Puzzled by Food Network

[Deep13]

So last month Sweetie and I were driving through Coudersport, PA, a typical rural town when Sweetie pointed to an old-style diner. I couldn't see it since I was driving, but I asked, "Really? Do you see a pudgy, spikey-haired douchebag stuffing his face?" What is the deal with that Guy Fiero dude? His whole job is going into out-of-the-way local eateries, stuffing his gob with burgers or whatever and making mouth noises. "Mmmmm" Throw in a few douchebag expressions like, "That's money" or "off the hook" and that's his whole show. It's not really a cooking show since it's all short-order food. Hey, let's ask the customers what they think! They like it? Well no fucking shit. If they didn't like it they wouldn't be there eating.

And what about that Bobby Flay? Fisrt of all, "Bobby?" Really? Nothing says professionalism like a little boy's name. So he drives around to these local place places noone has ever heard of for a cooking "throw down." That means a competition. They can't just say "competion," because that would not be "off-dah-hook." So he shows up seemingly unannounced, though I have to think the locals are expecting him since they never say, "Who the fuck are you?" I'd like just once for the local eatery owner to look at Flay, open the register, pull out a wad of 20s and say "I win, go fuck yourself!" So invariably the person who has been making one thing for the locals for 30 years kicks Flay's ass in the minds of the locals who already know and like the local guy. Who woodah thought.

And speaking of cooking competition, when did cooking become a battle? Iron Chef: really? REALLY? Does EVERYTHING have to be a fight? Aren't we talking about a menial household chore that some people consider an artform? Does it really warrant the clocks and the judging and the frantic efforts? It's just cooking! Welcome to Laudramat Stadium for Ironing Lauderer America! Iron Launderer Bobby Flay is off to a slow start as he looks around for quarters. Meanwhile Lauderer Matimoto seems to have hit a speed bump. As a dry cleaner, he's a bit out of his element.

And someone tell Rachael Ray to stop scrubbing her throat with a wire brush. She sounds like she smokes more than Lilliam Hellman.

[tigereye]

1. but soon Ruth Reichl will have a show!

(former editor of Gourmet, and previous NYT restaurant critic.)


She's SO COOL! I can't wait to see that.

[grace0418]

70. Oh, now SHE'S amazing. I loved her book "Tender at the Bone"

Is she really going to be on the Food Network? That surprises me.

[TreasonousBastard]

71. PBS, Sunday afternoons in most places. I think yesterday...

was the first one around here, but I missed it.

[PeaceNikki]

2. Hmm... "a menial household chore that some people consider an artform"

Really?

That statement alone renders the rest of your "rant" meaningless.

[Deep13]

4. How so?

[PeaceNikki]

8. Because whatever your gripes are with Food Network, trained chefs take great pride in their work.

It's science as much as art. And, again, whatever your complaints are about how the Food Network represents them, it's a lot more than a "menial task".

Just because you don't understand something, just because it's seemingly frivolous; that doesn't mean it's unworthy. And if you think so, you clearly have no idea what you're talking about.

[datasuspect]

10. it does not change the fact that Guy Fiero is a douchenozzle

that is my only qualification to add in this.

"Kick Ass!"

[PeaceNikki]

12. No, it does not.

But his biography is really quite an interesting story.

I just get sick of elitist people on DU who marginalize the professions of others with limited or no understanding of the topic. DU considers itself tolerant of others and a supporter of "the arts"... so long as they fully understand and appreciate that art. Otherwise it's ok to trivialize and mock.

Whatever.

Also: :hi:

[datasuspect]

15. KICK ASS!!!!!

YEAH!

[Deep13]

39. I think the Lounge exists for that sort of thing.

Elitist? You've got to be kidding. Most of us will never be able to eat at Bobby Flay's restaurant. For most of us, short-order cooking is all we are going to get. I'm okay with that. I have a peasant's pallet and that's fine. My Sweetie makes me meatloaf, chicken soup and pate chinois. That last one is a casserole dish filled with a layer of hamburger, a layer of corn and a layer of mashed potatoes. Her recipe, however, is off-dah-hook in that it also has a layer of peas.

[PeaceNikki]

47. I get all of that.

But to refer to someone else's trained profession as a "menial task" is insulting. Lounge or not. And it really is an art to many, even if you don't get it. It's awesome that your sweetie's cooking is special to you. I am sure it's done with a great deal of love and also doesn't qualify as menial. :)

[Deep13]

53. I just meant that I'm not an elitist.

As for being insulting, I can live with that. To thine own self be true. We all have strong opinions and we don't have to agree with all of them.:7

[PeaceNikki]

56. And we all rush to defend things we hold dear.

The culinary arts is one of the very few that literally hits every sense: taste, smell, touch, sight, texture and even sound.

I can't fathom a lack of appreciation for those who are well-skilled in the craft and referring to it as "menial" literally made me gasp aloud.

That said, I agree with what you said about some of the personalities on The Food Network. I really do think some of the challenges like Iron Chef and Chopped are pretty awesome because it's cool to see the creativity of some great artists.

[Deep13]

58. I should have said "began as a menial household chore."

A lot of the "domestic arts" fall into that category. I post quickly to give my mind a rest from what I'm working on at the office. I didn't get out of there tonight until 9:15 p.m. (yes, it's a day job.) I don't always put as much circumspection into it as I ought to. Sorry for the choice of language.

[hibbing]

100. Guy

Hi,
I like Guy, and yes his professional background is interesting. I actually ate at one of his restaurants a couple weeks ago. Another thing I like about the Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives is that these are small places, that actually make food instead of some franchise place that serves glorified frozen dinners from a gigantic food service company. Places like that are getting harder and harder to find as every town becomes so homogeneous.

There are plenty of the other personalities and chefs on there that I am not a fan of though.

Peace

[Deep13]

36. As someone who eats every day, I don't think it unworthy.

I'm sure they are all very knowledgeable and skilled, but to me, it's just a necessary job to be done like laundery or lawn-mowing. Kind of like modern jazz. Those musicians are very skilled and are true artists. To me, however, it sounds like random noises.

[PeaceNikki]

48. Then maybe the Food Channel isn't your cup or tea.

:shrug:

Yeah, I got "serious" in a Lounge thread and my friend datasuspect lightened me up. It's just that I, and many I know, are "foodies" and truly appreciate the skill and talent of chefs. It's perhaps the only art with which I can relate and really connect (though I can appreciate them all).

[Deep13]

54. Yeah, it's never my first choice.

But then again, it wasn't my idea to get satellite TV. It was for the person who occupies the other matching recliner in our house.

[Ilsa]

61. I have a different problem with "a menial household chore that some people consider an artform".

When you are cooking for a family, there is so much more to consider, like the different appetites, trying to get a nutritious meal for kids, etc. It can be a tiresome chore, but not necessarily menial if you are trying to encourage a good appetite and cook in a healthy way. Any slug can boil the vitamins out of smething, but cooking it right can be a challenge.

[madeline_con]

64. It also speaks volumes about the poster's skill level when performing said "chore"

[CBGLuthier]

78. I smile at children when they say stupid things like that

give them a pat on the head and wonder about their parents.

[madinmaryland]

3. Do they even have any real cooking shows on the food channel?

I can't watch any of that competition crap.

Don't forget "Unwrapped" which is just a big advertisement for the junk food industry.

[Arugula Latte]

7. There are a few ...

Giada's "Everyday Italian" -- Her food usually looks great.

Paula Deen and Ina Garten have shows if you like your cooking with tons of butter, cream, cream cheese, sugar, and the like. I'm sure it TASTES great, but your body won't be thanking you afterwards.

I think Emeril still has at least one cooking show but for some reason I've never gotten into his shows.

[dugaresa]

22. i can't stand Giada, she smiles too much

as for Paula Deen, the only person I know who adds butter to ground meat to make hamburgers, i had a heart attack watching that.

[datasuspect]

24. i like looking at her tits

[dugaresa]

30. that is probably the main reason she has viewers she has low cut tops on most of the time

and she seems way too skinny to be a cook.

most people I know who make their living via cooking are not so skinny, perhaps they are odd or she is some extreme outlier.

[GoCubsGo]

85. I call her "The Big, Giant Head"

Her head seems too big for her body.

[ceile]

93. I can't watch her for that very reason.

I get dizzy as my brain tries to reconcile the size of her head with rest of her body.

[Dr Fate]

46. +100 n/t

n/t

[MajorChode]

51. Paula Deen, now there's a babe

If you don't agree you'll make me post the video of her mooning her audience.

[PeaceNikki]

25. You obviously haven't had a Wisconsin "butter burger"

[dugaresa]

28. i am actually going on a trip to Wisconsin tomorrow

someone told me I had to try "squeaky cheese"

[PeaceNikki]

29. Ah yes, cheese curds.

Get them fresh from a local grocer. Where in WI will you be?

[dugaresa]

31. outside eau claire

[PeaceNikki]

34. Beautiful area.

Especially this time of year.

Enjoy your stay here! :)

[dugaresa]

38. it is for business mostly but I do plan to take in the area as my

father in law said it was a very nice place.

[PeaceNikki]

35. hic

uup

[ipfilter]

26. self delete

[PVnRT]

75. Adding fat to lean ground beef is pretty common

Some people use sour cream, others butter or egg yolks. If you go to a non-chain place, that's probably how they're making it.

[LibertyLover]

95. I add a little olive oil to really lean ground beef

if I'm going to grill it. Really makes the meat taste good.

[PVnRT]

97. I add it to ground bison as well

Bison is so naturally lean, if you don't, it will fall apart on you if you try to make it into a burger patty.

[LibertyLover]

101. You are so right - the next time I do buffalo burgers

I'm going to do that as well. I know that buffalo is low in fat and has to be watched carefully or it will burn. I can't understand why I never thought to put some olive oil in? Thank you for the reminder!

[haele]

99. Anne Burrell - "Secrets of a Restaurant Chef" - and they used to have Jamie Oliver

"Jamie at Home" - which was a beautiful BBC show where he cooks out of an old Queen-Anne era manor house (apparently his) that also apparently still has the old gardens, and the stillery and kitchen separate from the main house.
Anne can be a bit overpoweringly enthusiastic, but she's going for the "best friend showing you how to cook" shtick, that can be very, umm, regional in cultural attitudes. She's apparently from a working class New York family, and plays the part well. But dang, she's a good cook, and she gives out a lot of good tips.

I wish our kitchen was bigger, had a pantry, something. We've got one of those cramped little galley kitchens with only about 7 cabinets and two counter surfaces. You really need to keep the dishes washed and off the counters to get anything done.

Haele

[ceile]

94. Lots actually.

The usual Emeril and Paula Dean and Bobby Flay. But I like Down Home with the Neely's, Tyler Florence, Aida, Ingrid Hoffman....

[Richardo]

5. Righteous rant

:applause:

:rofl:

[Swede]

6. Puzzled by you not changing the channel.

:shrug:

[Deep13]

41. *grumble**grumble**grumble*

I'm not the only one in the house who watches TV.

[Bertha Venation]

9. I enjoy Iron Chef and Dinner Impossible.

LOL at "Iron Launderer." I certainly agree with you about Fieri and Ray and Flay.

There's one show on Food Network that I find very interesting, and that is "Good Eats." Alton Brown cooked it up (no pun intended) by deciding there should be a show that included Julia Child, Mr. Wizard, and Monty Python. It's educational and goofy and entertaining.

[GoCubsGo]

84. Me, too. And,...

"Food Detectives." It's little hokey, but it's in the same spirit as "Good Eats." I love the scientific aspect of it--or, the attempts at being scientific. I appreciate that they're at least trying. Not to mention that I love Ted Allen, who I, being a straight female, consider "crying shame". :-) The 10th anniversary show for "Good Eats" that he did with Alton Brown was a hoot! It was one of the best shows they have had on that network since the "Two Fat Ladies", who I really miss.

I also like "Chopped." It's fun seeing what kinds of dishes the different chef concoct from the odd assortment of ingredients they're handed. It's why I like "Iron Chef" and "D.I.", too. (I wish they'd bring back the original Japanese series.) The only think that annoys me is the judges, who can be so nitpicky--especially Alex Guarnaschelli and her evil eye. I'm sure that glare of hers is just her schtick, and I'm starting to view it as comedic relief.

[Bertha Venation]

91. Jeffery Steingarten is the worst. He is a snarky, uptight asshole.

The original Iron Chef can be found on Bravo, IINM. :)

I miss Two Fat Ladies, too. I also miss Too Hot Tamales. I think those two are a couple, too. Maybe. I dunno. I'm certain that at least Susan Feniger is Family.

The live "Good Eats" show was fun. Hokey, but fun. I loved it when Alton Brown walked out onto the stage carrying his chicken.

[PVnRT]

98. Her and Scott Conant

I swear, that man has nothing nice to say about anything. Pure asshole; he was a jerk when he was a guest judge on Top Chef, too.

[MajorChode]

11. You just have to take the good with the bad

The reason the food network exists is because they have something for everyone. It took me about 20 seconds to realize Fiero was a douchebag and about the same amount of time to realize Flay was a schmuck. When they are on, I simply change the channel, but they do have a few other shows I find entertaining. I suppose someone must be watching the two because they seem to persist on the network.

Flay's "throw down" nonsense is the epitome of prickishness. It's not too hard to figure out how to make something marginally better using ingredients that cost 3 times more and using 3 times more labor, but then you'd have to charge 3 times more for it and then it doesn't fit the business model.

My favorite show is Alton Brown's although I don't generally make very many of his recipes. He does demonstrate the principles behind cooking which is more important, IMO. A cook knows how, but a chef knows why. He is a bit cheesy with his presentations sometimes.

[hippywife]

13. I don't have cable and I'm not into the celebrity chef thing but

it seems like that channel has gone the way of MTV and veered from it's original idea. I liked Julia and still watch her on PBS once in a while when I have a chance but not too impressed with anyone else.

If you want the real food channel, you need to check into the Cooking and Baking Group here on DU. :hi:

[datasuspect]

14. and i really think that Paula Deen hams up the whole southern dialect thing

every other word out of her foodhole is "Y'all" said in the most sickeningly sweet/cloying, almost fake southern accent.

look, i've lived in and out of the american south for more than 20 years, and no, people don't talk like that. especially people with enough savvy and wherewithal to obtain an agent and a teevee show.

[Deep13]

42. Let's watch her deep fry a pound of butter!

Bleck!

[madeline_con]

65. I've lived in south for 50 years, and some DO talk that way.

Some of them are relatives. Paula's in Savannah. She has a typical Georgian accent.

[bbernardini]

16. To be fair, Flay went to one of the top culinary schools in the country...

...so I think he knows what he's doing, despite all that Food Network nonsense. Besides, Anthony Bourdain seems to like him, and that's good enough for me. :)

[PeaceNikki]

17. And even Guy Fieri studied in France.

Even as annoying as he is, he's rather good at what he does.

[datasuspect]

18. good at being a fucknozzle

sorry.

i know what you mean though.

it's all for entertainment and lifestyle addiction.

[PeaceNikki]

19. Dork.

[datasuspect]

20. dingus

[PeaceNikki]

21. hooooooooooooor

[datasuspect]

23. i'm gonna tell my mommy you're being mean

[Deep13]

44. Sure, I'm not saying he's an amatuer or anything.

I just don't get him. I heard somewhere that he has a shitload of alimony to pay. Maybe that's why he's on every other show.

[MajorChode]

49. I just don't get his style of cuisine

But then I don't care much for California cuisine in general, if you can call it that. Much of it is simply a bastardization of other cuisines. I'd rather see Paula Deen. Her dishes might be nutritionally crap, but at least I can understand the cuisine.

[Throd]

57. Just put chipotles in everything

[MajorChode]

59. At least it's simple

[KamaAina]

27. Why not start your own cable network?

You could rip on the other channels 24/7. Call it "The Snark Channel". Hell, Faux alone could fill up half your airtime.

[Deep13]

45. They already have that. It's called The Soup. nt

[Dr Fate]

32. Food related shows were much more popular when they were done PBS style.

Remember all those famous PBS cooking shows? let's see, there was Julia Childs, and then that other one. Then there was- no, that guy repaired houses...even still.

Now THAT was good TV.

How about those cake decorating hipsters/stoners? Is this a cooking show or an indy rock film? Since when do ART students get to have a cooking show? And what's up with Paula Dean- with her "recipes", old lady hair- do and Southern accent? I'll have some clever things to say about that, thank you very much.

[dugaresa]

37. i liked the "reality" shows PBS did too

especially the Old West one where at the end they judged people's survival on how much firewood they chopped. The one thing the guy who trained them kept saying, "keep cutting more firewood" and the one thing they didn't listen too.

and the fact that it wasn't really a competition but that one woman couldn't help herself. people survived to a great deal in the past due to the kindness of neighbors and getting along something that is lost today.

[Dr Fate]

40. Chopping wood? ZZZZZZZzzz. I liked the one where they watched paint dry. n/t

n/t

[dugaresa]

43. that was a good episode

not as good as the toenail maintenance episode but definitely memorable

[kentauros]

66. Jeff Smith - The Frugal Gourmet

There was also the Galloping Gourmet, back in the 70s. Julia had some newer shows where she had guest chefs. I always watched the baking episodes :7

Didn't PBS also do the "Great Chefs of the West" series? Another great show because it was the chefs in their kitchens, doing what they knew and loved. I remember one chef featured was on a train. Talk about a tiny and tight working space! All of the chefs were good at demonstrating without being asses about it, too.

It seems like the most popular shows these days are akin to S&M treatment, like Ramsey.

[seemunkee]

79. Loved the Great Chefs series

I have the Great Chefs of the West and of San Francisco books. Both got a lot of use.

[GoCubsGo]

87. Some PBS networks still have that...

Since they went digital and have more than one channel, in some places, they show the "Create" network (http://www.createtv.com/). It carries old Julia Childs and Paul Prudhomme shows, as well as new ones by Ming Tsai, Rick Bayless, and lots of others.

They also have "This Old House", and lots and lots of crafts and travel shows...

[XemaSab]

33. There was an article a few weeks ago in the NYTimes magazine discussing this

Basically, the Food Network has gone away from being a channel for people who like to cook to being a channel for people who like to eat.

[Gormy Cuss]

52. That's a great summation. n/t

eta: great rant, Deep13!

[TreasonousBastard]

73. Admit it-- that's a far bigger audience.

[XemaSab]

74. It's totally true

I read a poll the other day that said up to 80% of Americans admit to having eaten in the last month. :P

[Rabrrrrrr]

50. Menial household chore? That says everything I need to know about your rant.

Though are correct that Guy is a total douchebag and uses total douchebag phrases like "off the hook".

What a fuckbag.

[Deep13]

55. Someone already chewed me out over that.

Some people consider it an art form. Some people consider sewing an art form. Hell, I've even seen a TV show where house cleaning became an art form. Nevertheless, many of the art forms of today grew out of menial household tasks of previous centuries.

[flvegan]

60. I see this Food Network thread has been cooked over open flames.

[kentauros]

67. Would you rather it be on a hot rock

or a convection oven? :P

[madeline_con]

68. Flay got hold of it. It's BBR.

:D

[TZ]

90. Its never "officially" a flamewar...

until flvegan shows up..:patriot:

[madeline_con]

62. Allow me to retort.

Guy Fieri goes to places locals have suggested because the food isn't just good, it's excellent. If you watch the show, you'll realize it's not "short-order food". Some of the stuff takes literally days to prepare.

As for Flay, he couldn't cook his way out of a paper bag. Someone lied to him and said he knew how to barbeque. PUHleeese! He chars the shit out of every piece of meat he gets his mitts on. It's no wonder he always gets his butt kicked at "throw downs". :puke:

[KurtNYC]

63. The Food Network develops celebrity chefs like Flay

then they found out that Flay had high negatives so they came up with the throw down thing.

It is genius in a way -- their audience doesn't really like Flay so rather than move on to new talent, they develop a show where Flay loses to locals (eg. people like the FCN audience).

[grace0418]

69. While I agree that the food network "stars" for the most part are not worth mentioning, I completely

disagree that cooking is just a menial household chore. Painting your dining room wall is a menial chore, but painting the Sistine Chapel is art. Same goes for food. Throwing some Hamburger Helper on the table is a menial chore, but experiencing the culinary delight of a meal at Charlie Trotters, or El Bulli, or just about any bistro in Paris or ristorante in Florence is a completely different thing. I can't imagine ANYONE tasting something like that and declaring it the end result of a menial household chore. It is art in my book. I am a visual artist and I know a few chefs. Believe me, we speak the same artistic language, just using a different medium.

[Deep13]

82. Yeah, I should have phrased that differently. nt

[Duer 157099]

72. I'll agree about Flay, but I do like the Diners show

Guy did a recent show about his favorite Mexican food place in his home town, and after I watched it, I looked it up and found out that it is only a couple of blocks down the street from MY favorite Mexican joint, and I had no clue whatsoever about it. I still haven't gone there yet though. But it's on my list now.

I like watching that show and really wish I could go with him when he does those. Of course, I agree about how stupid it is to ask the people eating at them what they think of the food. I mean, c'mon.

[RebelOne]

76. Tell Rachael Ray to stop scrubbing her throat with a wire brush.

That is a very mean and ignorant comment. Rachel Ray has some kind of a throat problem. I heard she recently had an operation on her throat.

[Deep13]

80. Really? Sorry, didn't know that.

I don't follow that sort of thing. I just figured she was a heavy smoker like everyone I know who sounds like that.

[SoCalDem]

77. Rachel Ray had a tumor on her vocal cords & surgery recently

I don;t think she's a smoker

I don;t watch any of the cooking shows, but I saw her on Late Night.

[Deep13]

81. Didn't know that. nt

[Ineeda]

83. Not on the Food Network but the food-related show I really don't get is

Man v Food. The host goes around the country to eat at mom and pop restaurants that have some sort of challenge menu item. Massive hamburgers, omelets, ice cream sundaes, etc. I'm talking portions that would feed a family of six. Frankly, it's gross.

[rvablue]

86. I've got a must read for you as your OP is a summary of something more in depth I read

not too long ago.

It was a cover piece in the NYT Magazine called "Out of the Kitchen and Onto the Couch" about how cooking shows have changed over the years from how-to and instructional (Julia Child) to treating them as competitions and races and screamfests (all the shows that you named) that have nothing to do with viewers learning a new recipe or cooking technique.

It was quite fascinating and while I had been a fan of Top Chef for a few seasons, after reading this, I can't bear to watch it anymore.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/magazine/02cooking-t.html

[datasuspect]

92. "What can possibly be the appeal of watching Guy Fieri bite, masticate and swallow all this chow?"

best line from that article. and yes, people are just that fucking STUPID.

[ipfilter]

96. Thanks for the link.

I just finished reading this and it was both entertaining and enlightening.

[Blue State Blues]

102. I was thinking of the same article.

I like some Food Network shows, but I don't like the "cooking as spectator sport" shows.

[1gobluedem]

88. Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives promote locally-owned restaurants

That alone would be enough for me to love it but I like it all. I have a list of places to visit when I travel, I have watched how certain things were prepared -- like a dry rub on ribs -- and made my own, and I like how none of these places are chains. I think the show promotes US travel and stimulates local economies because of it. I love it and can't wait to try some of these places.

It's the Food Network, not the Cook Network. Not every host has to be a chef.

[busybl]

103. I love the show, not because of Guy,

but finding little neighborhood places. Wish he's come to IOwa.

[BuddhaGirl]

89. I'm no Rachel Ray fan

but FYI she has had a benign tumor removed from her vocal chord. That was a reason for the raspiness.