A hostile rant about my three year old

[Orrex]

He demands attention even when he just wants to be annoying. Most of his bullshit isn't cute at all and it's barely even interesting enough to watch for more than fifteen seconds at a stretch. If we don't pay attention to him, he heaves himself on the floor and throws a tantrum guaranteed to make life so unpleasant that, in the end, it's better just to say "fuck it" and do whatever he wants, even if acquiescing to his demands means that somebody else is going to get the short end of the stick. In fact, to hell with that other person needs or wants.

In short, he's a selfish, annoying asshole who has to have everything his way regardless of the impact on anyone else.

Oh, wait--did I say my three-year-old? I meant Jay Leno.



In contrast, my three-year-old is adorable!

[MrCoffee]

1. Oh sure, kick a man in the huge, colossal, gargantuan chin while he's down

[TZ]

2. BWAHAHA!

Righteous rant dude...:thumbsup:...Though I do wonder how many are going to clique on this thread thinking "I'm gonna flame this asshole for being mean to his child...." :rofl:

[evlbstrd]

4. I was gonna flame him

for giving in to the kid!

[seabeyond]

11. i know three yr olds like this and drives me mad. i was gonna go after him too

was a good little twist and so happy for op not his three yr old

[Orrex]

5. Should I post it in GD?

I suspect that it'll just wind up back here...

[TZ]

6. You should

But make sure the Leno line is waaaay down on the page..I wuvs watching GD get fooled...:evilgrin:

[seabeyond]

12. but it was cute.... nt

[JTG of the PRB]

3. HA! Now THAT'S comedy!

:rofl:

:applause: Well played!

[Duer 157099]

7. Hah

Good one, although I really was expecting a rant about a child, because it reminded me of Wanda Sykes' recent HBO special where she went on a lenghtly rant about her baby daughter who cries and cries and cries, for any and no reason, and Wanda says: "Girl, it's just BABY! You can't do BABY??? Man, life is gonna KICK your ass!!"

:rofl:

[applegrove]

8. I fell for it. I was about to berate you for dis-sing your child.

[rbnyc]

9. That was seriously funny. (nt)

[UTUSN]

10. HaHAH, I *knew* you were going in a direction, but not to LENO, & I differ about 3yr olds

3 yr olds are the most SYCHOPHANTIC of all


I still remember KELLER, the Editor of the NYT in 2000, when he claimed that his 3 yr old saw GORE on t.v. and said, "GORE is a bore!1"

I *knew* that was a LIE on the NYT/KELLER's part. because a THREE yr old only mimics what the significant adults TELL that 3 yr old is important.

[Taitertots]

13. All this makes me think about is an America's funniest home video

It starts with a crying, tantrum throwing child around 3. He is just going off, laying on the ground kicking, screaming, everything. The parent walks back and turns the corner. The second they are out of sight the child stops crying, walks over to see the parent. As soon as the child sees the parent again he dives on the ground crying.