Convince me why I should vote for you for Mayor of the Lounge.

[Bucky]

My issues are law & order, reforming schools, water fluoridation, and ending the kudzu menace. I want to know what are you gonna do for me!

[LeftyMom]

1. I present to you my platform

Law and Order:

I'm against it, myself. But if anybody gives me shit I'll have flvegan break their legs at the knee. Problem solved.

Reforming schools:

I have done my part to improve order in our schools by keeping my kid out of them. You're welcome.

Water flouridation:

The United States Congress awarded the excess money to the American Citizens for income of $350,000.00 a year to each citizen for almost 100 years through EyeSpy Community-Military Intelligence (All Three) Business and Commerce Intelligence.

The kudzu menace:

I think I saw them at the Blue Lamp once. I was kinda drunk so I don't really remember their set.

[crim son]

2. My issues are your issues. Also,

I will turn a blind eye to sex and bodily function threads. :bounce:

[Bucky]

17. Trust me

... you don't want to know about my issues.

[LostInAnomie]

3. My platform addresses none of those problems.

What it does address though is almost every trivial zombie question or concern, and the expansion of the right to post bodily function threads.

Plus, the fact that all the other candidates are pedophiles. If they deny it, it only makes them lying pedophiles. You can't trust a lying pedophile.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

4. Fluoride will sap and impurify your precious bodily fluids.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

5. I shall not seek, and I will not accept, the nomination as your Mayor

thank you.

[NJmaverick]

22. but what about the write ins?

[valerief]

6. I promise not to have sex with any employees

during office hours.

[rug]

8. You're clearly unqualified to be Mayor of the Lounge.

[valerief]

10. Damn, I thought hiring gigolos would be enough. nt

[valerief]

11. Damn, I thought hiring gigolos would be enough. nt

[NNadir]

7. I promise to never again posting a copy of...

...Van Gogh's 1888 painting "Memory of the Garden At Etten" now being held hostage by the Hermitage in Saint Petersburg.

[armyowalgreens]

9. I'm young and energetic. I will also provide for free keggers every Friday night.

[baldguy]

12. I promise free beer.

[armyowalgreens]

13. Too late.

[Bucky]

16. it's never too late

It's just sticky, stinky, stale, and room temperature. But I'm not a proud man.

[datasuspect]

14. my platform

1. compulsory arming of the homeless and drug addicts

2. compulsory spanish classes

3. business men must wear clown suits during business hours (thanks Jello!)

4. you must pay a penalty tax for not smoking pot

5. 3 day work weeks

6. every thursday is SEX DAY!

7. We're an American Band will be the town anthem

8. immediate construction of a KISS statue in front of city hall

9. legalized prostitution, gambling, and drugs

10. every second tuesday is low rider day

[Bucky]

15. "Low rider" in the automotive sense or "low rider" in the jeans-low-on-the-hips sense?

This is a voting issue, so answer carefully.






























Also, with regard to item #6, does that count solo acts? I'm, uh, asking for a friend.


 

[Rosie1223]

18. Vote for Me!

Law & Order should never have been moved from 10/9c -- that Leno show sucks

Reform schools -- I will give what my lounge constituents want:


Water Fluoridation: I promise to always use cold water to mix the flour before cooking. The Lounge is never a place for Lumpy Gravy!

As for Kudzu: Harvard studies show that taking Kudzu prior to drinking enhances the alcohol effects while lowering consumption. http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/2005/05.19/09-kudzu.html This will allow the lounge to have more frequent parties while cutting spending from the already non-existent budget. It's a win-win!

[Bucky]

23. Mayor, hell, I vote you Queen of the Lounge. Failing that, I'll marry you and spoil ya rotten

Stop, you had me at "hidden pitfalls of a sensation crazed society"

[Dr. Strange]

19. Hmmm...

law & order: Never watched it. I've seen a few of the CSI shows, though.
reforming schools: Why the hell does the Lounge need schools? That's my question to you.
water fluoridation: Seems like a silly issue. Let's work on getting indoor plumbing for the Lounge first, okay?
ending the kudzu menace: If elected, I would outlaw kudzu. The only good kudzu is a stewed kudzu.

Also, if elected I promise:
Nekkid Mondays
More Sex Threads, Less Lockage
Nekkid Tuesdays
Free Kahlua to all Posters
Nekkid Wednesdays
Book Clubs
Nekkid Thursdays
A Weekly Make-Fun-of-flvegan Thread
Nekkid Fridays
Jello Wrestling Tournaments
Nekkid Saturdays
Weekly Chess Tutorials


Where do I go to sign up?

[flvegan]

28. Ha!

Hey, wait...

And you left off Nekkid Sundays, or are you some sort of Puritan?

[Dr. Strange]

30. Sunday is the Lord's day.

We keep our clothes on and sing Stryper songs. And Sonseed.

[flvegan]

31. It would seem that on such a blessed day

we should be wearing what the Lord blessed us with when we were born. Nice Stryper plug, Oz Fox. Album sales slow?

[MissMillie]

20. you shouldn't

I have no hunger for power and no desire to govern


I'm just waiting for someone to open up the bar.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

21. Because I've already been elected Mayor of Baltimore, of course!

[Tobin S.]

24. Two words: free donuts. You can take it to the bank.

[Q3JR4]

25. Um....

Eh.




Q3JR4.
Slacker wanna be with no interest in law & order, water fluoridation, or the Kuduz menace.

If you elect me, however, I will stop letting my dog crap on your lawn..

[KamaAina]

26. As to Law & Order,

I am staunchly pro-Mariska Hargitay. :loveya:

Also, we must preserve the purity of essence of our drinking water! I propose to do this by taking all the kids out of reform school to chop down all the kudzu and throw it in the treatment plants instead of the evil fluoride!

There! My platform is complete! "KamaAina '09: He's Not Just For Hawai'i Any More!"

edit: emoticon

[pokerfan]

27. If drafted, I will not run....

If nominated, I shall run to Canada. If elected, I shall fight extradition.

[brendan120678]

29. Because I am awesome.

And I support Hawaiian-shirt Fridays.

[texanwitch]

32. There should be two mayors.

One for the day and other for the late night, early morning.

[Wapsie B]

33. You shouldn't.

Vote for me that is.