Am I the only one depressed this season?

[hyphenate]

And not about politics.

Several weeks ago, I had been checking out some of the celebrity deaths that happened this year, and ended up checking out an obituary for a friend that I hadn't talked with for some time. Turned out that she had passed away in February at the age of 47!

Every year, right around now, I think of death. It is, after all, the end of the year, and a sober time for some of us who have lost friends, family members or just don't have many people that are close to us. So I check out the obituaries.

My SIL, who has the tact of a stampeding herd of elephants, told me I need to stop looking at the obits, and cheer up. I'm "dwelling" on death, she said. She pissed me off--she does that quite a bit, and frankly, if it weren't for my brother, I would consider telling her to go to hell and stay there, because if she isn't being insensitive, she's being judgemental. NOT that she has a lot to be judgemental about--she grew up in the same neighborhood as my family did, and finds so much wrong with my family that I wonder what color glasses she's seeing her own family with.

As with most people, I really try hard to keep from saying something nasty, but sometimes the effort is too much for me. She was one day criticizing my "diet" and how I eat all this junk, and how many of my chronic conditions are caused by diet, including diabetes and heart disease. Well, the fact is, she has cancer, and I feel bad about that for her, but when you hear over and over and over again how she eats the right foods, exercises, etc., it becomes a little much.

So I finally said to her, "B, while I might have all these illnesses and a lousy diet, guess which one of us is likely to die first?" It didn't help. She just kept insulting my choices and raving about her own. She fails to understand that some things, including heart disease AND diabetes, is also inherited. And there is a very long list of family members with those conditions, and who died young as a result. And once she told me that my depression was just an attitude and that I needed to cheer up and get out of the rut I was in. Yeah, right. Bitch.

So yeah--I have no trouble staying away from family. She's in Vegas, I'm in Massachusetts. I know my bro's cell #, and both he and my nephew are on Facebook, so I can write to them directly until she decides to apologize. Enough of her shit!!

(PS: Yeah, I've bitched about her before, so some of this isn't new, but I hate the holidays, and now she's making me hate her as well.)

[Skip Intro]

1. No. You're not.

[AsahinaKimi]

2. You are not the only one..

I have been trying to find a new place to live on Craigslist now since Demember started. I have given myself a whole month to find something. Nothing in my price range or in my neighborhood is turning up. I want to go back to school in January and everything seems to be on whether or not I find a new place to move into by New Years.

meh.. this is a difficult time for me too.

however, I will still try my best..

Gambariyo! Aja Aja Fighting..

[Forkboy]

3. Been pretty depressed for the last 5 or 6 months, also not over politics, just life.

Some people may disagree with this, but I don't buy the notion that one must love family just because they're family. While I do love mine, there have been times where the relationships with my mother, father and sister were all very strained, and to be honest I felt no compulsion to do anything about it. And I didn't feel guilty about it either. If people make you unhappy they make you unhappy, family or not, and to me that kind of thing is toxic, so why subject myself to the stress? Maybe it was just stubborn pride, but I certainly didn't need the hassle with the things already going on in my life (which has been damned chaotic...talk about constant scrambling just to keep your head above water!)

Thankfully my family is pretty copacetic and none of us could give a damn about the Holidays so we don't have any pressure to get together or act happy just because society says we all have to be happy on a certain day. And as my brother in law is a graduate of Bob Jones University it's probably for the best we don't get together for any dinners. :)

I say do what you want and worry about spending your time with people who don't piss you off and don't judge you. If that happens to exclude your sister, so be it.

Good luck, and hope you feel better soon. Oh, and we also have a Mental Health Support forum here, so if you continue to feel down go and vent there. It's a slow forum, but there's some very cool and understanding people down there.

[Skittles]

4. your SIL needs her pompous ass royally kicked

that would help your depression immensely

[rebel with a cause]

5. Depression is my middle name..

It runs in the family and I have learned to deal with it and try to help my children do so also. My sister is also down due to depression, anxiety and her family dynamics. This time of the year is bad on everyone who is under stress.

In the last four years I have had congestive heart failure, formed diabetes and several other illnesses due to the heart failure, and have had a different kind of breast cancer in each of my breast. (only 1% of people do the different cancer in the breast thing Lucky me.) I am not depressed about the health problems as much as I am about now being under the care of four different doctors and being sick (emotionally and physically) by all the treatments and test I have to take. There are a lot of people with it worse than me and I know that and am grateful for it. But still I am tired of the fact that I am have no independence and am tied to where I am.

If I was able I would pack up and leave here but due to my health I am not able to. I have to live with my daughter who, although she loves me, does not like me. She blames me for everything that she believes went wrong in her life. Does not blame her abusive father for anything. I admit that I made a lot of mistakes in my/her life and made the wrong decisions about some things that concerned her. But I am tired of being blamed for what I had to do to survive and to protect her from her father. And I cannot even say much back to her/about her because I am dependent on her and she was good about taking care of me after my heart failure. The bigger problem in our situation is that she may be more dependent on me than I am on her. Go figure. Anyway, with what life I have left I am trying to have as much peace as I can.

You SIL sounds like a real sweetheart. When she talks about your diet, agree with her and suggest you move in with her and let her take care of you. I have a feeling the conversation will quickly change course. (lol) If this doesn't work then just use sarcasm (or any other tool you think would work) on her instead of letting her push your buttons. You could also tell her that since both of you are suffering from serious illnesses, it is important that you have peace in your lives. Otherwise, I would do what you are doing and just avoid contact with her.

:shrug: Depression is a tool in our coping process.

[lightningandsnow]

6. You're not alone.

:hug:

[RFKHumphreyObama]

7. Surprisingly I'm feeling more optimistic this year than I have in a long time

Perhaps because I can see new opportunities on the horizon next year that haven't been there in a long time. Perhaps because I'm now almost fully recovered from a really bad virus that has left me feeling very sick, depressed and frustrated over the past two weeks but for some reason I'm a lot more at peace with myself than I usually am at this time of year

But the circumstances of my life are still somewhat depressing. Not employed, no romance and living a lifestyle which has been depressing and challenging. And the past few Christmases have been somewhat depressing -especially the one two years ago where I had a bad stomach virus which kept me home alone on Christmas Day while everyone was out celebrating in the year which my mother (who loved Christmas and always made it such a big and special occasion) had passed away.

And I know how hard family can be:hug: Even if they sometimes have the best of intentions

Take care:hug: :hug:

[KG]

8. been unemp for over a year. it's starting to get annoying.