I really hate "natural" food

[Taverner]

By that I don't really mean natural food, but the food that is "naturally" made. Say, sandwich meat that hasn't been brined, or given any additives.

Yes, I know, processed food = bad, but meat tastes better when salty. And it tastes even better when there is a single, even consistency, rather than small bits of sinew and fat to get in the way.

Then take "natural" cookies. Carob? WTF is that??? And why do they taste more like carpet than cookie?

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Granted some "natural" food is good. I do love some brown rice sushi. But for me, a big part about food is the consistency. And if that consistency is like a gravel road in the mountains two weeks after first rainfall, then leave me out.

And then take the Tofu-ization of so much food. Don't get me wrong, I love tofu, when it is served as tofu. Like in indian food, or chinese food. But a "tofu burger" or "tofurkey" - mind if I have some ipecac with that?

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And lest we forget hamburgers that are made with ingredients other than salt, pepper and ground beef. Like the joker who puts chopped carrots, or eggs, or peas in their burger. Those folks should be banned from kitchens across the board. That is not a burger, its a meatloaf sandwich (and a bad one at that.)

OK, rant over

[HopeHoops]

1. One note on the hamburger part of the rant.

I've been vegetarian since '89, so I don't eat hamburger anymore, but back in the 70's we used to mix BBQ sauce in with the hamburger before making the patties for the grill. It not only sinks the flavor deep into the burger, but it keeps it moist and gives the outside a slight crispiness that is rather satisfying. I don't think we ever did it with pan fried burgers, just the grill. I can't remember. Some chopped onion (finely chopped) is also a good addition if you do this.

Just some "food for thought".

[Robb]

2. Excellent rant

I will qualify the burger issue with "salt, pepper or Lawry's" because, well, you need to add that. It's my secret weapon for burgers.