A new amplified acoustic guitar with an amp and all of the extras for it. He remembered that I played the guitar a little although I haven't played in front of anyone for a long time- many years. The guitar comes with an instructional video. I've been plucking my old acoustic here and there for a while now, but I guess I'm going to have to get serious about it and learn some new songs. It would be very good to play for dad on my new guitar.

[av8rdave]

1. How cool is that???

What a nice gesture on his part. Truly a gift that will keep on giving.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. My dear Tobin!

Wow, what a generous gift! It's wonderful when our parents or other loved ones recognize our bonds.

I know you'll have fun with it!

Congrats, sweetie...


:hug:

[Zoigal]

3. Sounds like your dad might be trying to atone

for past problems. So glad you have a better relationship now. Great that
both of you are feeling much better about each other...Kudos to you both....z

[Heidi]

4. My dad has mellowed in his 60s and has become one of the coolest men I know.

I also know that I've become, in my 40s, less obstinate and Dad-opposed than I once was. When I was so entrenched in opposing him, I forgot that he was the one who bought me my first bike (a primo Schwinn in blue metal flake with a banana seat), my first records (yeah, I'm THAT old), my first stereo, introduced me to Bob Dylan, John Prine, Leonard Cohen, and many others, paid most of my college tuition (though the first year, he was basically subsidizing my beer-drinkin', cattin' around opposition to his Baptist ways). He was the one who sent me money to get out of a bad, bad, bad abusive marriage. He was the one, despite everyone else's panic when I said I wanted to travel around Europe, who said, "You've worked hard for 20-plus years. Go learn some stuff and have some fun."

I've learned in the past five years that all that time I spent opposing my dad was really opposition to the behaviors resulting from his PTSD from Vietnam. He got a diagnosis and help, I grew up and stopped most of my foolishness, and we learned to appreciate and love one another as human beings.

TMI, no doubt. But it felt good to put the feelings and evolution of this very important relationship into words.

[Tobin S.]

5. There is never too much information for the Tobster

I dig deatails, unless it involves the owner's manual for my latest electronics purchase. :)

It's hard to see the good side of people sometimes, especially when we don't understand them. There was a time when I hated my father, but I have since learned that he never stopped loving me, even when I did bad shit or when he screwed up.

[MiddleFingerMom]

6. My dad was an brilliant but extremely insecure jerk...

.
... who just became MORE of a jerk as he aged.
.
My mom and I didn't get along at all when I was in high school -- and I saw her
rarely for brief periods for the ten years after that.
.
Then, I moved back to my hometown and saw her often. Geez, had SHE grown up in
those intervening years!!! :rofl:
.
She actually did get cooler and cooler and more open and aware as SHE aged --
unlike so many of us.
.
Anyways, my lead guitarist and I used to write songs together -- he the music
and me the lyrics. When he moved away, I realized that I had to learn how to
play the guitar if I were going to continue to come up with songs... as opposed
to poems "not yet set to music".
.
I never played very well. MAYBE well enough to play for very kind friends around
a campfire or something. But I LOVED to play -- had a rhythmic Bo Diddley style
and, at one point, was playing 4-5 hours a day for myself just for the sheer
pleasure of it (no, "guitar-playing" is NOT being used as a euphemism here). Gave
myself a BAD case of bursitis in my shoulder -- steroids and abstinence for months.
.
First song I wrote all by myself, I was too shy to play for anyone else for many
MONTHS!! Finally, I played it for a singer-songwriter I liked and respected, and
while he liked the lyrics (song called "Ain't Your Bidness What I Do"), he laughed
and told me, "That's 'Knockin' on Heaven's Door'."
.
"No," I cried, "no -- that's MY song!!!"
.
I started playing again and got two lines into it and stopped... and in a VERY whiny,
sad, frustrated, disappointed and defeated voice said... "DAMMIT... ... it IS 'Knockin'
on Heaven's Door'."
.
He told me not to worry one bit. He said, "Because of the chord progression that almost
every beginning guitar student learns right away (G-D-C), EVERYBODY'S first song is
'Knockin' on Heaven's Door'."
.
Obviously, there were many reasons why I liked and respected him a lot.
.
"Please take this badge offa me.
Ain't your bidness where I pee.
Sure ain't no bidness, bidness of yours,
Feels like I'm knockin' on Heaven's door.
.
Wait. What?
.

[Tobin S.]

7. Hahaha

I was just sitting here playing a G-D-C progression. There are a few songs I can think of that feature that progression. "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" by Poison. It's in the acoustic part of "Stairway To Heaven." "Hold On" by Triumph has it in the acoustic intro I do believe. "Used To Love Her" by Guns-n-Roses has it.

So, you are in good company. Except for that asshole Axl Rose. :)