I think my dad is right:" Don't expect anything"

[Nikia]

When I talked to him a couple months ago, upset about some things in my life, he said that the key to being happy is to expect nothing at all, but if I must expect something, expect the worst. That way everything will be a happy suprise.
The people from my potential job, which I really want, didn't call me like they said that they'd call me today, either way. My friend, who works second shift, was suppose to come over after work but only called once while my husband and I were napping so I'd be able to visit with him and not be sleep deprived. It doesn't look like he'll be coming over.
If I didn't expect anything, there would be no reason to be disappointed.
When I think about it, the times that I have been most unhappy is when things didn't work out as I planned. I have been most happy when things turned out much better than I thought. With the exception of a few truly horrible things, my expectations were a major factor in my moods.
These disappointments aren't that bad. It just reminded me of that.

[Droopy]

1. Sounds like your dad tapped into the mysteries of zen.

What you describe is a very Buddhist-like philosophy.

[KissMyAsscroft]

2. My trick...

Make backup plans for EVERYTHING. Always have something to do to entertain yourself if something falls through. It's something I have definitely done throughout the years.

I'm the type of person who always shows up where they say they are going to, but other people are fucking jerkoffs. I'm not going to become a flake like that, I refuse...so I come up with a few alternate plans whenever I can.

It's always nice to know that if plans fall through that you are covered. It just makes you a more relaxed person overall.

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

3. Dad's right

I've been expecting some financial improvement for about a month but unforeseen problems have come to light, meaning a delay for another month. My dashed expectations combined with a miserable cold have made this a real shit week for me so far.

My mom always used to said something that I try to keep in mind: This Too Shall Pass. Doesn't promise that things'll get better, but they *will* change. Change is the only constant, after all.

[freeforall]

4. Your Dad has a good point

I aslo make it a point to live without expectations. That is just a setup for disappointment and frustration. When I focus on what I am doing "now" and give it my best attention, I admit that I am happier.

I've had to really work on all this over my life, as I used to get disappointed and therefore, discontent so easily. So, been there, done that. One thing that I found really helpful is studying the I Ching. There's a modern version by Brian Browne Walker that is excellent. Puts everything in perspective.

[Nikia]

5. If I can really believe this, it will change my life

I know that it is true. I am sort of suprised that you all have agreed so far. It is different from how I have been living my life so far and different from what I've heard from most other people in my life.

[Bossy Monkey]

7. Best is to hope for the best but prepare for the worst

Expecting the worst tends to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[Nikia]

8. I still think it is good for things you cannot control

Things that you have a part in are more complicated. As far as things that I cannot control like my mentioned circumstances, I have already determined that I cannot will things to happen one way or the other. Yes, I have seen miracles, but those are not up to me and happen more often when I am at rock bottom.

[Feanorcurufinwe]

6. What really sucks is when you expect the worst, and it keeps happening.

[skippysmom]

9. My dad always said the same thing

Expect nothing and you're never disappointed. I found it works best in my relationships with friends where I seem to do all the giving and they do all the taking.